THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT Of Tom Fairfax, and the Army under his Command.

IN the name of Rebellion, Blood, Fury, and Horror, I Thomas Fairfax, Generall of the Army, now lying neere Colcheſter, rai­ſed for the Deſtruction of his Majeſties Perſon, the known Lawes of the Land, the Liberty of the Subject, and the priviledge of Parli­aments, being at this time in a very ſick and weak eſtate, of a Diſeaſe called the Gowt, which ſome call Scabiae Franciae, others Morbus Gallicus, and ſome Mechanicks the French Pocks, but eſpecially of the Diſeaſe called the Generall Revolt of the People from the Traey­tors at Weſtminſter, and for that the Earle of Norwich, the Lord Capell, and Sir Charles Lucas, my ſworne Doctors, have given out that I muſt not live long, being gone paſt hope of recovery, I there­fore hold it expedient to make this my laſt Will and Teſtament, in manner and form following:

Jmprimis. I give and bequeath my body to ſome dunghill, or to the City Common ſhore, that my name (if it were poſſible) might periſh from the earth, and my infamie, ceaſe among men, my Soul I give to be diſpoſed of at the pleaſures of that once glorious Angel, now the King of Gehenna, who fell from heaven like lightning ▪ the ſole Patron of me and my Faction, Lucifer, well knowing that by him, I ſhall be courteouſly intrea­ted, and that hee will remember our former friendſhip, ſo that where others are waſht over head and eares in gulphes of liquid fire, I ſhall but Tantalize in yee, and exchange the Torrid, for the Frozen Zone.

Item, I give and bequeath my Commiſſion (ſince I beleeve the Saints under my command muſt needs have one of eminent baſe­neſſe, and known wickedneſſe to goe in and out before them) to my dear brother the Earl of Denbigh, whom I know to be a man ſufficiently quallified for the worke, whoſe very breath is as conta­gious as the Peſtilence, who with the toade ſucks poyſon out of the moſt cleareſt fountaines, and whoſe face is as ominous as a Baſa­lisk, whoſe heart continually grates it ſelf it with envy, and fights with his gall for maſtery, which is the reaſon of that roade-poole ſetled in his face, hee is the man whom I appoynt the Champion of Iſrael after my diſeaſe, to fight the battailes of the Lord.

Jtem, I give and bequeath my perjury, and treacheries, when I delivered the King my maſter into the hands of Whaley, at Hampton court, and permitted Cromwel ▪ by a wile to be guilty of his own ruin, by flying to the Iſle of Wight, notwithſtanding I and Nel had ſolemnly ſworne to him at New-market, and at St. Al­bones that we woul procrue a preſent Perſonall Treaty, and reſtore him to his loſt greatneſſe, I ſay I bequeath that my perjury, and diſloyalty to the peculiar uſe of the crew at Weſtminſter, whom ve­rily I now hate, for that they ſuffer mee to lye here, where I am each day buffeted by perpetuall ſallies, my army each day waſted, and thoſe that ſurvive being in dread of Sir Marmaduke Langdales approach upon their backs, and ſo to be pounded to their deſtru­ction, and yet they ſend me no ſupplyes (it ſeemes they are buſy in packing up their goods for their journey) either of men or money, wiſhing them to adde it to all their former perjuries and Treacheries, for Ile aſſure them, that the Projection of mee, and Cromwel for the cleanly conveyance of his Majeſties Perſon into the Iſle of Wight, may ſtand upon record for the moſt pernicious fallacy that ever hole inſtruments invented, and that curſed Plot, if3 well husbanded, may procreate a thouſand more, as pernitious as that hath proved, and as equally dangerous.

Item, I give and bequeath, ſix pounds per annum to be paid out of Delinquents eſtates not yet diſcovered, to lack Hall, (the may-game of Cambridge) who each weeke proclaymes himſelf in a ſheet of nonſence, blaſphemye, and treaſon, by the name of the the quondam Libeller Britain•cu•, which annuity I beſtow on him to quit his charges for pen, inke, and paper: for his maintenance I leave that to Lillie and Booker the infortunates of the State, whoſe, hireling hee is, and who allow him money, for tobacco and beere-beſides a ſundayes dinnir, of beefe and pudding, to raile againſt Elenctichus, and the Scots.

Item, I give and bequeath the ſum of one hundred pounds, to be paid out of mine own eſtate, to Mr. Marſhall that Geneva bull as a gratuity for his paines, when he ſhall preach my funerall ſer­mon, which I would have him prate, in S. Margarits church Weſt­minſter, his auditory I would have to be theſe whom I nominate, Imprimis. Harry Martin, Mr. Weaver, and Mr. Scot: of com­mittee men, Corbet the ſwarthy, and Challenor the wall-eyd ▪ of citi­zens, Warner the Mayor, and Atkins the Alderman, of the Army, Ireton the Anabaptiſt, and Rainsborow the leveller, of the Lords Say the ſychophant, and Mancheſter the man-cater: his text I would have to be, even where himſelfe liſteth, for the truth is, I am not ſo well read in holy ſcripture, as to remember any place pertinent to the purpoſe, his Sermon finiſhed, let my body be decently wound up, in the Ordinance of Indemnity, (for perchance it may purchaſe me ſome favour amongſt my fellow-furies in hell, though (ſhould I live) it could not mittigate my cenſure and puniſhment on earth, that done my body to born with all ſolemnity, and caſt into the o­pen fields, for the fowles of the ayre to feaſt upon me (if perhaps they flie mee not for the ſowreneſſe of my fleſh,) and for that I am like to have no tombe, I deſire that this Epitaph may be entred in­to the Iournall booke of the crew at Weſtminſter, but withall I leave it to the diſcretion of Brittannicus, to frame another more plauſible if he find occaſion.

The laſt will and Teſtament of the Army.

•N the••me of miſchief, murther, maſſacres, and Ruine, Amen. WEe who tearme our ſelves an Army of Saints, commonly knowne by the name of murtherers, plunderers, Blaſphe­mers, Atheiſts, and out-throates, now lying before the Towne of Colcheſter, where we are continually kept waking with loud al­lar••s, and hundreds of us each day out off by furious Sallies, being in a very ſick and weak eſtate, and certainly aſſured that we can­not be long mortall, do make this our laſt Will and Teſtament, in manner and form following:

Imprimis. Wee give our bodies, to be devoured by crowes, pies, rav•ns, and ſhrich-owles, and the other animals of the ayre, ſo ſoon as ever our Soules ſhall be ſent packing by the ſwords of the Earl of Norwich, the Lord Capell, Sir Charles Lueas, Sir Marmaduke Langdale, and the reſt of the eminent Royalliſts, and their adhe­rents, now in armes againſt us.

Jtem. Wee give and bequeath all our plunders ▪ rapines, cruel­ties, and abominations which we have practiſed this ſeven years, to Scot, Mancheſter, Say, Warner, Wild ▪ Rolles, and the reſt at Weſt­minſter, and the city of London, who rule the roaſte, wiſhing wee could make them full Executioners to all our Sinnes, not doubting but they wil improve our aforeſaid legacies to the beſt advantage ye•, till they ſhall be pulled out of their houſe at Weſtminſter, and all they at G••ld. Hall ſhall be whipt about the City.

Item. Wee give and bequeath, all our Sciſmes, Factions, outra­ges,5 diſturbances, tumults, contentions, to the Sectaries in, and abo••the City of London, to bee equally diſtributed amongſt them the 22 of September next enſuing when they ſhall meet together at the Spittle, to take their farewell of Tub-L•ctures, to the end, they may be ſo well ſeaſoned with ſeditious principles, that they may on all occaſions be prompt and ready to cauſe new combuſtions, to give occaſion of new jealouſies, and to ſet on foot new diſtempers, when we ſhall be quite forgotten, ſave to ovr Infamy.

Item. Wee give and bequeath, unto our venerable Apoſtle, Hugh Peters, all thoſe gifts of the Spirit, (which the malignants tearme) of deulſion, with which inabled we that are foot-ſouldiers and troopers have often with our zealous Oratory frighted the Iack Dawes, of from Countrey Steeples, and have led the high-ſhoes ▪ and ba•on mouthes, by the noſe to their ruine, and this boon wee are the rather incited to beſtow upō him for that he the ſaid Hugh Peters, hath of late dayes abſconded himſelf from us, and hath ta­ken up his quarters with the cutlers-wife, at — having deſerted his Apoſtolicall function, wee meane not his players guyze (which i•the reaſon that ever ſince he hath been a miniſter, he acts a ſer­mon ſo ridicouſly in the pulpit, to the incredible mirth of his Audi­tory, but meane his faculty of prating and confounding Scripture al which his Errors, we are confident will ſoone leave him, when our ſpirit ſhall take up hillet in his breaſt, alſo wee beſtow upon him, all the riches which we ſhall leave ſow'd up in our doublets when we leave the world (if hee have ſuch good fortune to attain it) which we doe hereby charge him to lay out upon good wine, and handſome whores, for we know, when he leaves ſuch recreation our cauſe periſheth with him.

Item. Wee give and bequeath all our falſe eaths our breach of covenant, and our frequent proteſtations to act nothing that might tend to his Majeſties diſhonour, the ruine of his Perſon, or to the diminiſhing of his juſt Power and greatneſſe, with which plauſible pretences (we once deluded the people) to the States at Weſtmin­ſter.

Willing and deſiring our ſaid executors, (if at leaſt wee may tearme them ſo) to improve our impieties aforeſaid to the utmoſt that ſo (if it be poſſible) they may yet hold up a twelve moneth longer, and under a pretence of treating with his Majeſty, get time to ſtrengthen themſelves, or if that fail, to make up their fardles for New-England.

All theſe out Leganles being duly diſtributed, according to our aforeſaid wiſh, we will, that Mr. Dell that Goſpell Reformer, in whoſe eſteeme his Majeſty is a dead dog, doe preach our funerall in the fields, where we deſire that all the whole rabble of Sectaries whether Pre•biters, Independents, ſeekers, Anabaptiſts, Apoſtoliks, Anti-trinitarians, Familists, Antiſcripturians, or Adamites, Sha­kers, Browniſts, Barrowists, Eraſtians, Nicholaitans, Antinomians, Armi•ians, and the whole ſwarmes of Hornets, will be preſent, and the ſermon being finiſhed, to lift up their voyces, with outrag•ous ſhriekes, and horrid gro•••s, ſuch as may fright nature into a Chaos, and for that we doubt not but Mr. Dell will take great paynes, in ſweating out his ſermon, we wil that he in recompence therof ſhal have liberty to print h••ſermon, and to take money for the co••••…of whatſoever Book ſeller he can get it, we could wiſh the dan••…•…at Knave, Greek, who keepes ſhop in fleet-ſtreet, had the diſp•••g of it, & ſo de•i•ing one long•ard brethren, to take warning by our example, we bid them, farewel, aſſuring them, that wee will not ſayle to make known to their friends in the lower world t•is preſent eſtate.