MIſtreſſe Scollopendra, I joy to ſee you, with all your lineaments about you; a whole Noſe, a quick eye, (and I dare be confident) not defective be­neath the Navell: whither are you bound Lady?

No matter whither, I cannot be out of my way, we may een hang up our Harpes, now no more melody: By the faith of my body, I ſwear to you (Miſtreſſe Macquerella) I have not had a Cullee worth half a Crown to me this half a ſcore dayes.

Ah wicked world, that I ſhould live to ſee this day; a fine Age y-faith, when procreation muſt doe pennance in an Halter; well fare the memory of the men of former times, who made wholſome Lawes for the protection of Handſome wo­men; men are now clean degenerated. Bleſſed be thy Soul de­ceaſed Sardanapalus, who mad'ſt Lawes in favour of the Female ſex, had'ſt thy whole leaſh of Beauties charrioted after thee in all thy progreſſions; and in honour of long Coates, didſt wear a womans Habit.

Well met Miſtreſſe Macquerella, and Miſtreſſe Scollo­pendra, you are happily encounter'd.

Pimpinello, thou ſeeſt the ſadneſſe of my condition, I was not wont to walk thus accounter'd by Venus: I, yeſterday, was fain to engage my upper weed (the Tabby Gowne thou knoweſt Sir Matthew Mintz gave me) for a dinner of Green Cheeſe and Chibbals; and to day (if I will eat) muſt I put off this Petticoat. O the world's ſtrangely alter'd (Pimpinello) time was (thou knoweſt) when I allow'd thee thirty pounds a yeer ſterling but to wait on the ſtair head to prevent the ap­proach of ſtrange faces.

I, I, then, was then, but now's now; not a penny ſtir­ring:2 we, the Citizens of Sodome, are like thoſe Apples ſaid to grow near that lake occaſioned by a ſhowre of Brimſtome, a childs touch will moulder us into powder; we may keep centry at our dores, and Hem till our lungs ake; aske every one that paſſes by what's a clock till we have brought the naturall day to a period: All our ſugred Speeches, and alluring Geſtures, prove to no effect. The Act, the late Act againſt Fornication, and o­ther Veniall ſinnes, 'tis that hath undone us all.

Farewell all former Joyes: as for eating, and drinking, I deſpiſe them both, my mouth may be ſow'd up for any uſe I am like to have of my teeth, and (ſave that I deſire to die, (as I was borne) crying I would play Oedipus, and pull out my mine own eyes that I might might not behold the miſery that is fallen, and yet like to fall upon the poor pentioners of the Placket: I have not the leaſt imployment, not a Gentleman now that dares, or cares to tell me, when the toy takes his bloud, and deſire a caſt of my office: All's gone, all's loſt, I'le ene hang my ſelfe up­on the next tree that ſtands in my way.

Be of comfort man, this is but a paper pellet, a nine dayes wonder at the moſt. What, Miſtreſſe Giggleſby holds up ſtill, and Miſtreſſe Tatchet, and Miſtreſſe Fulſome doe ſtill retain their domeſtick Doxies, and are as well cuſtom'd as ever, Ile aſ­ſure thee, only a great diſaſter hapned lately to Miſtreſſe Tatchet, to the great diſcredit of her occupation.

What was that for Heavens ſake?

Marry thus, you know the little Tib whom ſhe took from the Charity of the Pariſh, to maintaine at her own coſt, till ſhe ſhould be of years to repay her expence, by the ſweat of her — for want of looking to, hath ſo pittifully ſing'd Maſter Mentula, that he lookes like a cold Codling, as much breath as would cauſe a Leveret to leave her hold, I'le undertake, will diſ-member him: oh he's rotten roaſted.

Such accidents muſt be expected ſometimes, fleſh will not alwayes keep ſweet though you keep it continually buried in Salt.

Pray thee tell me (Pimpinello) for I am ſure thou knoweſt, who of our profeſſion hath the late Act put to the rout, and who have ſtood, and are like to ſtand the ſhock;3 God forbid but ſome ſhould be wiſer than ſome.

To anſwer your queſtion, let me ſee:

In the City

• Miſtreſſe Clark.
• Miſtreſſe Purſer.
• Miſtreſſe Maunge.

defunct.

In the Su­burbs.

• Miſtreſſe Filth.
• Miſtreſſe Puddle.
• Miſtreſſe Froth.
• Miſtreſſe Crack.

run away.

• Miſtreſſe Blear
• Miſtreſſe Earwig
• Miſtreſſe Dive
• Miſtreſſe Pick
• Miſtreſſe Front
• Miſtreſſe Fawne

Flouriſhing.

But the laſt of the firſt rank (ſweet Miſtreſſe Crack) ah, that name would crack any heartſtrings made of wire: dear [Mi­ſtreſſe Crack] in thy ruine my fortunes are for ever buried.

Alas poor Pimpinello: but ſirah, prithee tell me under what penalty doe we lie, what pennance is allotted us in the late Act.

Pennance, ſay you, a ſmall ſlight puniſhment, I wot, hanging, burning, carting, whipping, or ſo, matters of ſmall mo­ment, triviall things theſe.

Alas, poor women, who are ſuſpended from that pri­viledge the very Cats enjoy, who play and ſport with their Tails, and yet fear no cenſure for ſo doing.

Now you talk of Cats, you put me in minde of ſome Verſes that one gave me yeſterday.

For Gods love let's hear them.

Out upon thee (Pimpinello) this Song is made in diſ­grace of us, and our profeſſion, prithee wipe thy poſteriors with't.

Nay, hear it out, (for Martin Parkers ſake) the laſt makes amends for the firſt.

Well, well, (Miſtreſſe Scollopendra) he that ſhould have told me this ſeven years ago, I ſhould have ſpet in his face as the erranteſt lyar ever ſpoke with a tongue: For mine own part, ſince I muſt needs be honeſt againſt my will, I reſolve to practice temperance, with my will; ſome convenient well ſcituated Stall (wherein to ſit, and ſell Time, Rue, and Roſemary, Apples, Gar­like, and Saint Thomas Onyons) will be a fit Palace for me to practice pennance in. Oh! I hate the thought of being branded with the letter B. 'tis ten times worſe then the Mark of the Beaſt I'le maintain it.

Oh! oh! now could I be contented to be thrown out5 of ſome window, though it were three ſtories high; to ſtand in a Pillory day, by day, for a twelve moneth together; or to re­ceive the Laſh from Charing-Croſſe to White-Chappell, ſo there­by I might call back the dayes of Yore. Oh 'twas a brave world when my Clients were ſo rich, and ſo many, that I knew not what to aske, or whoſe turn to ſerve firſt.

When the Prieſts came ſimpring in

Reſolv'd to turne the pin.

When Citizens each day

Were glad to pray and pay:

Moſt eager for to ſeaſe

Ʋpon the French diſeaſe.

When Sack o'rewhelm'd the houſe,

While we did Healths carrouſe;

And Muſick in our ears

Beyond that of the Spheares.

All's gone.

All's loſt.

Now I think on't, there might be a way found out to hold up our trade in ſpight of all the Acts in the world.

For Heavens ſake how?

How? ſweet (Macquerella.)

Marry thus, it is but doubling our dores, and provi­ding thick Curtains for the windowes; for the Act ſaith, that Oath muſt be made againſt the parties ere they can be lyable to Cenſure; this will encreaſe thy number, (my Pimpinello) and therewithall your wages: every door muſt have its Guardian, and thoſe Guardians ſo politically dealt withall, that themſelves (having they a will to be betray their truſt) ſhall have no cauſe to ſwear truly: For example the parties entred into the Cham­ber of Delight lock the door; and leſt any peep through the Key-hole, ſome other door near that (being likewiſe lock'd) ſhall give it a broad ſide.

Thou haſt talk'd much to no purpoſe: the ſubſtance of all6 is, things muſt be carried cunningly, clandeſtinely, and obſcurely, and then a fig for all the Law in the world; and by this meanes, what is intended for our detriment and obloquie, ſhall prove to our profit and glory; for if the old maxim be true, that the worſt books of ſale, when once called in, ſell the beſt; this edict will much enhaunce our prizes, thou (Macquerella) hadſt but half a piece before for thy permiſſion, now a Jacobus is as little as can be given; thou Pimpinello haſt had (commonly) hitherto but two Georges for thy purveyance, now half a Piece, or nothing.

O rare Projectreſſe, let me kiſſe the ſole of thy ſhooe.

My own ſallary trebled to my former rates; and this mu­tation we may well juſtifie, alledging the hazard we run, and the inevitable danger of our perſons in caſe of a diſcovery.

O rare, beyond expreſſion, this diſcourſe is as cordiall a comfort to my heart, as Clary and Eggs hitherto to my back, ſweet Lady adopt me your ſworn ſervant, in ordinary; I vow, if I ſtay one day longer without finding ſome imployment for my teeth, I muſt ene Mill ſome Ken, or prig ſome Prauncer, and then I know Newgate and Tyburne are not far aſſunder.

Alas Pimpinello, all I can doe for thee is to pitty thee, my ſelf am reſolved to be far enough off from the reach of this Act, ſo terrible to all our tribe; I intend to ſet ſaile for the fa­mous City of Venice, where I may uſe mine own, cum privilegio; nay, and be thought no ordinary ſervant as well to the Popes Holineſſe, as to the Dukes Mightineſſe; there I will goe clad like Cleopatra, fare like Flora, drink like Druſilla, and die like Da­movilla.

I ſee then I cannot avoid my deſtiny, a ſhort life and a merry cry I, welcome be the grace of Fortune. Farewel Miſtreſſe Scolopendra, adieu Mrs. Macquerella, pray Mrs. Macquerella when you ſee me take Cart, let me have your beſt Character.

Now by all the fleſh of my body (Pimpinello) I pitty thee, but cannot help, poverty parts good company: I muſt to my Ware-houſe, adieu dear Mrs. Scolopendra.

Farewell (my loved Macquerella) have a good heart woman, the Golden Age may once again return.

Never, never, mother Shipton hath denounced the con­trary; Venus hold her hand over you where ever you go.

Adieu, adieu.