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The Curry-Comb turn'd to its RIGHT USE; Or, The Powder-Monkey to a Jamaica Ship, Dreſs'd with it.By the Author of the Trip to Holland.

THE fiery Plantation Author perhaps may be angry, that I liken him to ſo little an Animal as a Monkey in the Title, when in his Tower-hill Simile he aſſumes to himſelf the mighty Image of a true bred Maſtiff; tho' where his Breeding is I can't tell; for I underſtand at the Derby Ale-houſe that his Friends never bred him a Scholar, but where his want of it appears may be eaſily diſcernable, even by our Au­thor, who has none.

The way to give him no further provocation is to Anſwer him in La­tin, and then your ſure not to be underſtood, unleſs he happily lights on Tom. Brown to expound it to him, and the way to provoke him is much more difficult to be found, if our Champion pleaſes to remember who 'twas challeng'd him before his Printer, and could get nothing more from him then that he liv'd at Iſlington; And this is an inſtance of his Courage, Contempt, and holding up his Leg, and ſcornfully piſſing upon his trembling Aſſailant; ſo it is an Evident Sign our Dealer in Similitudes, after he was not ſuffer'd to be one in Sugar, is as far from having any juſt claim to the uſe of a Cudgel for his Talent, as he has to the uſe of a Pen.

But our Author is eager for doing the World Juſtice, and the Un­mannerly ſauce-box muſt be diſcover'd, who dar'd yelp at the Heels of this Diſdainful Bull-dog. I warrant you he thinks he deſerves as much at leaſt as Dr. Oates for the Diſcovery of his Horrid Plot againſt the Purſes of his Majeſty's Subjects. A Bookſeller in Fleetſtreet ſhew'd him Feltham's Re­ſolves, pointed out the place to him, and with much ado, he Read it.

O Monſtrum Horrendum! Here is a Plagiariſm in Perfection, a whole Sheet and an half ſtolen, and not fall under the Cenſure of ſome Magi­ſtrate for it. But theſe two Words of Latin has ſent him in the ſearch of ſome Interpreter to give him the Engliſh of them. And now in his abſence, I muſt do my ſelf and the Bookſeller the ſame Juſtice he pre­tends to do to the World.

A Gentleman brought a ſmall Pamphlet in 12's to my Bookſeller, Entitul'd Batavia, or the Hollanders diſplay'd, but no Author, or Bookſeller's Name to it, but only Printed in the Year 1697. This he told him he brought from Holland, and advis'd him to Print it, as being full of pretty delightful Remarks. Accordingly it was brought me, and after adding two Sheets and an half to it, we agreed to call it a Trip to Holland, be­cauſe a certain ſcurrilous nonſenſical Pamphlet had ſold well under the Name of a Trip. This, upon the Word of a Gentleman, a Title, to which our Curry-Comber has no Plea, is the real Truth, and we were led on in this ignorance, till the Day or two before it was publiſhed, when it was too late, to recall a Deſign, the Bookſeller had been at too great a charge, and trouble in carrying on, to loſe the Publication of.

He is ſorry for the Man who deals in Books, and I am ſorry for him who pretends to write them; but I am ſure the laſt does not deſerve the Pity which the firſt is above. Wit and Neceſſity ſhould be the Ingre­dients of a good Poet; but how he comes to make this applicable to a Man who improves in his Trade, is Reputable amongſt his Neighbours, and is eſteem'd as a Companion for better Gentlemen than the Jamaica-Author, or his ignorant Printer〈◊〉, I cannot tell, unleſs the buſie Fleet-ſtreet Book-ſeller told him.

As he has deſcrib'd me to be a Little, Shallow-brain'd Fellow, ſo it will not be out of the way to give a Deſcription of him. To begin2 therefore with his Face; It is Ruſſet-colour'd, with Pock-holes in it; and as that is ſomewhat broader than ordinary, ſo his Skull, whoſe Em­ptineſs is the only Argument of a Vacuum in Nature, is proportionable. His Body is a long Ox's Bladder, blown up with the Wind of Derby-Ale: His Legs too have partaken of the ſame Flatus; and he looks like a Man who Cudgels People as much as he talks of it. For his Apparel, it all came out of one Shop: No one has the Impudence to call his Wigg a Second-handed one, for it was the Caſt-off of ſome Valet de Chambre, and he had it from his Maſter, the Broker from him, and he from the Bro­ker. The Sword was ſome disbanded Trooper's, a ſwinging one, which was pawn'd for a Shilling, and ſo our Author had a Bargain in it in buying it for Two. His Cravat and Ruffles, for I muſt tell you, when he came to Bully me, he had Hand-Cuffs, look'd as if they had the Yellow-Jaun­dice, and yawn'd at as many Holes as his own Jamaica did when it had an Earth-quake, which he calls the Dry Belly-Ach.

His Fancy is not Muſhroon, as he calls mine, which grows up to Perfe­ction in one Night; but he muſt have two Days and a Night to ſpoil what another would have perfected in half an Hour, elſe he would ne­ver have ſpent Saturday, Sunday, and the Night following, on ſo trifling an Half-ſheet as his Trip to Holland Detected.

As for his being a Tranſported Felon, I ſhall not concern my ſelf who incerted it, tho' he is ſo poſitive in his Man: Ev'n let it be as he thinks, for I ſhould loſe more than his Satisfaction would make me Amends for, ſhould I take the pains to inform him.

And for his pretending to inſinuate to the World, that I call'd my Bookſeller the Ignorant PUPPY, my Chap, I ſhould do well to lay the Ig­norance at his own Door, whoſe Brain is ſo ſhallow as not to fathom the Meaning of it. For once therefore, to hold a Light to his Underſtand­ing, which is hid under the Buſhel, his Skull, for I told you before the Di­menſions of it, I declare, I have more Reſpect for my Book-ſeller, than to load him with any ſuch Character; and I deſire him, who was one of the Readers, to take it to himſelf.

His laſt Paragraph but one, has Occaſion for a more ſerious Anſwer. Here he would faſten a Crime upon me, which I declare, in the Preſence of God, I know nothing of, directly, or indirectly; and know no more of what he means by his ambiguous ſpeaking of a Silver Tankard, than he did my Senſe when I ſaid the Puppy, my Chap. Indeed, I have ſold ma­ny Books, and cannot but think he had done me more Juſtice, had he ſaid, my Family (which he owns to be that of a Gentleman) had been diſgrac'd by their with-holding Money from me, not by my ſelling of Books. And, for writing Obſcene Ballads, Bloody Murthers, and Laſt Dy­ing Speeches, he cannot but remember where the Reflection lies, ſince he was W the Printer's Journey-man for a conſiderable time.

The laſt Paragraph gives you the Declaration of our Exaſperated Bull-Dog: He tells the World, as if he were at his laſt Confeſſion, he never wrote the Anſwer to the Trip to Holland. And what of all this? He has Curry'd himſelf out of the World's Favaur without it, by his Preſent of the Curry-Comb.

To conclude, for the Paper will hold no more, neither the Author, or the Book-ſeller, value the Threatnings of his Cane, or his London-Spy; but both are of the ſame Opinion with a great Writer at Will's Cof­fee-houſe, That now the Fool has written himſelf into ſome Reputation amongſt the Mob, he is writing Poſt to get out of it again.

This Day is Re-printed The Trip to Holland; and may be had at moſt Bookſellers.

On Thurſday ſeven-night will be Publiſh'd The London Spy taken and Executed, with his laſt dying Speech.

LONDON, Printed in the Year 1698.

About this transcription

TextThe curry-comb turn'd to its right use; or, The powder-monkey to a Jamaica ship, dress'd with it By the author of the Trip to Holland.
Author[unknown]
Extent Approx. 9 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 2 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images.
Edition1699
SeriesEarly English books online.
Additional notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A81192)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 153165)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1641-1700 ; 2352:4)

About the source text

Bibliographic informationThe curry-comb turn'd to its right use; or, The powder-monkey to a Jamaica ship, dress'd with it By the author of the Trip to Holland. 1 sheet (2 p.) [s.n.],London :printed in the year 1698 [i.e. 1699]. ("The author of the Trip to Holland" in the above title prepared a 1697 edition of Owen Felltham's "Batavia: or the Hollanders display'd" (originally published in 1672; Wing F647C), to which, according to the contents of the work being catalogued here, he added "two sheets and an half" and called it "A trip to Holland, because a certain scurrilous nonsensical pamphlet had sold well under the name of a trip", i.e. "A trip to Jamaica" by Edward Ward (1698; Wing W763). It is possible that the copies reported at Wing F659 and F659A, i.e. "A trip to Holland", include both this work, laudatory to the Netherlands, and the "scurrilous nonsensical pamphlet" of the same title.) (A reply to "A trip to Holland", the scurrilous satire referred to above. Our anonymous author clearly believes it to be by Edward Ward, since in his text he alludes to "the fiery plantation author", referring to Ward's "A trip to Jamaica" and names Ward's printer, "J. How", the printer of that work) (Actual date of publication from Wing.) (Reproduction of original in the Henry E. Huntington Library.)
Languageeng
Classification
  • Felltham, Owen, 1602?-1668. -- Batavia: or the Hollander displayed -- Early works to 1800.
  • Ward, Edward, 1667-1731 -- Early works to 1800.
  • Trip to Holland, being a description of the country, people and manners -- Early works to 1800.
  • Broadsides -- England

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Publisher
  • Text Creation Partnership,
ImprintAnn Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2013-12 (EEBO-TCP Phase 2).
Identifiers
  • DLPS A81192
  • STC Wing C7684B
  • STC ESTC R225864
  • EEBO-CITATION 99895645
  • PROQUEST 99895645
  • VID 153165
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