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THE French Mountebank, OR AN OPERATOR Fit for theſe preſent Times.

Being a man of great travell and experience throughout moſt Countries in Chriſtendome, and to the great comfort and happineſſe of this Kingdome lately come to Town, and is ready to ſhew himſelfe a man of Skill, in all particulars hereafter mentioned, to the diſtreſſed Rich for their Money, and to the Poor for Gods ſake.

[printer's or publisher's device

1642 March .21 LONDON, Printed for R. Auſtin, and A. Coe. 1643.

THE French Mountebank, OR An Operator fit for theſe Times.

COnducted by the hand of Providence, me arrived at Dover on the firſt of March, where me ſtayed two, tree, foure, and five dayes, exerciſing my faculty in a chari­table way among tee poore Seamans, tee reſidue of tee time before I came to this renowned City, me ſpent for tee moſt part in Canterbury, where by rea­ſon of tee great confluence of People, me was forced to erect a Stage, whereon to preſerve my own ſelfe from ſtifling, and the better to preſent my own ſelfe and my Rarities to the ſight and view of the multitude. Yet for for all this me could take very little money. Me appear­ed every day with my Dwarfe, my Hermaphrodite, and my Monkey, and entertained them all a mode de France, with Songs, Anticks, and Maſques, yet all would not not doe, me could ſee but little money.

My ſelfe and my Hermaphrodite,
My Dwarf, and Monkey, all that night
Were very full of ſorrow:
We did deſpaire
To take the ayre
In publike on the morrow.
Yet once more we came forth againe,
And had our labour for our paine;
Though me pul'd out rare knacks,
All with one voice
Made a great noiſe,
And cri'd we were but Quacks.
Then down me laid my Velvet cloke,
And quickly pul'd out of my poke
Papers from ſev'rall lands;
Where they did ſee
Wonders of me,
Confirm'd by thouſand hands.
The ſilly people now beleeve,
And crafty me do laugh in ſleeve,
To ſee them ſo ſoon taken:
They money bring
To buy each thing,
Beſides Gooſe, Eggs, and Bacon.

When me had vented all my Commodities, it was not ſafe for me to ſtay long there, yet me be ſure if tey do them no good, tey will do them no harme: And now me be newly come unto this famous City of London, and the City of London cannot but confeſſe themſelves very much beholden to me, that after ſo many yeares travaile, and experience in ſeverall Countries, both Chri­ſtian, and Pagan, me be pleaſed now in theſe latter, and moſt knowing daies of mine, to leave wandring, and re­ſide here with them.

The reaſon why me do ſhew mine ſelfe in print firſt is, becauſe me be tickled in the conceit by ſome, that this is the beſt way to make my ſelfe known unto you, and the ſetting up of Bils upon Poſts, is the tricks of tee Mountebanke, which me do abhorre.

Imprimis, me do meane to tell you what rare exploits me have done abroad.

Me firſt in Paris up was bred,
A mender of the Maidenhead,
Where by mine Art I did reſtore,
The ſound, and eke the Pocky Whore:
And ſo ſalve up Virginity,
That none could any fault eſpie.
This cal'd me out of France to Spain,
To ſtop up a new open'd Vein,
Me found the Lady ſore, and Stradling,
Yet made her go quick, without wadling;
With promiſes to make me great,
She would have kept me for this Feat:
But me cri'd Madam pardon me,
For me be bound for Tartarie,
In haſte, to viſit the great Cham,
And rectifie his crooked Hamme,
Beſides to ſhew a piece of Art,
Upon his Doxies lower part,
Me made their Tooles ſo well and right,
They got three Heires all in a night.
The next of my admired workes,
Was done among the cruell Turkes,
Where to the Fame of me, and France,
Me mended up a ſad miſchance,
The broken necke me firme did ſet,
Of their then Emperour Mahomet,
And once me rais'd from death to life,
With Cordials, the Grand-Seigniors wife.
Thence me came into Germanie,
Where were as cunning Knaves as I,
Such tricks me ſaw, that me did feare,
Mine for that place too ſhallow were.
From thence to England me ſoone come,
And here intend to make my home.

And now Dukes, Earles, Lords, Biſhops, Knights, Deanes, Prebends, Gentlemen of Englant, &c. and all others, High and Low, Rich and Poore, me do addreſſe mine ſelfe to you in all humility. For as much as me do underſtand that ſince this preſent Perliament, there hath been many ſtrange and unheard of diſeaſes, ſeizing upon certain ſorts of People, that were in perfect health before, and as yet remaining incureable, me being accuſtomed to cure ſuch diſeaſes, do undertake theſe Maladies follow­ing, and for my better proceeding in the cure when they come to my hands, me joyn to every Mallady ſome ſhort directions for their obſervation. Though a Parliament (as me do know) be ſalus Populi, the beſt meanes conduce­ing to the health of this Nation, yet as in ill conditioned ſtomacks, oftentimes the beſt Cordials degenerate into an ill nature, and ſo become as offenſive to the Body, as the ill humours themſelves; even ſo this Parliament, (which God preſerve) though as well a temper'd Cordiall for this languiſhing Kingdome as ever was, yet to ſome ill humoured Members it hath proved Feavouriſh, and ſet them all on Fire, as Ieſuits, Papiſts, and Cavaliers: and to others as bad as poyſon, as to Church Statiſts, and Mono­poliſts, thoſe Catterpillers of the Common-wealth, &c. So then me being by my proffeſſion to cure all diſeaſes, muſt not be blamed, if me do name all indifferently, and me do ſee no reaſon why me ſhould be blamed for name­ing ſuch of theſe diſeaſes, which me do intend, and pro­miſe to cure, therefore Sans diſsimulation, or Feare, me do proceed.

Imprimis, once more; if you know
Of any Citizen does owe
More then he can pay,
Though broken-backt, me him aſſure
Me have a medicine will him cure,
Let him break word or day.
Is any Biſhop with a paine
Much troubled in his head or braine,
And would be made lighter,
Me do ſuppoſe that the worſt harme
Comes from his being kept too warme,
Let him throw off his miter.
Hath any been a great whore-maſter,
And in his age now wants a plaiſter
That will do the deed?
Hath any Madam caught the pox
By daily tribute to her box?
She need not purge or bleed:
She ſhall regain her credit well
If ſhe obſerve what me do tell,
And then take what me give her:
No matter who dare to attaint her,
For there are wayes in age to Saint her,
Though ne're ſo lewd a liver.
Is any troubled with ſore eyes,
For loſing of Pluralities?
Me have a good water:
To cool them, and a moſt rare pill
To purge the humours that are ill,
And feed the greedy matter.

Theſe and many more the Profeſſour hereof will faithfully performe, he beeing but newly come to town you cannot expect much from him, till longer obſerva­tion hath better acquainted him with the diſeaſes now raging, and ranging in this Land.

If any deſire to make uſe of him in any of theſe parti­culars aforenamed, or to make known any other Mal­ladie wherewith they are afflicted, let them repaire to the Phyſitiaus Colledge.

Vive Le Roy.

About this transcription

TextThe French mountebank, or An operator fit for these present times. Being a man of great travell and experience throughout most countries in Christendome, and to the great comfort and happinesse of this kingdome lately come to town, and is ready to shew himselfe a man of skill, in all particulars hereafter mentioned, to the distressed rich for their money, and to the poor for Gods sake.
Author[unknown]
Extent Approx. 9 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 5 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images.
Edition1643
SeriesEarly English books online text creation partnership.
Additional notes

(EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A84909)

Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 155776)

Images scanned from microfilm: (Thomason Tracts ; 16:E93[20])

About the source text

Bibliographic informationThe French mountebank, or An operator fit for these present times. Being a man of great travell and experience throughout most countries in Christendome, and to the great comfort and happinesse of this kingdome lately come to town, and is ready to shew himselfe a man of skill, in all particulars hereafter mentioned, to the distressed rich for their money, and to the poor for Gods sake. [8] p. Printed for R. Austin, and A. Coe,London :1643.. (Annotation on Thomason copy: "1642 March. 21".) (Reproduction of the original in the British Library.)
Languageeng
Classification
  • Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Humor -- Early works to 1800.

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Publisher
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ImprintAnn Arbor, MI ; Oxford (UK) : 2014-11 (EEBO-TCP Phase 2).
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  • DLPS A84909
  • STC Wing F2190
  • STC Thomason E93_20
  • STC ESTC R11335
  • EEBO-CITATION 99858997
  • PROQUEST 99858997
  • VID 155776
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