THere lived (not many years ſince) in the North part of England a young Farmer named Balbulo, who became extreamly Ena­moured on a Damſell (his next neighbour)3 called Roſina, at laſt he obtained his deſires to Marry her; but before the time appointed, they had agreed to be anticipatious in the bu­ſines, and too too forward in yeilding one a­nothers benevolences before they were due: For the effecting whereof, time and place were appointed, Roſina was the firſt Cham­pion that appeared in the field, Balbulo met with ſome good Fellowes by the way that fore-ſlow'd his march, and retarded his ap­pearance to the Court of Venus.

Yet for all that Balbulo would approve himſelf mindfull of his promiſe; and though he were obſtructed (by an unlook'd-for acci­dent) from proſtrating his perſon, to the di­ſpoſure of his pliant Para-nymph: yet to ſig­nifie his reality, and that his Miſtreſſe aſpect (with ſorrow for his procraſtination) might not be muffled (at his approach) in ſullen miſts of dolour, though he had ever hated (hi­therto) to pick out his own brains with his Pen, he took pen, ink, and paper, and thus ele­gantly exerciz'd his Genius.

After he had finiſhed this elaborate Epiſtle, he called for Starch, and after the beſt manner cementing both ends of the folded paper, he ſuperſcribed it thus:

Having brought to period this Important buſineſſe, he ſpeedily diſpatched an Emiſſarie, with charge to diliver his Epiſtle to none ſave his deare Roſina, who poore ſoule (having given him over for a loſt man, her Hoſteſſe be­ing of the ſame faith) were once reſolved to wait his leiſure no longer, but Roſina (ſome­thing more confident of his performance then the other) was willing to ſpin out a little more time, and buſies her ſelfe in making a Sack-poſſet againſt his comming, the Poſſet5 being made, but no Balbulo, patience was quite worne out, when, as good luck would have it, in comes mother Red-caps Son, with a letter in his hand from Balbulo, as welcome (God knowes) to the red cheek'd Roſina, as a ſhower of Raine to a parch'd Dunghill; Oh quoth Roſina, I little thought Balbulo would have ſerv'd me thus, I am like to have great good of him when we are Married, that failes in the performance of his firſt promiſe; Ah Balbulo, Balbulo, didſt thou know the ar­dour of my longing deſires, thou wouldſt rob Cupid of his wings and flie into my Armes, with a ſtrict charge to conjure Balbulo, by all that was, is, and like to come: the meſſenger returns to Balbulo, whom he found in the very ſame poſture he left him, Bowſing, and Bray­ing, with the reſt, to whom approaching, he craved his eare in private, who fetching a deep ſigh from the very bottome of his belly (a ſigh God knowes, ſo hot, and Sulpherous that it had endangered his Beard, had not his nu­merous teares opportunely drop'd, and al­layed the fervour thereof) taxing his dull de­lay, and reſolving ſpeedily to breake up Schoole, and haſt to his beloved, he returned to his companions.

And now alſo, let us returne to forlorne and penſive Roſina, who having quite tyred out her patience, and being no longer able to6 containe her ſelfe, tooke the Sack-poſſet and ſet it upon the Cubberds head, covering it with a Trencher, and a napkin, placing a can­dle by it, tooke leave of her Hoſteſſe, and prepares for bedward, putting the door only too, for feare her Sweet-heart ſhould finde any difficulty in his approach, if (as he was like) he ſhould happen to come late, or ſhe diſturb'd to let him in, if it ſhould be locked, or bolted; late brought all to bed, that were in the houſe.

Now you muſt underſtand, that in the even­ing before this hapned, that a Bearward had brought three luſty Bears, to town and had ta­ken up quarters for them in the ſame Inne, lodging them in a little Stable that hapned to be juſt underneath the Chamber where Bal­bulo and Roſina had intended to be very Su­perlative, in the degrees of happineſſe. But it hapned that Roſina was no ſooner got into her bed, but one of the great Bears, ſenting the ſtreame of the Poſſet, broke looſe, and hapned to pull downe a whole pane of the wall, that opened at the foote of the Staire caſe, that led up to Roſina's lodgings, up Staires climbs the Beare, Roſina hearing ſome body comming up, was in good hope it had been her Sweet­heart, though ſhe thought the party came up, ſomewhat heavily, and trod (though not more gently, yet) more ſoftly then Roſina was wont7 to doe, which ſhe conjectured to be, becauſe (it may be) he was in the darke, and had no body to light him up the Staires, and it would be otherwiſe ſo ſoone as he ſhould come into the light, [enter Beare] Roſina (perceiving ſo ugly a creature comming in, upon all foure, winding with his noſe, and twinkling with his eyes) ſhe ſinkes down in her bed, and falls a praying, but durſt not cry out for feare ſhe ſhould give the devouring creature notice of her being there: but tears, which had ſo little way to fall, and fall ſo ſoftly, and trembling, that could make no noiſe upon a bed of downe, ſhe makes uſe of ſufficiently, to ex­preſſe the wofulneſſe of her condition, and the greatneſſe of her feare which was preſently augmented, and multiplied upon her like num­bers, in Arithmetick, for the Beare (ſenting the Poſſet) riſes up an end, and with his fore­pawes, reſts upon the Cubberd, and nuzzells the Trencher that covered the Poſſet off the Goblet, and thruſting his ſnout into the hot-kept licquour, he ſo burnt his noſe, that he made a moſt fearfull noiſe, and endeavouring to leap downe, his nailes ſo ſtuck in the Cub­berd-cloth, that downe comes the Sack-poſſet about his eares, the Candle into his eyes, which the melted tallow (together with the hot liquour) ſo got into, and made them ſo ſmart that it cauſed him to Roare, as if all the De­vills8 in hell had been in the roome: all this while the Beares clawes were not diſ-engaged from the Cubberd-cloath, nor the cloath from what it covered, ſo that at laſt (with the Bears ſtriving) downe comes the great canopied Cubberd, and all upon the Beare, ſo that the Beare began to be worſe afraid, and more hurt, then terrified Roſina, who labouring to diſcharge himſelfe of the weight that was up­on him, (the Candle all this while lying upon the ground ſtill blazing) the Beare (at laſt) intch'd, and intch'd, ſo neare unto the flame, that it ſet all the haire upon the Beares back on fire, whereat the Beare ſet out a wider throat, then all the baitings that ever he had could force him to; Roſina (hearing a great deale of noiſe beſides what the Beare made, and received no hurt as yet) thought that ſome body had come in unto her reſcue, and was ordering the Beare, and that the Beare Roar'd by reaſon of ſome correction, where­fore ſhe took the boldneſſe, to peepe out of the bed, to ſee whether it were ſo or not, but when ſhe perceived a thing all on fire, and another thing over it, ſtirring up and downe the roome, ſhe began to be afraid of the De­vill, worſe then of the Beare, wherefore ſhe flings the cloathes over her head againe, and falls to making vowes, that if ever ſhe were delivered from that juſt Judgement that was9 upon her for that unlawfull aſſembly, ſhe would never violate the old Lawes and Cu­ſtomes of her devout Aunceſtors, by ſuch deeds of Anticipation; whereupon the Beare (diſ-ingag'd of his toyle) left Roaring, the Candle, and the Haire went out, all was quiet, the Beare fell to licking up his Poſſet, all about the roome, (to which the Beare had not been accuſtomed) that his brains were intoxicated, (who wanting a place, to repoſe his giddy braine) Skip-frogs up upon the bed, and layes him downe halfe on, and halfe off the miſe­rable Roſina: the Bearward hearing the noiſe, was riſing out of his bed, to know the cauſe of their unrulineſſe, but perceiving them to be quiet, went to bed againe.

By this time Balbulo had parted with his merry Mates, and comes (more drunk then ſober) to the dore, the outward dore of the houſe) the Hoſteſſe asketh who's there? Bal­bulo cries, tis I: who are you ſaid the Hoſteſſe? tis I Balbulo, don't you know my voice? you know my buſineſſe well enough: tis you (ſaid the Hoſteſſe) is this a time a night? well I come, ſhe ſlips an old Petticoate over her ſhoulders and comes to the dore and lets him in, telling him, that he was a fine man indeed to have a Sweet-heart, if ſhe were as ſhe, ſhe would make him ſtay the good houre, and if there were a yeare to the end on't.

Well ſaid Balbulo, get you to bed, trouble not your ſelfe, where is ſhe? is ſhe in the Chamber I beſpoke? I, I, ſaid the Hoſteſſe, can you find the way in the dark? there is a light in the Chamber, and a Sack-poſſet, pro­vided for you, you are a ſweet youth, y-faith, y-faith ſhee is too good for you, goodnight, goodnight old woman, (ſaid Balbulo) too good for me, who is to good for me? up the Staires comes Balbulo, and finds the dore open, but ſeeing no light in the Chamber, he asks her, what are you? in darkneſſe? he had not advanced three ſteps into the roome, but what with the ſlipperineſſe of the boords, by reaſon of the Sack poſſet, and the licking of the Beares tongue, down comes Balbulo all along, up he gets upon his legs, but had not made one ſtep nearer the bed, but over the Cubberd comes poore Balbulo, hurts his hands, and breaks his elbowes, lies ſtill a while and askes, where am I? what have we here? what's here to doe?

Roſina heard a mans voice, but was afraid there had been another Beare, at laſt he gets up, and reſolves to order his ſteps more wati­ly, and laying hold upon one of the Beds poſts, he thought himſelfe ſafe enough, and that he had her ſure, when behold opening his Armes to imbrace his beloved, and his mouth to be­ſtow this pleaſing language upon; Ah my11 ſweet heart, I hope thou wilt not be angry with me, for ſtaying ſo long, in troth I could not help it, and therewith falling downe up­on the bed, to take his miſtreſſe in his Armes, he imbraced the Beare, who having awaked with his kindneſſe, Roar'd him forth ſuch a curtaine lecture, as I thinke never any ſuch Delinquent was ſo miſerably ſerv'd before, Balbulo recoiles, forſaking his ſtation with ſuch violence as Rocks and Stones doe uſe to make, when they are removed out of their places; when Hell finds out a new mouth, by ſome eruption of the earth, ſo that (forgetting his ſtumbling block which lay in his way) he breakes his Shins againſt the Cubberd, and over and over he tumbles, being moſt miſera­bly tormented, in which agony (knowing not what he did) miſtaking his way in the darke, at the bottome of the Staires inſtead of going out at the dore, he runs into the broken place in the wall, that the Beare had made, and ſo ſtumbles upon the other two, [Ba-a] cries one of the Bears, [Ba-a] cries the other too, Balbulo imagining no leſſe, but that flying from one, he had fallen into Hell, amongſt all the Devills, Scrambles (he knew not how) from between them, and ſo got looſe from both, and recovers his feet, but durſt not make any other uſe of them then ſtanding up­on them, ſo unfortunate had his motion been12 unto him of late, that ſtill he ran into further miſchief, till at laſt this Beares unrulineſſe, made him venture farther off the danger, ſo that he got cloſe to the Manger, then he knew where he was, up he gets into it, and for his greater ſecurity ſake climbs up into the rack, the Beare-ward (hearing a ſecond Alarum) riſeth out of his bed, and came to ſee what was the matter, where he ſpied one of his Beares miſſing, and the wall broke downe, where ſhe had got out, preſently he raiſes the Houſe, ſaying, he was undone, one of his Beares was broken looſe and got away, up they all riſe, unchaine the Doggs, ſearch for the Beare, enter the Stable, ſee where the Beare broke out, which while they were view­ing, they could heare a voice from the Rack ſide, ſaying, doe you heare, doe you heare, I know where your Bear is, with a pox to you, they looked up, and ſpied Balbulo amongſt the Rack ſtaves; they asked him, where, where I pray now? where? (ſaies Balbulo) I know where well enough, but looke that your Beares be ſafe, and I'le come downe and ſhew you: they ſecuring him from all danger, he deſcends from his Palliſadoes, and directs them up into his miſtreſſe Chamber, giving the Beare­ward, and the Doggs leave to goe before him, who find the Beare faſt aſleepe in Bal­bulo his place, ſo that with much convenience,13 they got the ſtring into the ring, and pull'd the Bear from off the bed, Balbulo turning downe the bed to ſee what was become of his ſweet heart, there aſcended ſuch a wreake of Bak'd, and Boyl'd, and Stew'd, and Roaſt-meat, that his Stomack was quite turn'd, but eſpying his beloved you may Imagine what a dolefull congratulation there was betwixt them, but the reſult of all was, the Beareward deſcended with his Beaſts, Roſina aſcended, and what with the help of her Hoſteſſe, and the aſſiſtance of water, became ſweet againe; Balbulo having drunke hard the day before, and having beene ſo turmoiled the very night, lay'd him downe to reſt, and (as well as his broaken Elbowes, and ſore Shins, would give him leave) ſlept ſome houres.

Roſina and her Hoſteſſe, by this time, had ſufficiently execrated the Malice of Fortune, together with the Beareward, his robuſtious Beaſt, Roſina condoling her owne diſappoint­ment, her Hoſteſſe deploring Balbulo's Infor­tunitie but at length, being weary with be­wailing, they reſolved to bemoane an helpe­leſſe Ill, but cleare up their dejected Spirits, with good meat and comfortable licquours, a Dinner therefore they reſolved to prepare againſt Balbulo's Reſurection, and that no­thing might be wanting to expell Melan­cholly, and drive away ſullen thoughts, they14 agreed with Godfrey a blind Harper, that he ſhould ſtrike his ſtrings all that day, till having received his ſupper, together with his hire, he might grope his way home.

By this time Balbulo awakes, comes downe (what with his exceſſive tipling the day be­fore, and what with his nocturnall anxieties) looking more like a Ghoſt then Balbulo, to the ineffable ſorrow of Roſina, and the Ho­ſteſſe, who indeavoured to comfort him all they might. Be contented my dear Balbulo, (ſaid Roſina) our delights are but adjourn'd, not annihilated by the late unhappy diſaſter; pox on the Bearward, and his liquoriſh Beaſt, by whoſe meanes we were hindred of that ſweet ſollace we had otherwiſe enjoy'd; but my beloved Balbulo (ſaid ſhe) the approach­ing night ſhall make amends for all. I remem­ber what my old Mother was wont to ſay,

Come ſweet Balbulo fall to, chear up thy afflicted ſpirits (Balbulo all this while ſate like the Devill in his Dumps) fie for ſhame (ſaid the Hoſtoſſe) ſhall a woman, who is the wea­ker Veſſell, exceed you in courage? She (poor ſoul) was almoſt raviſh'd by the ſavage Crea­ture, life and chaſtity at once endangered, and all for your ſake. Well, with much ado Balbulo15 was allured to eat, and by degrees to drink; and (after that) with ſlender arguments, to Mirth, the Harper all this while making mello­die, equall to the wheeles of ſome empty Cart, hurried upon the ſtones; after a pleni­tude of Meat, Wine, and Mirth, Godfrey de­parted home, and Balbulo and Roſina (maugre their late infortunity) to their Chamber, hand in hand, their Hoſteſſe bleſſing them all the way.

But alas, poor Balbulo, and loving Roſina were ever two Inamorates; ſo thwarted in the fruition of each others Love; they had ſcarce proved one another of a different ſex, but behold loud rapping at the doore, and ra­ving for entrance, the Hoſteſſe having taken a luſty cup the day before for joy, (to uſe her own words) that ſince things were no better, they were no worſe; ſlept as ſupinely as a drunken Dutchman, or a Watchman, at four of the clock in the morning, with much adoe was awaked; and between fear and diſpair, at laſt opened the doore for the Conſtable, his Painted Staffe, and his drove of Watchmen to enter in.

Now you muſt underſtand, that not many houres before, a notable Robbery was com­mitted in the Towne; and a Gentleman ha­ving loſt to the value of 3000l. wherefore the Conſtable being deſired to uſe his Au­thority16 for the detecting, and apprehending of the Theives if he could catch them; thought no place more likely to abſcond ſuch kind of fellowes then Innes, and Alehouſes; and having alarumed many, he at length came hither, and preſently ſearcheth roome by roome for the Theives.

Balbulo and Roſina hearing a Tumult in the houſe, became almoſt out of their wits, and could willingly have thought the Bear was again entring on the Stage to Act the ſecond part of his laſt nights Tragy-Comedy, ſave that they heard the voices of Men, and not the grumbling of Beares; they knew alſo that the doore was lock'd, neither was there any Inviting Poſſet on the Cubberds head: Well, they lay trembling a long time, and blamed the blame-worthy Deſtinies for ſo conſtant a perſeverance in the fruſtrating of their de­ſignes. Oh! quoth Roſina, I perceive now that bad ac­cidents wait on bad actions By this they might hear the tumult draw near them, Oh, quoth Balbulo, we are undone! riſe, riſe, good love for Heavens ſake, we ſhall be both carried to Priſon; Hark, hark, the Officers are even at hand to ceiſe upon us. Unfortunate Rofina, of two evills, being deſirous to chuſe the leaſt, quickly hung on her Gar­ments very Geometrically, and with her beloved, took her journey out at a Window opening into a Garden, eſcaping not without great danger of their lives, the de­ſcent was ſo high: being down, they both concluded to wait the leaſure, when unlawfulneſſe ſhould be leſſe attended, with ſo heavy Judgements: What became of them afterwards, Turpin, my Author, doth not relate; but certainly the Protean Goddeſſe never excerciſed her power more Tyrannically o're two Lovers, than o're Balbulo and Rofina; for never was a ſtory of more woe but that of Juliet and Romeo.