A LETTER Sent to George Wither, Poetica licentia Eſquire, by a plain dealing friend of his to prevent his future Pſeudography. Printed By Benevol. Typographus, ſometimes Printer to the ſaid Maſter Wither. Publiſhed For the better information of ſuch who by his perpetuall ſcribling have been ſcrewed into an opinion of his worth, and good affection to the publick. And are to be ſold By the Cryers of new, new, new, and true newes in all the ſtreets of London. 1646.

FOR ſo give me leave to tearme you, having not been till of late, much eſtranged from you ſince you lived in the Biſhoprick of Durham, when ſhe lived there alſo which now is your wife, but then wife to a poore man in London, who by report periſhed for want of bread.

Having peruſed divers of your ſcandalous Pamphlets, and Satyricall times which I find moſt ridiculous, vaingloriouſly applauding your own valour, good affection, and merit, and injuriouſly aſperſing di­vers noble Gentlemen of known integrity and fidelity, nay abuſing many famous and truſty worthy Members of this ever to be honoured Parliament, I thought fit to preſent you with theſe lines, (if poſſible) to prevent your future Scribling, and being ſtigmatized, at leaſt with the name of lying and Scandalizing, Bard.

It hath been a maxime that whoſoever chanted his own praiſes was2 was a fool, though deſerved, what then muſt he be that exalteth him­ſelf ſo much (as you do) without any merit? As for the unparaleld valour heroick Acts, and martiall atchievements, you ſeem to chal­lenge to your ſelf, (in your book entituled Campo Muſa) all men that know you conceive your braines are infatuated with hopes of being thereby made Governour of ſome Caſtle in the ayre, or elſe you would have declared ſo much at Barmodus, or ſome place, where every man that knew you did not know the contrary, but if you are ſo bewitch­ed as to conceive you have valour, or have done any thing in Armes worthy of a Lawrell Crown, I ſhall endeavour to liberate you from thoſe char••es by declaring truly how you were admitted unto Arms and how you uſed them during your ſhort continuance in them.

You cannot but remember that when theſe unhappy diſtractions did firſt commence, the King had diſerted the Parliament, and the ſword began to be unſheathed, that you having no land of your own, lived a poore Tenant to certaine Lands at Wanborough in Surrey, when in my op•nion your Ruſſet coat did better ſuit your condition and quali­ty then the Scarlet, Pluſh, and Velvet, you are now by the fortune of the Warres leaped into.

At that time there being a Troop of Horſe raiſed in that County for the ſervice of the Parliament, the truly worthy Gentlemen intruſted by the Parlia with that county (whom I may truly call the preſervers & deliverers of their country) for had it not〈◊〉for their perilous un­dertakings, and moſt indefatigable endeavours, that County had been made long ere this the Subject of the Enemies fury, and utterly ruined by plunder, fire and ſword, as to their eternall honour, all the honeſt inhabitants will acknowledge.

Theſe Worthies I ſay eſteeming by an outward appearance to have a good affection to the Cauſe they ſo faithfully proſecuted, did (con­trary to the motion of many well affected, honeſt and Religious men who had more nearly ſcrutinized your actions, and made diſcovery of your ſelf ends) conferre the command of that Troop upon you.

Being thus mounted in Authority, the firſt martiall employment you were put upon, was to march into Kent, to ſecure the Malignants there from attempting any thing in prejudice of the State, which ſervice (to your eternall fame be it ſpoken) you performed with ſuch alacrity, that in ſhort time you ſecured moſt of their good Horſes, by ſeizing them3 into your cuſtodie, and appropriating them unto your ſelf, ſo that your Farm at Wanborough was now well ſtocked with brave horſes, your Lady like Miſtris had a galla•t white Palfray to mount her ſelf on and a ſtately gelding for her man in a Livery to attend her, now the world began to mend with you in ſight.

Your ſecond Martiall employment was to keep Farnham Caſtle that the Enemy ſhould not poſſeſſe themſelves thereof, where immedi­ately you grew ſuch a Graduate in military affairs, that in your Pam­phlet entituled Se defendendo, you accuſe thoſe worthy Patriots before mentioned, that they neglected to ſupply you with neceſſaries for the making of Baricadoes, Paliſadoes, and other defences, but give me leave to digreſſe a little & tel you a ſtory of a ſick man that ſent for a Phyſician, who coming to him, the ſick man asked him what his diſ­eaſe was, the Phyſician anſwered that it was Flatus Hypocondriacus that tormented him, afterwards ſome of the ſick mans friends coming to viſit him, asked him what was the cauſe of his malady, the ſick man not knowing his diſeaſe told them he was very ſick of a hard word; ſo you had borrowed ſome hard words as Paliſadoes and the reſt, out of ſome hiſtory of Warre, for at that time I am certain, you neither knew what they were nor the uſe of them, nay ſuch a novice were you in Armes that you ſcarce knew how to ſpanne a Piſtoll, or being ſpan­ned to fire him.

It was not long after when the King marching towards London, with His Army, you with your Troope were〈◊〉Supreme Authority commanded to Kingſton upon Thames, and from thence the Kings Forces advancing as farre as Brainford, you were ordered to march by London to joyn with my Lord Generalls Forces at Turnham green, but hic dolor now were you to come near an Enemy. Oh what a hard matter it was to get you out of London, but being come thither what•n agonie were you in, ſome of your Souldiers ſuppoſed you were in the cold fit of a Feaver, others feared you were troubled with the paſſion of the heart: but the Enemy retreating to the other ſide of the Thames, did ſomething mitigate your paſſion, and reſtore you to your almoſt loſt ſences.

The next newes I heard of your Troop, was when Prince Rupert beat up their quarters at Crowell near Chinnar and did ſome hurt there­to, although the Souldiers made a reaſonable good eſcape; yet the4 Generall Officers, demanding where the Captain was, and why he was not more carefull in keeping Scouts abroad, his Souldiers were in­forced to anſwer that they had not ſeen their Captain a long time, for indeed you had at that time ſecured your perſon for many moneths, ſometimes in Surrey, and ſometimes at the Queens Armes at Holborn bridge.

The next and laſt of your warlick imployments was to march with my Lord Generall to the relief of Gloceſter in which march were many remarkable paſſages; firſt to ſee how like a magnanimous and undanted Ach•lles you marched every day in the head of your Troop, untill you approached ſomething near the Enemies quarters, but ah! then the old Tremor cordis, the old pannick feare began to ſeize you, then every object that your d•m ſight could reach was a Cavalier, then would you often put your forefinger to your thumb, and looking through perſpective wife, could you diſcern a tree at any diſtance, you apprehended it to be one of the Enemies Scouts, or if you diſcovered many buſhes together, you fancied them to be a Body of Horſe, and would not advance one foot, till having ſent out divers Scouts for diſ­covery, they upon return gave you aſſurance that they were not ene­mies then would you again begin to march, and your Souldiers to laugh, and ſcoffe at your cowardiſe. The Kings forces riſing from Glo­cester and the place ſufficiently relieved, both Armies endeavouring to gain advantage to give the other battell, you being thus daily ala­rum'd with terror, and ambuſcadoed wit frights, to prevent your own engagement, tamely delivered up your Commiſſion, yet durſt not go from the protection of the Army till you came nearer home; but by the way a skirmiſh happening at Aburn Chaſe, you poſled to a kinſ­womans houſe of yours not farre off, where by report you crept into a hogges-ſtye, and (the skirmiſh ended) to prevent future frights, ha­ſtily conveyed your ſelf to your Farm at Wanborough, where two dayes after, you heard the great Guns play, which was at the fight at New­bury, and (ſuppoſing it to be what indeed it was) told your wiſe that God had exceedingly bleſſed you, that you were not there, for had you been, you ſhould have been killed in regard your eye-ſight was ſo bad you ſhould not have known a friend from a ſoe, nor have been able to make an eſcape: and this is the ſummary of your Martiall Acts, and5 which I hope will be able to diſpoſſeſſe you of that lying ſpirit which cauſeth you to perſwade the world that you have valour: as for the drawing and brandiſhing your ſword (you ſo often boaſt of) for the preſervation of the common liberties, and defence of the Parliaments I conceive it a great happineſſe to the State that you never drew it (in earneſt) for had you ſo done, perchance the Sunne beames might have reflected upon the faire gloſſe thereof, (having not been much worn in the rain to make it ruſtie) and cauſed ſuch glances into your eyes being ſomething purblind, that you would have ſuppoſed it to have been lightning, and immediately written a book thereof, and de­clared that the heavens did fight againſt you.

As for your good affection you ſo often reiterate, it hath not ap­peared by your warlike deportment, as the premiſſes may truly ſatis­fie you, nor by your free contribution on the Propoſitions, for that was very ſmall, and that onely to creep into the good opinion of thoſe in Authroity, thereby to gaine ſome place of benefit, as indeed you ob­teined, but perchance you may object, that your good affection may appeare by the adverſe parties plundering of you: this your loſſes you know to be your great gaine, although you are aſhamed to acknow­ledge it, which may ſeem a Paradox to others, who as yet cannot un­fold the riddle, but I can make it plainly appeare, for your loſſes (al­though you abuſed the Hnourable Houſe of Commons by making them believe that they amounted unto 2000 l.) did not extend to the value of 300 l. although you ſhould inventory horſe-collers and hog-yokes, for you had ſold moſt of your cattel, bullocks, hogs, and ſheeep, and received money for them, and loſt very little Corn, not above three or foure load, and that in the ſtraw, as appeares by the teſtimonie of divers of your honeſt neighbours given in by them to the Honou­rable Committee for the County of Surrey ſitting at Kingſton, and for this your ſmall loſſe, (conſidering the great you pretended) you gained from the (by you deceived) Parliament for reparation ma­ny great Sequeſtrations in Surrey, viz. of the goods and eſtate of Judge Foſter; Maſter Denham then high Sheriffe, Captain Andrewes, Cap­tain Hudſon, Captain Brodnix: and many others, which amounted to a very great ſumme, it is therefore evident, your gain far exceeded your loſſe, beſides you would have much added to your gain, at a place6 near Egham in Surrey (I conceive by the new faſhioned trick called plunder (for I never heard of any authoritie you had for it) had you not been prevented by one Maſter Ayling, who with eight or tenne Muſquetiers ſeized your ſelf, and ſome of your Troop, and ſuppoſing you had by Legerdemain conveyed ſomething into your Boots, or ſleeves of your velvet Jacket, enforced your ſelf to pull off both, and your Troopers would not aſſiſt you, ſeeing your puſilanimity in ſub­jecting your ſelf to ſuch baſe termes.

In what elſe your good affection hath been expreſſed, is unknown to me, and I believe to all men, onely you might be conceived to be for the Parliament (did you not daily abuſe the Members thereof, becauſe not againſtit, if there be not a neutralitie in you.

As for your abuſes, injuries and Scandalls, I will be as brief as I may, and yet I ſhall be troubleſome unto you, Your injuries to particular and perſonated men, and eſpecially to Sir Rechard Oinſlow, who up­on ſtrict examination was found to be Juſticiarius, ex merito juſtifica­tus, you Stultus, ex debito condemnatus, have been already in part cenſured by the higheſt Court of Juſtice, although your ſubornation, & conſpiracy be not as yet puniſhed, and if your baſeneſſe be not therein made apparant to you, and your Judgement rectified, I feare I ſhall in vain endeavour it.

Your aſperſions laid upon the Committee of examinations, (taxing them with injuſtice, and that they heard not cauſes with an equall ear) your own cauſe might cleare, and inforce you (had you but common reaſon) to acknowledge your error and give your ſelf the lie, for there was not one Article, that you were accuſed for in your ſcandalous Pamphlet intiruled Juſticiarius justificatus, but you were asked what you could ſay thereto, and what witneſſe you had thereof, and the an­ſwer you could make to all and every queſtion was, that you had no witneſſe, but that it ſeemed ſo to you to be: ought not this do you think to be by them voted injurious, that had no other circumſtantiall evidence or proof then your ſhallow, and malicious ſurmiſe, and the contrary of every ſcandall made apparant? Concerning the inſuffera­ble aſperſions by you laid upon divers Members of both Houſes of Parliament, by terming them rotten Members, Rebells, Traytors, Hy­pocrites, Knaves, Lyars, Swearers, Drunkards, Whoremaſters, with7 much other very opprobrious language vomited forth in your Book en­tituled Opobalſomum Anglicanum, preſſed out of a ſhrub, but it may be more truly called Venenum Diabolicum, extracted from a malevolent braine, And therein expreſſe, that divers Members were choſen by in­direct means, as by employing friends, crouching to equalls, ſcraping acquaintance with ſtrangers, feaſting the Cobler and Smith, all which your ſelf did (onely conceive you had ſcarce a friend to employ) to gain you an election at Guildford in Surrey you neglected not Letters in Print, wonderfully declaring your own abilities, and diſparaging others you feaſted Tailors, Tapſters, and Hoſtlers, and upon the day of Election, earneſtly ſolicited George the Hoſtler, of the red Lion there to put on his beſt clothes to go to the Guild-hall of the town, to give his voice for you, whomaking a ſcruple thereof you deſpaird of your electi­on, took your horſe & mmediatly rode out of town, as it was time to do for the Burgers of that Corporation being very well affected to the publick good, and dependent upon reaſon, had unanimouſly reſolved (nemine contradicente) and accordingly did elect a worthy Patriot of their countrey to be their Burgeſſe, but your hope is that no man being perſonated therein, you ſhall eſcape unpuniſhed, but I hope, as every Member ought to be immaculate, ſo to be jealous of their integrity and to wipe off that dirt you have thrown in their faces, will enforce you to declare, whom you intended thereby, that the guilty (if any) may be found out, (or if none) that you who ſeemingly dip your finger in the diſh with them, yet would trayterouſly foment a diviſion, may be brought to condigne puniſhment, and made exemplary to all knaves for the future.

The premiſſes taken into ſerious conſideration, and your excellent ſervice well weighed, the Parliament cannot but in juſtice reaſſume your Petition for arreares, and order the ſame to be immediately paid, and grant your late Petition for a place of 500 l. per annum.

But the contemplation of your deſerts had almoſt made me forget a friendly advice, which is that you would no more compa•your ſelf to an Engliſh maſtiffe, f•r a maſtiffe hath his eares cropt, a collar a­bout his throat, his tail bob'd, and is chained up, eſpecially in the day time, it may be, let looſe in the night for the preſervation of his Ma­ſters8 goods, and in ſtead thereof worrieth ſome harmleſſe, and innocent paſſenger, and ſo is hanged: I know I have been tedious & troubleſome to you, yet much more might be ſpoken in the blazoning your ſelf and actions in their true and proper colours, but, Ne me Criſpini ſcrinia Lippicompilaſſe, putet. I ſhall conclude with a wiſh that my Letter may find its deſired effect, that you henceforth ſurceaſe from vilifying honeſt men, and deifying your ſelf, which will be no ſmall joy to