JEſu, Maria! What Monſter is this! of all the Hobgoblins in Purgatory, certainly there is none like this. Well, in nomine Sancti Petri, I con­jure thee to tell me Who or What thou art?

Thou great Apollyon, profound Mystery of iniquity! I am unwilling to tell thee, knowing my Name and Office will be more frightful than my aſpect. —

It can never be, what are they?

My name is Catholick, and my Office to gain Souls.

O my dear Son! I hug thee — I embrace thee.

Nay not too faſt (Holy Father) leſt you repent of your favours, and turn your Bleſſings into Curſes. —

I give thee a plenary Pardon — free thee from Purgatory, and pronounce thee Saint and Martyr for thy cou­rage and conſtancy in the Cauſe, even at the very Stake. —

You will retract all this, when you underſtand me aright, and ſo forfeit your Infallibility before all theſe Hereticks, who have condemned you to that viſible Pur­gatory, from which I fear, you will not be able to deliver your ſelf, much leſs me. —

You miſtake me, I call not this material Fire, Pur­gatory, but the flames of another World; where Souls, &c —

And I believe no Purgatory in your ſenſe, hereafter.

How? and yet call your ſelf Catholick! what do you mean?

I mean not Roman Catholick, but Chriſtian Catho­lick, or a Reformed Chriſtian, or Protestant. And my Office is to gain Souls, not to Antichriſt, but to Jeſus Chriſt; who ſhed his precious Blood to redeem Souls. And this I do by fervent Prayers, ſeaſonable Admonitions, ſincere Preaching of the Goſpel in ſeaſon and out of ſeaſon, and a due Admi­niſtration of the Sacraments.

I begin to ſmell him — and ſhall find him out by my next Queſtion, — How many Sacraments are there?

Two only inſtituted by Chriſt, Baptiſm, and the Lords Supper.

What then becomes of Marriage, Ordination, Ex­tream Unction, and the reſt?

They are where they were intended, and where I wiſh they may always remain, at Rome, and among the Roman Catholicks, whoſe Faith is Faction, whoſe Promiſes are Equivocations, whoſe Worſhip is Idolatry, whoſe Prin­ciples are High-Treaſon, whoſe Mercies are Cruelties, whoſe practices are Stabbing and Poiſoning of Kings, whoſe frame of Government is a Politick Deſign to bring the4 necks of Princes and Nobles under their i•on Yoak and whoſe God is a pretty, little, tiney thing which the••••eſt firſt creates with a Charm of four words long then wor­ſhips it, and afterwards chops him up at a hit, and makes no bones of him. — Now your bleſſing, Lucifer Junior.

Bleſs thee! All the Curſes of Aſhwedneſday and of the 69. Pſalm light upon thee. And may all the tortures of my Inquiſition, and torments of Purgatory, overtake thee in this Life and that to come, — Thou worst of Hereticks: The German Bull never roar'd ſo loud as thou doſt.

Yet ſo loud, that (thanks be to God) he hath ſpoiled the roaring of your Bulls amongſt us.

Not quite tho; There are ſome amongſt you re­gard them as much as they do an Act of P — And tho the rude Multitude make themſelves ſport with me in puppet, yet I have ſome true hearts amongſt you, who are troubled to ſee it, and wiſh an opportunity to revenge it.

All this I can believe without Swearing, being convinced of the truth of it by your Deſign in your late Plot againſt our King, his Government and Religion (gra­ciouſly and ſeaſonably diſcovered by Divine Providence) which if it had taken effect, the Hereticks, by this time, might have gone to pot in England, as faſt as they have done in France, Spain, Italy and Germany, (not to mention Ireland) in all which places, ſince the firſt riſe of the Jeſuits, to the year 1580, almoſt Nine hundred thouſand Proteſtants were put to death. And we believe you are no Changelings.

Nor you neither, for you are the ſtiffeſt Here­tick I ever talked with. Pray of which ſtamp of He­reticks are you? For there are two ſorts, Conforming and Nonconforming, or Conſenting and Diſſenting Hereticks.

So then I perceive, neither Barrel is better Her­ring in your account?

By St. Stafford, not much difference, if any: but anſwer me, of which ſort are you?

Of no ſort of Hereticks. But if it may do you any good to know it, I am a Nonconforming, or diſſenting Proteſtant.

And the Deviliſheſt one I ever met with Let me ſuf­fer a 1000 years in Purgatory, if I did not think as much by your Garb. Your tipt Cap, long Cloak, and ſhort Jerkin be­ſpeak you as rank an Heretick, as inveterate an Enemy to ho­ly Mother the Church, and to my ſelf the Head of it, as any in the Nation. Let the Curſe of my own Bulls light upon me, if I don't believe you are that Heretical Rogue that put out the Proteſtant Almanacks, wherein you have raked together all the enormities men or Devils can commit, and charged them upon us, to render me and my whole body Ec­cleſiaſtical hateful and odious to the world.

I don't tell you I writ them: But I tell you to your Tooth I have read them, and find nothing but truth in them.

Truth! burn ye — nothing but truth in all thoſe Packets of Heretical Forgeries? burning is too good for you; And the very Circumſtance of time confers too great an Honour upon you, as if you died a Martyr for having an hand in that glorious un­dertaking of the Powder Plot. Whereas you are a ſtubborn Here­tick and rejoyce upon this day, that that Deſign was detected and fruſtrated.

I do ſo, and ſo do all true Proteſtants, and give thanks to God with our Hearts, who this day Infatuated your Counſels and confounded your Helliſh Devices.

I am not able to bear the thoughts of being burnt the ſame day with this Fellow. I would give a whole years Revenue by my publick Stewes, his Execution might be ſuſpended till the 30th of January next, a proper Seaſon for his Suffering.

That's well hinted, O Abaddon! I remember it with re­gret and abhorrency, a day of Blood, of Royal Blood, from the Guilt of which all your Holy Water will never be able to cleanſe you. Who ſomented the differences in Church and State, that were the Prologue to that Black Tragedy? Who mingled ſo many Prieſts and Jeſuits in the Army, that fought the Battels againſt his Majeſty of Bleſſed Memory? Who incircled the Stage, and made the Pal­lace of our Murdered Prince Eccho with Shouts and Acclamations at the fall of that Head of Three Kingdoms, and Sung Te Deums when the News arrived at Rome, but you and your Babyloniſh Crew? — And notwithſtanding your boaſting againſt Hereticks (as you miſcall them) for this you know, and all ſincere Proteſtants believe, that we owe the contrivance and management of that Horrid De­ſign to Rome, as much as any before or ſince.

You provoke me at that rate, that I muſt paſs Sentence a­gainſt you.

And no more then I expected — O glorious Infallibility! to bleſs and curſe the ſame Perſon in the ſame Breath! Fallible Mug­gleton could do no more.

I was miſtaken in you, you ſeemed to be what you are not.

But I am not miſtaken in thee, — Thou very Strum­bolo and Etna of all Civil and Eccleſiaſtical Erruptions, Commoti­ons and Plots.

Nay, I know you Hereticks confer the honour of all Evil of this kind upon my ſelf and my faithful Adherents. — 'Tis ten to one but you will ſay we laid this Plot againſt you, to have you repreſent­ed (and in you all your Gang) as Perſons more worthy of Flames than Favour?

In my Conſcience, Beelzebub, thou art a Witch or a Con­jurer, you gueſs ſo ſhrewdly. For tho' a Company of inconſiderate Boys appeared on the Stage, yet your Actors ſtood behind the Cur­tain, prompting them on, and glorying in it, to ſee the Seene on that day ſo altered, as to burn true Proteſtants in Effigie, inſtead of Popes and Cardinals. I doubt not but the Grave and Learned Maſter of ſome of thoſe Youths, hath ſince taught them more Wit and bet­ter Manners, than to Confront Authority, at or near the very place where ſo many good Laws have been made to extirpate Popery, and eſtabliſh the Proteſtant Religion; and where they lately repealed the Act de Heret. Comb. never intending, I preſume, that the burn­ing (no not in Effigie) of true Proteſtants ſhould come in the room of it — But who ſhall correct your Agents? Or call to account that Bell-Weather to the Tories, N. T. who in his Scurrillous Pam­phlet, approved and made ſport with it, calling it a ſign of Loy­alty? That you may diſcern how much he is tickled with the Fan­cy, take the relation of it in his own Words, in his Mercury Novem­ber the 8th Inſtant. — Although (faith he) the Scholars of the So­ciety of St. Peters Colledge, Weſtminſler, have been backward in ad­dreſſing, yet they thought themſelves obliged to give ſome ſignal of their Loyalty; wherefore on Saturday laſt, they having dreſſed up Jack Presbyter in his proper habit, they ſet him in a Tub, having in his right hand a Seditious Pamphlet, called Vox Patriae, and in his left a broad Scroll of Parchment, on which was written the Solemn League and Covenant: On his Cloak there was pinned another piece of Parch­ment, upon which was written Ignoramus; and for a Pulpit Cloath there was nailed on the foreſide of the Tub the Atchievments of Jack Presbyter. In this manner the Effigies was brought in proceſſion from the Bowling Ally to the Deans Yard, where he was ſet aloft in the middle of the Yard (the Tub being underpropped with Three very high Legs) ſo when the Loyal Youths had diſcharged ſome dozens of Squibs at him, they brought him to the Fire, which was prepared for their purpoſe, and ſetting about Ten Faggots more under the Tub, they burnt him down with this Elegy — Magnae nec invidio Tu Presbyter ibis in ig­nem. At which a great Shout was given, every one expreſſing Loy­alty to His Majeſty, and wiſhing that the real Perſon whom the Image repreſented, and all his Followers, had been burnt with it. Believe it, ſuch a publick Action, and publick Vindication, deſerves a publick Cenſure. Take it with all its Circumſtances of perſon, time, place and manner, and I think the Age paſt cannot pa­rallel it, and the Age to come will wonder at it, and ſcarce believe it. I know we have often been repreſented, droll'd, and ridicul'd (in the moſt opprobrious manner and Language) on the Stage. 7But for a Proteſtant, a Proteſtant Divine, well known to be ſuch, by ſome thouſands, both in this and other Kingdoms, to be dreſſed up in a moſt ridiculous manner, hung round with Libels, and repreſented as a Malefactor or Heretick, conjoyned with the Pope, (that red Dragon) and ſacrificed in the ſame flames, on the Fifth of November, as if that Plot were as much the Proteſtants as the Papiſts, or as if the Pope and he were equally guilty of the ſame Treaſons and Rebellions. And this too, at ſuch a time, when God had ſo lately detected ſuch an Helliſh Deſign of the Papiſts (and which, no doubt, they are yet vigorouſly carrying on) to the ruin of our King, our Religion, and all that is, or can be dear to us. This, I ſay, was an action heinous, and ſuch as ſcarce any Inſtance can be given of the like. Therefore I muſt firſt lay it at your door, then at the Boys.

I confeſs this burning of Poppets is but Boys play.

I care not if there were none of it, but the Reaſon why you diſlike it, is becauſe it was firſt begun againſt you, the Prote­ſtants being provoked by your continual bloody Deſigns againſt them. But if it be againſt Hereticks, and to reproach them, 'tis manly and commendable; witneſs your annual Proceſſions of this na­ture, and burning of Hereticks in ſhow at Rome. In which we have once or twice endeavoured to imitate you, upon your Old Friend Queen Beſſes Day. Now the truth is, the one you decry as puerile and childiſh, but the other you publickly allow and approve.

Yes, and hope to ſee other gueſs Bonefires made for you Hereticks, than theſe, as we have had formerly; ſuch as ſhall not make ſport for Boys, but affright Men.

You muſt ſtay till our Gracious King (whom God long preſerve) is gone off the Stage, and till you have a Prince, and a P — that will re-eſtabliſh that aboliſhed Act, de Heret. Comb.

Well, we hope the beſt.

And ſo do we too; that is, that our King may live to the time when Popes ſhall be no more; till that Armageddon Battel be begun, which ſhall end in Antichriſts Ruin; and till that Fire be kindled (not of your nor the Devils kindling, but Gods) into which ſhall be caſt the Devil, the Beaſt, (with all that receive his Mark) and the falſe Prophet, and ſhall be tormented day and night, for ever and ever. Rev. 20.9, 10.

But why do you ſay 'tis of Gods kindling?

For two Reaſons. Firſt, That you may not think 'tis Purgatory, a Fiction of your own framing, to deceive the Igno­rant, and to repleniſh your own Coffers. Secondly, becauſe the Holy Ghoſt (who is truly infallible) ſaith ſo in the forementioned Text; and ſo Antichriſt, or the Beaſt, and all that receive his8 Mark, ſhall find it; not an imaginary puniſhment (like yours) but real and terrible, When your Judgments ſhall come in one day, Death and mourning, and you ſhall be burnt with Fire; for ſtrong is the Lord that judgeth you, Rev. 18.8. In which burning while you and your Adherents ſhall eternally lament your Idolatry and Witch­crafts, your Cheats and Deluſions, your Profaneſs and Blaſphe­mies, your Fopperies and Fooleries; many of thoſe you now call and condemn for Hereticks ſhall ſing Triumphant Halleluiahs to the Lamb in Glory, and partake of that fulneſs of Joy, and thoſe Rivers of Pleaſures, which are at Gods Right hand for evermore, Pſal. 16.11.