Hinds Elder Brother, or the Maſter-Thief diſcovered, being a pithy relation of the life of Major Thomas Knowls, his many eſcapes, cheats, and witty Robberies.
Of his Birth and Education.
THe greateſt certainty of the place of his Birth, is to moſt uncertain, he not being able to give any exact account by reaſon his Parents died ſo much in his minority, but left to the care of ſome friends in Lealand Pariſh in Lancaſhire, which care of theirs extended it ſelf to nothing more then how to be rid of him, which he to their deſires effected in the age of fourteen coming here to London, where he had not been many dayes a2 mendicant, but he is entertained by Punteus the Mountebank, who then was newly come into England.
Of his ſerving the Mountebank
HE had not long been with the Mountebank (but a witty rogue) he was ſo dexterous grown in his profeſſion, that he added much to the Sale of his Maſters Antidotes, by his witty Jeſts, Boufooniſh behaviour, and nimble vaultings, ſo that he became chief man to Punteus, and who is the Gentleman now, but Mr. Johan a pudding.
Of his curing an Ʋſurer of the Toothach.
A Rich Uſurer being much tormented with the Toothach and not willing to be at too much Charge in procuring his Eaſe, came to Mr. Punteus his Lodging, thinking to have his cure for little or nothing, (by reaſon that Punteus drew many poor mens teeth that were afflicted out of charity) and enquiring for the French Doctor of the Maid of the houſe, ſhe preſently goes up to the Chamber, where ſhe finds Knowls and his Comrade fitting themſelves with falſe Beards, and Antick apparrel for the next dayes ſhow, ſhe acquaints them, that there was an Uſurer at the door to ſpeak with their Maſter, and as ſhe thought by the muffling of his Chops to have ſome3 Remedy for his teeth, whereupon Knowls cryes out to his Comrade, a priſe, now off with this party coloured Coat, Give me my Maſters Gown, faſten m•on that black Beard, ſtand bare, and keeping your countenance call up the Uſurer, up comes the Patient relates his malady, and as a poor man invokes a remedy, which Knowls out ſuppoſed Punteus, ſayes he will apply his beſt skill for Gods ſake, and ſetting the Uſurer down, views his tooth, and ſayes I ſhall do the cure, but you muſt have a little patience, for it is a very forked one; his man imployed his time ſo well, that whiles Knowls pulled out the tooth, he pulled out of his pocket a Cats skin Purſe with twenty nine pounds, two Rings, and a Watch. The Cure being effected, Knowls demands ſomething for his pains, the Uſurer replies, (the Maid being by) with an Oath that he had not one penny, nor the value about him of one farthing, nay ſayes Knowls, ſince you ſwear before witneſſe, I am content, God ſpeed you well, and ſo departs my Uſurer, little thinking Knowls had been ſo well paid.
How Knowls robbed the Scotch Commiſsioners, when they lay at Somerſet Houſe.
KNowls having a great deſire to finger ſome of the Scoth Commiſſioners money, by reaſon he had heard they had received abundance, though for a little deſert, either in them or their Army. He plots many wayes, but none takes effect; at laſt he takes a ſhoulder Trumpet, flings it under his Cloak, he being in black, very neat, more like a Scotch Laird then a Trumpeter, and away he marches to the Gate, where he finds ſeverall Trumpeters, Waits, and others at Puſh a Pike with the Porter, who valiantly defended himſelf in the behalf of his Lairds Pouch, Knowls makes his approach, ſaying, how now honeſt Porter, What are theſe fellows, Fools or Fidlers? O my Saul are they, quoth the Porter, wad yeer gude worſhip ſpeak wi my Lord, yes quoth Knowls, I have affairs of importance to comunicate to thy Lord; mary and yee een ſall ple•ſe yeer gude worſhip to gang along wi me, ſo with that, in enters Knowls with the Porter, who goes and acquaints his Lord, the Lord Lowden, that there was a Gentleman to ſpeak with his Honor. Lowden comes into the•ining Room; where he finds Knowls attending: who addreſſes himſelf unto my Lord Commiſſioner, ſaying, my Lord, I am Maſter Trumpeter to the Navy, under the Command of5 Earl of Warwick and being ſent hither to furniſh the Fleet with Trumpets, I am charged by the Earl who lies now upon the Downs to ſalute your Honours, in troth Sir, replyes Lowden, I am een blyth to hear his Lordſhip is in gude health, calling to his Porter, ſaying, Saundy, gar Jeamy give this Gentleman forty Shillings, and with a Congee departs into his Chamber, the Servants being affrighted at the unwelcome Gueſt they had brought their Lord, ſome runs one way ſome another, leaving Knowls alone in the dining room, who in a moment diſmantles the cupboard of a large quantity of Plate being fled before the Porter or Jeamy could come with the forty ſhillings, who upon their finding the plate gone, cryed out to a wofull Tune O Black day, the falſe Lown has beguiled us aw, little wiſt I I quoth the porter, that his Worſhip was a piper: the Dell blaw's Baggs, mi Livings gene, but the tumults continued ſo long amongſt the Bullies, that Knowls had convenient time to eſcape.
How Knowls left his Majer the Mountebank, turned Cutter and robbed Hind.
KNowls having a deſire no longer to be a ſervant, if he could deviſe any how to live a Maſter, and having gained a pretty ſumme under the Mountebank, he takes his leave of him, and reſolves to live a brother of the Blade, huyes him a pretty highway Nag, a good Sword and Caſe of private Piſtolls (away goes my Friend to the Road) and now Gentlemen beware your Portmantles) many exploits our Mounſieur Abbot playes, for ſo he is called now) in Lincoln ſhire Notingham and other places, and one night coming into the Lion Inne at Worſhip, eight miles from Mansfield, the Hoſtler takes his Horſe, he paſſes under the notion of a Graſier, and is by the ſaid Hoſtler ſet to Hind (for one that was poſſeſt with a good round ſumme) that night they ſupped together, being ignorant one of the others Calling, the next day in Welbeck Foreſt Hind overtakes our Mounſieur, claps a plſtol to his breaſt, wiſhing him immediately to deliver his purſe, or life and purſe together, Knowls ſeing death at the Collar of his Doublet, wiſely replyes, in faith Sir, I have a ſumme of money about me, which I do not value near comparable with my life, therefore here take it, delivering to Hind a leather Bag, with fourſcore and od pounds in it, and Sir, believe me,7 Since you have done ſo gallantly, as to adventure a••••upon me I ſwear to you, I will never proſecute you, therefore, never ſhun me, whereſoever you ſee me, and riding on together, a little along the Foreſt, he ſayes, being in diſcourſe, I pray Sir tell me one t•ing, Hind replying, ſaid he would, then ſayes Knowls, pray you had you any thing in that piſtoll you clapt to my Breaſt, or did you it to affright me, nay ſayes Hind, God damne me, it is charged with a Brace of Bullets, and thereupon ſlaps off his piſtoll, which Knowls perceiving, claps one of his to Hinds throat, ſaying, now return back my money with wh•t addition you can make of your own, or by Jove you die, ſo he diſmantled Mr. Hind of all his money riding away crying, farewell younger Brother.
How Knowls being brought a Priſoner in the Habit of a Parſon to White Hall made his Eſcape.
KNowls being taken by one of the Thieftakers about this Town, was brought to White Hall, and7 there upon the Guard ſecured that night, the next day ſecured in a Chamber, having two Souldiers Sentries upon him, ſhortly after being examined, he was asked what made him aſſume that Habit, being he could neither write nor read, he replyed the rather becauſe he thought no man would ſuſpect an illiterate man in ſuch a Coat, and after ſome queſtions he was remanded back to the ſaid Cuſtody, where after liberally giving all ſorts of Liquours to the two Souldiers his Guard, he ſeeing them in a merry mood, thus began to ſpeak, dear Comrades and fellow Souldiers, you may perceive, this is onely through malice, that I am here a Priſoner, Since I have never done any thing againſt the State, yet there is one thing vexeth me to the Soul, what is that Maiſter anſwered the Souldiers, marry quoth Knowls, I have fifty pounds in the hands of the man that keepeth the Leg in the pallace yard, and I would willingly give ten pounds to a good fellow, that I had it here, one of the Souldiers replies, Sir I will fetch it you with a good will, nay nay,8 ſayes Knowls, that cannot be, for he will not give it to any body but my ſelf, yet I can tell you what we may do, one of you put on my Habit here, and I will put on your Red Coat and Bandileers, the other take his Muſquet, and go along with me, and ſo in leſſe then half an hour, we will be back with the money, and I will give you five pounds apiece for your pains, the matter being thus carryed, you can no wayes be found in blame, this conceit takes, away marches Knowls and one of the Souldiers, the other lies down upon the bed in his Parſons weed, they march to Weſtminſter, come into the Legge, call for a pot of Ale, which is brought them, Knowls he demands for the Maſter of the Houſe, who comes immediately, he takes him aſide, whiſpers him in the Ear, thruſting half a Crown in his hand, ſaying, Sir, I would not that my Comrade ſhould know I have any money, but whilſt we drink, pay your ſelf out of this, and ſaying, ſhall it be ſo carryed, the man of the Houſe not ſuſpecting any thing, replyies aloud, you ſhall10 you ſhall Sir, and ſo departs the Roome, Knowls turns to the Souldier, come Brother, let us drink one half dozen, and by that time the money will be told out, further ſaying, truly this man of the Houſe is a very honeſt man, now by that time they had drunk four or five pots, the Souldier begins to ask why the Maſter of the Houſe came not his way, Knowls having the Pot of Ale in his hand, ſuddenly flings the pot violently in the ſouldiers face, knocking him down, crying aloud, Villain doſt thou ſay, my Captain is a Coward, I would have thee know, I have ſo much of a ſouldier in me, that Ile die before I hear my Officer abuſed, but Ile have the Corporall to fetch thee to the Guard with a Pox, and ſo running out of the houſe, before the ſouldier recovered Knowls had croſſed the water, and ſo clearly eſcaped.
How Knowls being Captain of the Pioners to the Scotch Army eſcaped from VVorceſter.
KNowls having Command of the Pio•ers at Worceſter, upon their being routed he calls to him one of the C•untrey-men which he had preſt for a pioner not many days before, and one whom he had noted to bee a monſtrous ſilly fellow, ſaying, alas for you poor hearts, for you will have no quarter, the enemy ſaves none but officers, upon which words the fellow was ready to ſink, but Knowls ſayes come courage, give me thy Pickax and Caſſock, and here take my Sword, Buff Coat, and Hat, and I will run for it, for I am lighter of foot then thou art, whereupon they change and by that means Knowls eſcapes the Parliaments forces entring the Town, ſome Troops enters the houſe where this Country man was who preſently cryes out, ſave my life Gentlemen, for I am Major Knowls, Captain of the Pioners, I quoth the ſoldier I will give you quarter, but I will pay your skin for a tumbling rogue, and knockt him ſoundly, ſtript him naked, and turned him amongſt the reſt of the priſoners.