HOw fareſt thou Benedict?

Father Pope, how can I doe otherwiſe then well, ha­ving ſo many handſome, curious com­pleat and beautifull Nuns in my Cloy­ſter?

Why, haſt thou ſo good em­ployment there?

I have the rareſt, neateſt and compleateſt ſhriving, that ſince Saint Dunſtans time there hath not beene bet­ter.

Doe they confeſſe well?

Confeſſe well! I and hang well, I mean their Beads about their necks: Oh, were you but in my place, you would exchange three Crownes for a Fryerſhip.

I was a Fryer one time, and then I had ſuch employment, which to thinke of almoſt makes me out of my wits.

I hope not ſo.

Yes, that I am.

Your reaſon for't?

O my brave Fryer, becauſe I have no ſuch employment now.

Faith Sir, I thinke that your Siſter Pope Ioane had ſo much, that never a Pope ſince could get any.

No! by Saint Peters Chaire you have the onely time of it now.

Wee Fryers and Jeſuites are bound to thank your Holineſſes Par­dons for't.

But (I hope) you will let me part ſtake with you ſometimes.

As for my part, you never found, me backward.

I muſt confeſſe I have not ▪ but faith tell me Benedict, how many Pardons haſt thou bought of mee this yeare;

Truly, I muſt confeſſe I have bought but few, but you have given mee many; I would two or three of my friends in England had had ſome of them.

Why be there any there which ſtand in need of them?

There was a good man as I heard lately was like to take accquaintance wiih a thing cal'd Tiburne without one.

They would not dare to doe it ſure.

What is that they dare not to doe? Faith, in a ſmall time you are like to have very few friends there.

Why, what's the reaſon?

Becauſe they are like to returne all home unto Rome againe.

What! before they have done any good there?

They were in very faire way once; but now the times are altered, Fidlers goe a begging.

Thoſe which were the cauſe of it, I thus curſe them with Bell, Booke, and Candle, Candle, Booke, and Bell, backewardes and forewardes unto Hell.

But they are ſo much bleſt in a Parliament, that I doubt me your cur­ſes will doe them very little harme.

No! for that word ſaucy Fry­er I curſe thee: had I my will in Eng­land, I would make the proudeſt of them all ſtand in feare of my curſe.

As for your curſing me I care not; but as for getting any will there, you are like to come far ſhort.

Baſe Varlet; what! turn'd He­retique?

Whether I am turn'd Heretique I cannot tell; but that of late I am turn'd Chriſtian I can aſſure you.

O that I had a Croſſe, or ſome Holy-water to defend me from thee.

O that thy Croſſes with a rope were hung about thy neck, to defend all the world from thee, who by thy baſe inventions haſt hitherto cheated the whole earth.

O intollerable audacity! I am not able to forbeare.

You meane the whole World, through your vaine and deceitfull ficti­ons.

I am mad.

You may very well be ſo, for Pardons are like to be ſold at a very low market now; becauſe no body will buy them; men have learned wit to love money more then the Pope, in time I beleeve you will play a part of the broken Citizen, and ſo ſhut up ſhop.

O intollerable! thus to be deri­ded by one of my owne Livery!

You are much deceiv'd Sir, time was wherein I did weare it; but ſince I have found ſo much knavery to lye hid in your Pope-ſhips boſome, I ſhooke it off.

And have you forgot your ho­neſt ſhrieving of Nuns?

You are miſtaken in me, you thinke me to be one of Pope Ioan's or­der, which is a vice too many of you Popes and Cardinalls have beene given to, I will not excuſe the neat Cardinall in France from it.

Villaine, what didſt thou ever ſee by me or any of mine?

Ile tell you in plaine termes Mr. Vicar Divell, reverend Pope (I would have ſaid) you are Governour of a hell of miſchiefe; you have made Rome, which once was a place of great renowne, row nought but a ſincke of wickedneſſe; inſtead of Pietie and good Religion, you plant errors and ſchiſme through the whole World, you cozen Soules of Heaven, by blin­ding them with your Croſſes upon earth? what is it which makes ſo many halt betwixt two opinions, but your Popiſh damnable plots?

Goe on I pray, I doe intend to heare thee patiently, and anſwer thee with verity.

How can the Prince of lyes ſpeake truth.

Why, doſt thou take me to be the Prince of lyes?

If I ſhould ſay I did not, I ſhould prove my ſelfe to be a diſſem­bler like thy ſelfe.

Then you hold me to be adiſ­ſembler.

More, Ile ſweare thee to bee one: how oft haſt thou beene guiltie of mens blood? how many Chriſtians by thee have beene tortured? whom before their torments thou haſt ſmil'd and laught on? How many cups of ve­nomous poyſon haſt thou preſented unto Kings for mornings draughts? whom not long before thou haſt pro­claymed to be thy friends: but this you will ſay is no diſſembling, this you doe onely in love, becauſe they ſhould not indure any more miſeries of this World: indeed, this is true Popiſh Piety.

Good Ben, ſay no more, and as for what thou haſt ſaid I freely pardon.

This is another Popes tricke; what he cannot by threatning, he en­deavours through cogging to obtaine. I am reſolv'd Mr. Pope to leave you, and your ſuperſtitious crew to your great Grand-father Pluto, to whom I know you ſhall in time be made very welcome: your ſeven horn'd Beaſt will wait upon you when you pleaſe, and will carry you with a great celerity.

You intend to leave me then and be gone?

Yes faith, I am now quite wea­ry of wearing Romiſh ſheckles or Croſſes, which you pleaſe.

And whither I pray doe you in­tend to take your journey?

Where I am ſure you dare not follow me, it is to England.

Time hath beene Sirrah, that I have had power enough thereto ſcourge the proudeſt Heretique in the World, and may in time againe doe the like.

That time will be (I beleeve) when the Devill and you are both ho­neſt together; and that I thinke will ſcarce be in haſt.

I had hopes enough lately of it.

Not of being honeſt I beleeve.

I ſay that I had hope lately to get dominion in England.

Indeed I did underſtand by ſome of your friends, that through Jeſuiti­call Plots, and Projectors knavery for a time you have got a finger there: but now as I heare, that finger is like to bee cut off, not without ſome heads.

They dare not doe it.

Yes, and yours too, were it there; which I dare be bold you will not goe venture for the gaining of ano­ther Saint Peters Chaire, Keyes and all.

Thou talk'ſt like one of a ſhal­low braine; it is an impoſſible thing but that I ſhould have a friend in Eng­land, although perhaps they dare not openly confeſſe themſelves ſo to bee; yet ſo long as England ſtands they will (like to the Preciſians) be read in a ſmall Geneva Print.

What you meane by Geneva Print I cannot tell; but their laſt im­preſſion I beleeve will be cal'd in at Ty­burne.

Tyburne! what's that?

A place where many of your former friends (the cart being ready to drive away) cryed a pox take the Pope for bringing them thither.

What, and have had our Par­don?

Faith your Pardons there are not worth the third part of a Peters-penny: witneſſe your Gun-powder Merchants which cut capers nine foot high, and never came downe againe till they were cut downe: if their heads could have got to Rome, they would have told you as much; your high di­velliſh Court of Cardinalls could not keepe them from it.

They were happy in their deaths, becauſe they died true Martyrs.

For my part, I deſire no ſuch Martyrdom: if hanging for high trea­ſon be counted Martyrdom; I beleeve before twenty years be expired, there will be Martyrs enough in England.

Puſh, I have a bird or two there which will prevent ſuch matters.

As for one of your Birds, I heare he is flowne, and ſo eſcaped a Cage, and the other would bee gone, if that its wings were not cut.

Better flye then dye, inſomuch as in a time of need, one paire of leggs are worth two paire of hands.

But I had almoſt forgot to tell you one thing.

What's that?

Tis thus, you muſt very ſpeedi­ly either ſend very loving Letters or very well twiſted ropes into England.

To whom there?

To your Ieſuiticall Friends to deſire them with all their co-part­ners to returne ſpeedily to Rome.

But why ſhould I ſend ropes?

To ſave England the charges of buying ropes to hang them which tar­ry behind, and you would doe very well to invite ſome Engliſh Projectors over to you, they can get you more by Tobacco, Sope and Wines, then the beſt Jeſuite in Rome by Holy-waters, Peter-pence or Croſſes: but you muſt ſend quickly, leſt Shrove-Tueſday pre­vent you.

I wiſh them no worſe harme then to be with me.

Faith, nor I neither, for I think that would be harme enough in con­ſcience, they would miſſe Silla to fall into Charibdis: for I hold it better to be hang'd in England, then to live in Rome, for Tiburn oft converts ſoules, but Rome conſtantly makes them worſe and worſe.

For this blaſphemous ſaying (baſe Varlet) thy Soule ſhall never come out of Purgatory, but alwayes remaine there,

How like you this Father Pope; you ſee I care little, for your vain fi­ctious place of Purgatory.

The time will come (ſirrah) you ſhall care for it, when as you are bar'd from S. Peters Key.

Truly Sir. I beleeve it is ſo long ſince you opened Heaven gate, that I beleeve your Key is growne ruſty,

Ile ſ••nd my breath on thee no longer, except it be openly to curſe thee; wherefore fare thee well in the Divels name.