Hampton-Court CONSPIRACY, WITH The Dovvnfall of the Agitators and Levellers, who would admit no diſtinction of Birth or Tittle, and out of the Lands of the whole Kingdome in Generall would proportion an equal Eſtate to every man in particular.
TOGETHER With the horrid reſolution of one George Greenland Corporal, who in the ſpace of three dayes did undertake to murder his Majeſty at Hampton-Court.
Printed in the Yeare 1647:
WHat are now become of our Mountebank Horſe-Doctors the Agitators, who have ſo long made both Houſes houſe of Offices for evacuations and purges; the only Wiſe men to ſtate the caſe of the kingdome, or to uncaſe it into ſtates; Whoſe Dictates were more then Documents, and Propoſalls Impoſals, beſpeaking both Speakers ſilent, making a younger brother of our Parliament, in bequeathing unto it one of their party-colour'd Coats, not ſo much for a badge of diviſion, as that each ſpot of knavery might have its ſplendor, and ſo become the leſſe blemiſh, but becauſe of its long dreaming have left in the pit of diſpaire?
Sir theſe Agitating Anthonyes of our time I beleeve have made ſo many interrogatives of the Prerogative, that it is a hard queſtion to reſolve whither the devill hath carryed them by the ſpirit of a Propoſall: Report beſpeakes them voted back to their ſeverall charges, that is devoted or conſecrated to the charge of the kingdome; perhaps the devill hath carryed them to the Spittle pinnacle, for not long agoe ſome of them with their animall agents were ſeen there to over-looke the kingdomes of the world, and the glory of them, which appeared (for one inſtance) in a Comfit-maker (who ſtood upon a bench2 dreſſing Sweet-meates for them like mad, and indeed the Siſters gapt upon him as if they wanted ſugar plumbs) but to the poynt, this fellow told them that it was revealed unto him out of the Revelations, that twenty years hence at fartheſt, the Saints ſhall begin their raigne of a thouſand years; and that text that the meeke ſhall inherit the earth; did wrap him up in ſuch a high ſphear of ſpirituall ſolace and jocanty, that he deſpiſe all worldly comfort making; but obſerve whether amongſt theſe Levellers, there was not the very forme and matter of a conventice Conſpiracy againſt Hampton Court, or the King of it; for they gathered hands to begin to make plaine the high-way of our Lord King Charles; their argument was, that the Creator is no reſpecter of perſons; Ergo, why ſhould the creature, wherefore wee will leave Hampton-Court with my Siſter Hannas Kitchin, the people choſe the King, Ergo, why ſhould we not chuſe whether we will have a King or noe. Theſe plots of high concernment were agitated belowe ſtaires, in alluſion to the powder plot, above ſtaires they whimperd out freewill, which intimated their inherent ability to act theſe good works, and ſweet roguries. From all which I infer that the Scribes, Phariſes, Hypocrites, inſtead of paying Tribute to Caeſar, would have him pay Tribute to their Tub tribunals, to bequeath his head to the wiſe Agitators, his body to the liberty of the ſubject, and ſo he may become, if not a Saint a Separatiſt; which if they can accompliſh it will probably prognoſtick that theſe Saints ſhall be ſoveraignes.
But what is it that terminates their deſigne?
Firſt a confuſion of King and Court. Secondly a concuſſion or knocking together the ſimple noddels of the vulgar into a community untill they run all horne mad. For the firſt they have the Popes Bull, to wit Mr. Peters, who muſt roare the Catholick Commonality out of Allegiance, into the coxcomb community of ſublunary creatures; who of late hath converted his Apoſtolicall keyes into3 putry padlocks, perſwading his Majeſty it is the narrow way to heaven to be ſhut up cloſe, whiles himſelfe holds riding about like an Itinerary Miniſter, as the juſt right of liberty of Conſcience, prohibiting ſome purblind Presbiters into divine Poſt boyes. The divine Dell, and Peters the other day opened their mouth, and the devill ſpit in them, and they ſpake ſaying, the King was but as a dead dog; which interpreted, is he ſhal live no longer as a man; Rabſhekah was a royaliſt to theſe rogues, was ever ſuch pulpit puppies ſeen or heard of in this univerſe, that ſnarled at his ſoveraigne as a Dog. I know not whether it bee the common prayers to puniſh ſuch prodigious Prophets, but I am ſure it is divine ſervice to hang them.
2. For the ſecond they plead the old cuſtome in the nonage of times, and as King Pinus was ſaid when the firſt that conſtituted confines and ordained bounds, ſo theſe Pinnies wil begin anew (becauſe al things but of that are become new) to be boundleſſe all things are to be common to the outward and inward man, and nothing proper unleſſe it be to propagate a poſterity out of their neighbours wifes propriſty; now I muſt want a ſhare in a ſiſters dowry, whether it be copy hold Land, or to be tenant intale, each Citizen muſt proclaime himſelfe a Coukcold and his wife a Concubine, and farewell all private devotin in mine Vncles counting-houſe thirty pounds a yeare ſhal he diſtributive juſtice to thoſe that had juſt nothing afore, towards the execution of which at large, they ſhut up my Lord Mayor and his brethren, converting their gold chains into ſilver mint.
And theſe Agitators the no more ring leaders to this Conſpiracy?
For ſome of Putney prerogative would willingly change the yeare of King Charles his raigne into the yeare of his ruine.
Amongſt whom, if he be not converted, I may reckon one almoſt omnipotent, a Oliver who hath cut more croſs capers then them all, whoſe private ſpirit breaths negatives and affirmatives instanti, in an inſtant. Firſt he affirme that the religious Army will proſtrate their Armes at the Parliaments feet, at the leaſt beck of intimation; then ſpurrecuts to the Army, and gives them a negative Nod to forbeare disbanding on pain of perſecution. Another time perſwades the Houſe to commit Sir Thomas his Commiſſion, becauſe hee thought King was a little above Charls Steuart, and therefore not liable to the lamentable reſult of a petty paper plodding Committee, but timely intelligence very excellently forewarning his Excellence, hee made a halt at the Houſe doore, and ſent his Commiſſion to a Court of guard to be tyed neck and heeles from their clutches, wherefore Oliver croſt a caper, and bid his Excellence to conceale it, to maintaine his march, for the houſe lay in Ambuſcado.
Yet he doth not run paralel with an Agitator.
For then he ſhould be a Leveller, I ſuppoſe he is rather a Reveller, for Crumwell hath ſo well pickt up his crums from under the late well ſpread table of the Common-wealth, that now he would ſit at the upper end of the board, the Sir Anthonyes being but the dogges of his flock (as Peters his puppy dog only for his bravado barking) who gaine a few fragments by the way of ſnapping. Had it not been for his Iron-ſides the other day, his ribs had payed Tribute to Caeſar, for being rul'd by Endimion Ireton in the behalfe of a little piece of his Majeſties Prerogative.
Neither is Crumwell ſuch an al cruſty condition'd fellow as I tooke him for.
For I conjecture that he would willingly preſerve the Prerogative ſo it were in the ſalt pichle of Independency. 5The other day he made a very canonicall condemnatory ſpeech, to ſtop the careere of the Hobby-horſmen of Iſrael; biding of them ſhew their faith by their workes, or ſound a retreat to their ſeverall Regiments, and do nothing at all, for they ought to be under Government and not over it. Concerning which (to erre a little with the brethren) I heard a diſpute at the ſpirituall Spittle, one propounded his argument thus, if the honourable and free-born people of England, be the Foundation and groundwork of Government, it is requiſite they ſhould Governe: but they are, Ergo, what are Kings, Princes, and Potentates? only the ſpecious ſuperſtructure which we ſupport, Ergo, wee are the principle, which duly conſidered is a very fundamentall poynt; the Fabrick ought to be inferiour to the fundament or foundation, by which locall rule of contraryes, the talle ſhall dictate to the head, the breeches to the brainepan: and ſo bee right ſir Animall Agitators.
Then Siſters ſhall ſucceed Senators, and ride to Weſtminſter.
What a pretty condition ſhould we be in, if this Spittle ſhould bee ſuper-ſteeple predominant over all our Synagogues.
Surely chimney-Churches would ſmoake us out of the Temple, but themſelves in that thick ſpirit would mount to the ſpirits that rule in the ayre, for they are deviliſh children of diſobedience. What is all this but a meere Ieſuiticall jugling againſt the poore King of Hampton-Court, and Kirke.
It is ſo. Did not the Agitators come to puſh of pike with him in his forc'd retreat? very probably they ſhewed him the poynt of death, & would have forc'd it upon him as a main point of their Doctrine, though the devills Ʋſe. O brave St. Authonies fire of zeale, muſt the King not only be confined, but confounded, is it all one to carry him to his throne, and to goe about to cut his throat? O high and mighty Propoſals to the now, if you pleaſe freely begot people of England (for cummune being bonum, it is fitting all things ſhould be common) wherein every lamentable letter ſpeaks a premunire to the Prerogative, and ſeems to cruſh the Crowne-beneath the foot-ſtoole of a Cobler, tranſlating his perſon by underlaying into the ſimilitude of a Saint.
Theſe Traytors of our age, or Agitators in their laſt6 fire-work to the Army, let off a Cracker with noyſe that they with their fellow ſouldiers did and ſhould do the Parliament as much ſervice by diſobedience as obedience.
That is as well by not disbanding when they commanded, as by banding together againſt the Lord and his Anointed when they deſired, (which may bee an Oracle, though not of Apollo, yet of a pox of them, the ſhakers whoſe ſpirits are familiar with the devill) portending thoſe that raiſed this Parliament ſhall ruine it, or ſhake it into ſhivers, or ſhite it away by fanatick fluxing.
It is a great queſtion what an Agitator means; therfore tell me.
I will nominate ſome ſeverall ſignifications that the the word carryes, which much relates their antick or rather Antinomian actions. Firſt it ſignifies a toſſen; and what is the kingdome now but a Tenniſcourt, and his Majeſty the ball banded about with the roguiſh rackt of roundheadiſme, and often hazarded to deſtruction; looke from Dan to Berſheba, and you ſhall ſee ſuch toſſing the Independent petticoats for free quarter, and ſuch toſſe potting to credit the Publick Faith; that doubtles ſhortly all things muſt be common, and then this laſt age ſhall be exalted above the firſt becauſe of hornes, and Couckolds will be a cuſtome if not canonicall.
Secondld, Sir Anthony Agitator ſignifies a driver of a cart or beaſt; and now are not Carremen, nay the very carriage of men become Kings, who drive the Cart of the Common-wealth into the deep ditch of deſolation, crying high gee ho, both to God and the Goſpell, laſhing the poore commonalty with twiſted cords of conſpiracy.
Thirdly to agitate ſignifies to prick or compell; do not they prick forwarde Community for all commodities, pull up the hedge of honeſty from their Neighbours piece of ground; thinking it too much modeſty for a Saint to cover a ſin.
Fourthly, ſuriae ſagitant improbas, it ſignifies to torment; and did not theſe Tinkerly Traytors terrifie the people with the ſound of their kettledrums: nay they have now made the addle headed multitude uncapable of their Amſterdam, and animall alarums: from whence in fine, I define an Agitator to be an arch Tub Traytor of this age whom the Divel lately toſſed out of the bottomleſſe pit to drive on his deſinges, prick Principalities, and torment the times.
(EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A87061)
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