A CURRY-COMB FOR A COCKS-COMB: OR, The Trip to Holland Detected.
AS a true bred Maſtiff walks with Patience thro a Country Town, each whifling Cur, in Emulation of his Greatneſs, runs Yelping at his heels, till at laſt provoked by the inſolence of ſome forward Mungril, who being Ignorant of his Strength, and thoughtleſs of his Courage, attempts to bite him by the Breech, which occaſions the diſdainful Animal to turn back his Head and Grin; and when with Contempt he has view'd his feeble Adverſary, he holds up his Leg and Scornfully Piſſes upon his Trembling Aſſailant.
With as little Concern have I endur'd the Petulent Snarls, and envious Reproaches of ſome Deminitive Scriblers till now, without ſo much as ſhowing them my Teeth.
But a Scurrilous Preface, by an Unmannerly Sauce-box, to a naked piece of Plagiariſm, publiſhed under the Title of A Trip to Holland, I confeſs hath mov'd me, not only to do my Self, but the World this Juſtice.
As for the matter contain'd in his Ill-bred Pamphlet, (ſo very Scandalous by its unſeaſonable Applycation) it is Stolen from Mr. Feltham Word for word; and is call'd by him, Three Weeks Obſervation upon the Low Countrys; and may be found, annex'd to his Reſolves, in any Bookſellers-ſhop in Town.
Therefore the PUPPY his Chap (as his well-bred Author calls him in his unſavory Preface, which is of a far more Beaſtly Compoſition than his Dutchman) might have had ſo much reſpect for his Prince's Country, or that honeſty towards the Publick, and have us'd that manners to a Gentleman, as not to have ſhow'd himſelf, by his publication of a paultery piece of Bombaſt, ſo very Impudent in the face of Authority, ſo Knaviſh to the World, and Rude to a Stranger.
2I am ſorry a Man who deals in Books ſhould diſcover his Wit to be ſo little, or his Neceſſity ſo great, as to force him to the uſe of ſuch unpracticable Meaſures, which every Prudent Author ought to Condemn, and every Honeſt Bookſeller Deteſt.
Tho' the little ſhallow-brain'd Lampooneer (who could never before now extend his Muſhroon Fancy above Balladian height) hath fooliſhly ſuffer'd himſelf, in a Dtunken Freak, to be carry'd beyond his Tallent; and venture, like an unskilful Swimmer, to wade out of his depth at his own peril: Yet, I thought, the Bookſeller might have had more wit, than to Record himſelf ſuch a PUPPY in Print; and lend himſelf to his Author, to uſe him as the worſt piece of Rubbiſh of which he has compos'd his Dunghill of Reflections. I muſt confeſs, till now, I could not think there was ſuch a Cocks-comb of the Trade.
The Author, in his filthy Quagmire of Nonſenſe, ſuppoſes the Weſt-India Poet to be a Tranſport Fellon: But I am ſure the Dutch Obſervator, in his pretended Trip to Holland, (patch'd up of as many bits and ſnips, and appears of as many Colours as a Fools Jacket) hath openly committed ſuch a ſhameful piece of Theft, that he deſerves Tranſportation into an Iſland of Fools, where he ſhould have no oppertunity of playing the Ape with any above the Curſe of his own Capacity.
I would adviſe him for the future, to confine his Scurrilous and Obſcene Dialect within its proper bounds; and never preſume to attempt any thing beyond a Bloody Murther, Bawdy Ballad, or a Laſt Dying Speech and Confeſſion. And I muſt needs take the liberty of giving him this Caution, Unleſs he wipes the Bird-lime off his Fingers, that they may no more ſtick to a Silver Tankard, or draw Books after them into Duck-Lane, to the diſgrace of his Family, and ſcandal of the Purchaſers, he may chance to fall into the hands of as ſcurvy a Poetaſter as himſelf; and become the lamentable Subject of a doleful Ditty.
I hear, within two or three days, there will an Anſwer be Publiſh'd, as a check to his upſtart Inſolence. Who it is that thinks it worth their Labour I know not: I declare to the World it's none of mine, for I ſhall give my ſelf no other trouble than this, without a further Provocation: But aſſure the Bookſeller I'll not forget his kindneſs; and as for the Author, if this gentle Correction mend not his manners, the next ſhall be a Cudgel.