TRODDEN DOWNE STRENGTH, OR, MRS DRAKE REVIVED.
THE matchleſſe rare Caſe, and in that kinde unparalleld trouble of that ſometime worthy Gentlewoman, Mrs Ioan Drake of famous memory, wife of Francis Drake late of Eſher Eſquire; with the glorious and ſtrange concluſion the Lord made with her, (I believe the like never read nor heard of) was the cauſe of writing2 this enſuing diſcourſe. Whoſe Caſe and trouble of ten years continuance being ſo rare and ſeldome met with; for that the Relation thereof might perhaps help ſome hard-hearted mourning Creatures hereafter, to gather heart and ſtrength, not to deſpaire (how deſperate ſoever their Caſe may ſeeme either to themſelves or others to be) I have therefore by Gods help, and for the comfort of ſuch, undertaken to ſet down here, for the glory of God, and confuſion of Satan (her maine ſtrong enemy) her Caſe, and cauſe thereof, with the progreſſe and iſſue of all, as briefly as poſſibly I could, to remaine as a pertuall monument whilſt time laſts, of Gods great goodneſſe and infinite mercies even to the moſt hard-hearted and3 miſerable that may be. To the end, that as it was ſaid by Iames of Iob and his Caſe, Behold the Patience of Job, and what end the Lord made; ſo it may likewiſe hereafter be ſaid of this good woman, Behold the hardneſſe of heart, ſtiffneſſe and ſtoutneſſe of Mrs Drake for a long time rejecting all meanes in a long continuance, and what a comfortable end the Lord made with her. Wherefore it being a diſcourſe full of windings and turnings, fraught with many of Satans ſubtilties and intricate multifarious tentations, wherein Proteus like, he according unto the occaſion, changed ſhapes, to have overthrown this good Gentlewoman; all the ends whereof cannot (becauſe of the variety and ſtrangneſſe) eaſily be knit together: I doe entreat the Readers patience4 to beare with me, if ſometimes I ſeeme to looſe my ſelfe, or be too tedious, or for want of memory and multiplicity of matter be enforced ſometimes to bring Hyſteron Proteron: But howſoever the buſineſſe, if largely related, might fill up a very great volumne, I intend only as I am able, to gather together ſome of the moſt ſpeciall materiall things, knitting them as briefly as may be together; ſeeing by Gods mercy I was made an unworthy Inſtrument of her recovery, and an eye-witneſſing Actor in all her Tragick-Comedy: (Not daring but to erect this Trophee of eternall thankfulneſſe for her) in imitation of former Worthies in their deliverances; I was enforced and durſt not but thus vent the buſineſſe of her rare Caſe, unto ſucceeding Poſterity.
5Firſt, we will ſhew how ſhee was ſet upon and aſſaulted in the night with fear and horror, with her foregoing diſpoſition, character, and what fore-runners uſhered this her diſtemper which raiſed ſo great a ſtorme.
Secondly, By what ſtrange meanes, and way, the Lord made the Relater an unworthy Inſtrument, to have compaſsion on her, and finde her out, helping to furniſh her with the Inſtrument and means of her recovery; and what entertainment ſhee gave that meanes at his firſt comming unto her, and after, untill the time that ſhee revealed the Devils counſell, was contented to live, and uſe the meanes having any hope to be ſaved.
Thirdly, Her deportment and carrige from this fornamed time, untill a little before her death.
6Fourthly, The preparation unto her death, with the ſtrange manner how the Lord revealed himſelfe unto her, before the ſame, the like never heard of.
1. For the firſt, ſhee was the daughter of that worthy Gentleman William Totle Eſquire, one of the ſix Clerks of Chancery, his only Heire apparant, being likely to have enjoyed all his fortunes which were very great, according whereunto ſhee had all the excellent breeding, which is uſuall, and befitted a Gentlewoman iſſued from ſuch worthy Parents, whoſe too great indulgence towards her in her youth (by her own confeſſion) occaſioned ſo much ſorrow unto her in her riper years, receiving then no correction at all.
Her character.Shee was of a low well compacted ſtature, of a lovely browne7 complexion, having a full nimble quick Sparrow-hawke eye, of a naturall joviall conſtitution, accidentally melancholy, full of love, curteſie, mercy and meekneſſe, affable in converſation, with a deep and nimble quick pleaſant preſent wit, tender-hearted, free and bountifull, in nothing covetous but of grace: the freeſt alive from all hypocriſie, unleſſe it were to bely her ſelf, wearing her worſt ſide outmoſt, being plaine, true and tender open-hearted, modeſt, eaſily drawn with love and good words; but if oppoſed, ſtout, ſtern and inflexible, uſing the outward contentments of the times, yet in a very indifferent, modeſt, inoffenſive way, reſolute in her undertakings, valewing even then reall goodneſſe where ſhee ſaw it in any without hypocriſie,8 deteſting ſhewes without ſubſtance: though then ſhee were not acquainted with the power of godlineſſe, yet had ſhee it in admiration, where ſhe ſaw it ſhine forth; ſo as though ſometimes in a little mirth, ſhe would vex and jeſt with the ſuppoſed worſer ſort, who at good times came to her of her neighbours; yet thoſe who were in her judgement right, ſhe uſed thus farre to open her ſelfe unto her waiting woman touching them, in this ſtrange preſaging manner.
Doeſt thou ſee theſe people, ſome of whom I doe ſo jeare at and vex? of my conſcience I ſhall one day ere I die, bee one of them; for thoſe of them who are right, are the only happy ſouls, which was a ſtrange prediction of her (even then when ſhee was ſo farre from, and contrary9 unto them) as afterwards it came to paſſe.
Cauſe of her melancholy.Gods providence, and her Parents pleaſure, appointed unto her a Match, but ſuch a one (thought he was a worthy fine Gentleman of good birth, parts and fortunes) yet whom at firſt ſhee could not affect, ſo as ſhe was married againſt her will (a great Over-ſight in Parents) which firſt bred in her the foundation of thoſe ſtormes and tempeſts, which in time were in danger to have overthrown her. Wherein though ſhee were obedient and dutifull unto her Parents; yet it ſtuck cloſe unto her, though her ſtrength of ſpirit and joviall temper endeavoured with all her ſtrength to have ſhaken it off, out-worn it, and by all meanes to have out-faced it, without ſemblance of diſcontent, by merry10 company and divers journeyes (which uſually divert melancholy thoughts) as though there had been no ſuch matter. But griefe being like unto fire, which though for a time ſmothered, yet could not long bee concealed, her diſconten•s did ſecretly work upon her a habit of ſadneſſe in midſt of her mirth with her friends, as Salomon ſhewes than even in laughter the heart may be ſad.
Cauſe of her diſtemper.About this time not long after her marriage ſhe was brought to bed of a daughter (a dear daughter unto her) becauſe in that delivery being much wronged by her Midwiffe, ſhee was ever after troubled with fumes and ſcurvie vapors mounting up unto her head, which bred in her for the moſt part a continuall head-ach, like unto a megrum, together with11 ſomewhat like unto a fire continually burning at her ſtomack, which no phyſick could remove, or was not Gods pleaſure it ſhould; the which drew her towards a more conſtant conſtitution of ſadneſſe and diſtemper, though yet with her uſuall ſtrength of ſpirit and chearfull diſpoſition, ſhee out-faced, as though all had been well. But a fire of diſcontent being kindled full of ſad thoughts in her; which bred and encreaſed all the time ſhe lay in of her daughter; thus ſhortly after it fell out, That
Her Father and Mother being very indulgent towards her in this Caſe, and both of them being with her, when at a time ſhe was ill at her Houſe at Eſher in Surrey; her Mother to comfort and hearten her up, then lying one night with her; It came to paſſe that in12 the fore-part of the night ſhee fell aſleep, but not long after fell out into terrible ſhricks & out-cryes, to this purpoſe,The firſt grand tempeſt ſhee endured. that ſhee was undone, undone, ſhee was damned, and a caſt away, and ſo of neceſsity muſt needs goe to Hell, and therewith ſhook, dropt down with ſweat, and wept exceedingly: Wherewith her good Mother Mrs Totle much troubled, being a very religious tender-hearted Gentlewoman, did give her many good and comfortable exhortations, to be quiet, to truſt in God; not to believe illuſions, telling her, that the Devill was a liar, and ſo fell a praying with her,A ſtrange change. ſhee being in ſhew well recovered and pacified. Which being paſt, ſhe fell aſleep againe, and wakened as full of extraordinary joyes, as formerly ſhee had been of terrors; rejoycing exceedingly,13 and then told her Mother, What a wonderful comfortable dreame ſhee had been in, and how from an Angel ſhe was aſſured of her ſalvation; that now all her former feares ſhee ſaw were falſe, now ſhe would doubt no more, being aſſured to goe unto Heaven; and ſo prayed againe with her Mother.
Some houres after this ſhe fell aſleep againe for an houre and more (as her Mother told the Relator) but at her awaking was now in a more fearfull caſe then ever,The tempeſt begins roughly. in a fearefull trembling and ſweat, ſhaking exceedingly and crying out, That now ſhee was a forelorne creature, being aſſuredly damned, without hope of mercy, without all remedy, confident that ſhee muſt needs goe unto hell; with ſhricks and loud Cryes, the bed ſhaking,14 yea, the whole chamber ſeeming to rock and reele: Which breeding to her Mother, much fear, amazement and grief, in that it was now paſt her skill to faſten upon her daughter any thing which might allay, comfort, or quiet her diſtemper ſhee now was in. In which wofull poſture ſhee ſtill continued, notwithſtanding all the comforts of perſwaſions vented either by her Mother or any others; all which were in vaine, there being joyned with her ſadneſſe and diſtemper, ſome out-rage now and then, abſtinence from meat as much as might be; ſtrange deſperate ſpeeches, unruly carriage, far from her former naturall conſtitution: ſometime ſlighting and laughing at all ſaid unto her, they now not daring to truſt her alone, but to have her watched continually15 night and day by two Gentlewomen by turns, moſt of the bolts and locks being taken off in the roomes, leſt Satan ſhould have circumvented them. Shee in the meane time all this while living in much diſcontent, againſt her will, but that ſhe was ſo watcht and tended, that ſhee could by no meanes hurt her ſelfe, never left alone, but over-awed with Overſeers who were jealous of her ruine. In this Caſe ſhee with much adoe was brought to eat, but ſparingly, very muſing and ſilent; but when ſhe was by her Husband, Father or Mother, much urged to the contrary; who by their authority only prevailed much with her: now at length growing deſperately hopeleſſe, refuſing all meanes, ſlighting and ſcorning to ſpeake with any Miniſters, all who came16 to her, ſhee ſhaking them off, as we ſee a great Maſtiffe to turne off many ſhall Curres; laughing at them, and ſending them away with much deriſion and diſcontent; which ſhee of purpoſe delighted to doe, ſo to diſcourage all of them, that they might have no minde to return again: So as ſhee wearied out all who came unto her, who left her as a creature hopeleſſe of recovery. In which ſad Poſture, now in her own eyes and moſt of others, hopeleſſe and helpleſſe, being the aſtoniſhment of Husband, Father, Mother, and of all her friends; wee will now for a while leave her unto her keepers, to ſhew in the next place, the ſecond thing propounded; How ſtrangely the Lord cauſed the Relater to bee a meanes to finde her out, bring one of a thouſand unto17 her, and what ſtrange entertainment ſhe gave him at his firſt comming unto her, to declare unto her, both what her iniquity, and righteouſneſſe was.
How God cauſed to finde her out.As by Gods good Providence the Relater was one day at dinner in Iſleworth, at the houſe of the Lady Scudamore, where the late worthy Miniſter Dr Burges the Elder then alſo was, whoſe help ſhee had rejected. Amongſt other diſcourſes there interpoſed this alſo of Mrs Drakes great diſtemper, pitifull ſtrange unuſuall Caſe, how deſperate it was, and what a great work of mercy it would bee to be a meanes any way to help her. It then being concluded by all, that if Mr Iohn Dod of Aſhby, could be entreated or won to take ſo much paines, under God he were the only fit perſon, with his ſo milde,18 meek and mercifull ſpirit, do deale with hers, which was ſo out of tune and off hooks: upon whoſe prayers and paines, more good ſucceſſe might be expected, then any one they could then think of. This motion though for the time neglected, yet after a fortnight wrought ſo ſtrongly, day and night upon the Relater, that he could have no reſt until hee had moved the buſineſſe unto Mr Dod then in Town; who modeſtly put it off as a buſineſſe beyond his ſtrength and leiſure to wait upon, yet being contented to ſee her and ſpeak with her. Whereupon the Relater then wrote unto her Huſband (a ſtranger unto him) to this purpoſe; that hearing of the ſtrange Caſe and danger his wife now was in, out of mercy unto her, he had procured, the fitteſt man19 known to come to ſee her, and do his beſt to help her according to his ability, one Mr Dod Miniſter of Cannons-Aſhby in Northamptonſhire. Hee then after enquiring of Mr Dod, found ſuch a generall good report of him, that he ſuddenly came unto the Relaters chamber in the White-Friers, where Mr Dod at that time was, who acquainting himſelf with him, entreated his help and company to viſite his wife, and ſo took us both along with him unto his houſe.
But it is ſtrange to heare what ſuttlety the Devill then uſed,A ſudden device of Satan. and uncouth entertainment he cauſed her then to give unto him: for, ſhee being in the dining roome above, having no knowledge of his comming (which was concealed from her) yet as we came neare unto the door below, ſhe ſuddenly20 flung up ſtaires unto the next chamber above, and ſhut her ſelfe in: Whereupon her Husband took the great iron forke in his hand, and run up after her, threatning to beat down the door, if ſhe would not open it. Who ſeeing him reſolute ſo to doe, at length opened the doore and let them in; her Husband then getting betwixt her and the door, they both kneeled, and Mr Dod (as his cuſtome in great matters was) kneeled and went to prayer without ſpeaking of one word unto her: at which time ſhee ſtood and would not kneele, untill the latter end of the ſame, when ſhee alſo conformed her ſelfe, and kneeled with them. Prayer being done, Mr Dod ſaid nothing unto her, but in her hearing uttered ſome ſpeeches concerning her Caſe,21 unto her Husband, tending unto her comfort and encouragement for her to make uſe off: and ſo did both before and at dinner, expecting from her ſome ſpeeches to have given ſome pertinent occaſion for further diſcourſe with her, which ſhee at that time omitting, he ſupplied with other ſeaſonable diſcourſes for her good, touching his experiences in the like kinde, of the Devils ſuttleties and the danger of keeping his councell, with the advantages accrewing unto him thereby; whereunto ſhee patiently attended. Dinner being done, he being asked in his chamber at her houſe (where hee now was perſwaded to lodge) what he thought of the buſineſſe? made this gratious hopefull Reply; very well, becauſe the Devill was afraid, run away, and durſt not ſtand to it.
22Shee ſeemes to neglect and depiſe prayer.That night after ſhee was a bed, he was brought in by her husband to pray by her; but ſhee ſeem'd as though ſhee would not hear, hid her ſelfe over head and eares in the bed: notwithſtanding which he went on conſtantly in his determination unto the end thereof. The next day at his comming, hee ſet in to ſpeak with her; at which time ſhee replyed nimbly and ſtrongly, uſing to purpoſe all, or much of the Devills rhethorike taught her againſt her ſelfe; yea, and alledged many Scriptures,Strange. which ſhee had never read, but only as tumbling and toſſing over the Bible (as her cuſtome was) to finde places againſt her ſelfe, ſhee had hit upon many; which by her nimbleneſſe and ſtrength of wit and Satans help, ſhee had learned to wreſt, and preſſe hard againſt23 her ſelfe. A ſad ſore and wofull condition for the time.But in all her diſcourſes with him, the upſhot of all ſtill was, That ſhee was a damned Reprobate, muſt needs goe unto Hell to live for ever; that her heart was harder then an Adamant or Anvile, that God had forſaken her, and given her over unto a reprobate ſenſe, her hard heart could not repent, and that in all her actions ſhee but heapt up wrath againſt the day of wrath to her further condemnation; and that in that ſhee could not grieve, nor be ſorrowfull for that wofull eſtate ſhee was now in, this ſhew the deſperateneſſe thereof; that it was in vaine, and too late for her to uſe any meanes: and therefore, that ſhee would uſe none, nor ever goe to Church againe. That it was needleſse, fruitleſſe and in vaine, for him or any body elſe to looſe their time or labor any more with her or her24 occaſions, the Decree of her rejection and damnation being paſt and irrevocable: And therefore, all her comfort and portion being in this life, ſhee was reſolved to ſpend the remainder of her time in all jollity and merriment, denying her ſelfe of no wordly comforts; and therefore, wiſhed him to let her alone, for it was impoſsible for him to doe her any good, nor ſhee would not either be ruled or adviſed by him; with a great deale of the like ſcurvie rotten ſtuffe, and that ſhee was quite deſtitute of all naturall affection unto Husband, Father, Mother, Children, and every body elſe, having in briefe no love either to God or man; and therefore perſwaded him to leave her, not to pray for her, nor come any more at her.
Here was a ſad diſcourſe, with heavie accuſations againſt her ſelf,25 had all been true; but the Devill being a lyar, and the Father of lies, made her thus fiercely and unjuſtly accuſe and charge her ſelfe in ſuch rigor: for even then ſhee feared Hell fire, quaking ſometimes, and trembling at it, venting her ſelfe unto her friends in private, and weeping bitterly, ſhee uſed to ſay, O doe not yee pity me, who muſt goe to live in Hell torments for ever? Beſides,A ſtrange hypocri•e unuſuall. even then ſhee was pitifull and mercifull unto others, but in ſecret ſo hid and clokt with words and ſhewes of the contrary, that it was treaſon againſt her for any ſhe entruſted, to bewray any part or parcell of her goodneſſe; becauſe ſhee would gladly have beene thought paſt hope, and praying for, which made her earneſtly to begge of every one not to pray for her, it being that the26 Devill aymed at, that ſhee might, paſt hope,A new invention of Satan. finally diſpaire. For, for two years together, by her goodwill will ſhee would not bee prayd for, uſing many times at her Mothers uſuall time of Prayer to ſend ſuddenly for her, of purpoſe to interrupt her, who if ſhee came not preſently, as ſent for; when ſhee came, asking her pleaſure, ſhee uſed to reply, now I have nothing to ſay unto you, for you have been at your Matins. But to return to Mr Dods progreſſe with her; It was yet none at all, ſhe remained ſtill the ſame, ſeemed not to hear or regard his ſpeeches and words ſpoken; would laugh and jeſt at all he ſaid in deriſion: In her thoughts likening him unto Ananias, one whom at a play in the Black-Friers ſhee ſaw ſcoft at, for a holy brother of Amſterdam; and when he27 look pitifully upon her and reprove her for ſuch ſtrange carriages and ſpeeches, telling her what a ſhamefull thing it was, ſo to laugh and jeſt at heavenly things; ſhee uſually Replyed, Why then, ſeeing you ſee what a wicked creature I am, why doe you trouble your ſelfe any more with me?
Divers faſts were kept for her in private,Another of his ſubtile devices. the next Chamber above hers, both then and divers times after, in midſt whereof the Devill ſo made her reſtleſſe, that ſhee would come up to the doore, diſturbe them, of purpoſe, and make them believe that if the deſiſted not, ſhe would throw her ſelf down ſtaires headlong. Yea once ſhee being a bed, and he at prayer, ſhe to make him leave off, took a bed-ſtaffe, and threatned to knock him on the head, but did not. All theſe28 and many moe tricks the Devill uſed, ſtill upon occaſion to ſerve his turne, changing his weapons, ſo as ſcarcely could it be known at what ward to finde him long: ſo to ſhew his malice, did he change his poſture and weapons.
Now ſhee would toughly diſpute the buſineſſe,She holds faſt her dolefull concluſions. but all to no purpoſe, ſhe retaining thoſe deviliſh concluſions faſtned in her ſtill. So that Mr Dod wearied out thus, having ſtaied a Moneth with her departed home, ſtayed away a Moneth and returned againe, doing thus three or foure times together: yet found no amendement, but ſtill the ſame arguments ſtiffely maintained over and over againe a hundred times together, without any good (in ſhew) effect upon her, who could not in two yeares time be won or perſwaded29 to come to Church or Sacrament, or to uſe any meanes at all; but carried her ſelfe as a deſperate forlorne creature, notwithſtanding which the over-coming thoughts and terrors of Hell did much affright her; ſo as gladly ſhe would have had a doore of hope opened unto her:A nice prety ſtory, proving that ſhe wiſht for ſalvation. For, a Kitchin-Maide ſhe kept, who had both wit and memory enough to do and retaine a meſſage; ſhee would uſually ſend unto divers Preachers with Meſſages of enquiry touching her (concealing her name,) Whether ſuch and ſuch a creature, without Faith, Hope, love to God or man, hard-hearted, without naturall affection, who had rejected all meanes, nor could perform any, or ſubmit unto the ſame, with many the like aggravations (bad enough you may imagine) yet might have any hope to go30 to heaven? Who ſtill brought unto her ſuch returns tending to hopefull encouragement: that ſuch like and much worſe (though as bad as Manaſſeth) might by the mercy of God be received into favour, converted and ſaved, which privately did much allay her ſpirit; for no worſer returns of her ſecret meſſages were brought unto her from any ſhee had ſent unto.
For all this,A further extent of the Devils malice. yet did the Devill hold her cloſe unto his maine end of deſperation, to have made her ſelf away: For ſhe ſwallowed down many great pins, ſo to have diſpatch't her ſelfe; all which by Gods mercy without hurting paſſed through her: And being forbid Oranges (as naught for her) ſhee made ſhift by the foreſaid Maide to have forty brought unto her, ſo to have ſped her ſelfe;31 but it ſo pleaſed God, that theſe proved excellent medicines unto her, purging away abundance of black ugly filthy matter, which made her to look much better. Shee uſed alſo now and then•at meales, to ſhift a knife ſecretly in a napkin, and then to ſlip it up in then inſide of her arme; but being watched and taken therewith ſhee left off ſo doing, thus continuing, untill ſhee had in a manner wearied out every body: for, the ſhorter the Devils reign was, he played the more tricks, making her by fits to be the more raging and troubleſome unto her ſelfe and others.
A ſtrange farewell.Now as is ſaid, Mr Dod in a manner wearied out with her, as he was about to goe home for a while, and to take leave, ſhe gave unto him this rude farewell, To pray him to get him gone, to return32 no more unto her, enquiring at him what warrant he had, being a holy religious man, who ſhould give good example unto others, to leave his Calling, Houſe and Family ſo long, and to come to her, where he was but an unwelcome Intruder, having no hope to doe her any good? Which ſpeech was ſo ſet on with ſuch an edge of vehemencie (ſpoken as it appeared againſt her will to prove him only) bred in him ſuch aſtoniſhment, as reſolving to follow her counſell, hee made her this ſhort Reply, That this was but a bad requitall of all his paines and love unto her, to have no more thanks for his labour, but to be chid out of doores, that hee was very ſenſible of her reproofe and diſmiſsion, and therefore meant hereafter to ſtay at home, and look unto his own matters, not troubling her any more:33 Which ſpeech it ſeemed touched her to the quick; for though to diſcourage him and trie him, ſhe had made him ſuch an untoward ſpeech, yet was ſhee inwardly very ſorry for what was done: Only before his departure, ſhee took him aſide, deſiring to ſpeak with him in private; when ſhee told him, that now ere his departure ſhee would deale freely with him, and ſhew the cauſe and ground of all her diſtempers and trouble, and what juſt cauſe ſhee had thus to have complained, as hopeleſſe, enjoyning him ſilence. A way opened for her cure.And ſo in her own chamber, none but he being preſent, ſhe opened her whole heart ſincerely, ſo as hee perceived that ſhee had concealed nothing from him of all that was in her heart; which made (now that the Devils counſell was out and diſcloſed)34 to conceive good hope of her recovery.
For this quite marres, and is in danger to over throw all ſuch perſons,Danger of conceiling the Devils counſell. whilſt the Devill ſo holds them in bondage, as to make them conceal his counſell all the while, having this advantage thereby, as to make mountaines of mole-hils, and of mole-hils to make mighty mountains; never ſuffering them to come unto the knowledge of the quality and nature of their diſeaſe, whilſt the thing oppreſſing and ſeeming great unto them, is uſually little, and nothing at all in reſpect of that he makes it; ſometimes but a lie, a deluſion, ſuch as the parties themſelves upon ſuch diſcoveries in relating become aſhamed of; As in ſome ſort it fell out with this good womans Caſe, which was nothing in a manner in35 regard of that the Devil urged and perſwaded her; it was, he proving a ſtrong lyer unto her, and his ſuggeſtion only a meare falſe illuſion as will hereafter appear. Then unto all that which ſhee had then vented unto him, he then made her only this generall Reply, That ſhe was much miſtaken and deluded in the quality, kinde and nature of her Caſe, that the Devill had thus far tormented her ſpirit with a ſtrong abuſe in corrupting her judgement; and encenſing her ſo unjuſtly againſt her ſelfe, ſetting her affections on fire, by his injected wild-fire temptations. That he made no doubt of her recovery; but that now being acquainted with her Caſe and minde, hee would goe home and conſult with God what were fitteſt anſwers for the ſame; returning ere long againe if God were ſo pleaſed:36 then to endeavor to ſatisfie and heal all her doubtings: In the meane time, untill then, enjoyning her chearefulneſſe, patience, moderation in all things before her Husband and Parents, and to attempt no more violence againſt her ſelfe; all which ſhee faithfully promiſed and kept.
Still ſhee holds the maine concluſion.Hee being gone, in his abſence ſhee carried her ſelfe diſcreetly and modeſtly, not refuſing to ſpeak with any of thoſe Divines who in the interim came to viſit her; and would ſit and diſpute with them a long time together, but ſtill in the old bias, holding her ſtrong maine concluſions, the fabrick whereof appeared to be ſo ſtrongly rooted in her, that they ſeemed unremoveable, all who, as appeared, did no good unto her, ſave ſo much as they could to perſwade37 her from ſuch ſtiffe peremptory concluſions againſt her ſelfe, and from prying into Gods ſecrets, preſuming to know thoſe things which God in this life reveales not unto any, but reſerves as his own high prerogative, only to know what his decree is touching the everlaſting ſtate of the Creature to come: affirming that this knowledge which ſhe pretended to have thereof was falſe, and that this revelation, was only known in the ſanctified uſe of meanes, which ſhee ſo farre refuſed, as ſhe could not be perſwaded to goe to Church by any, though they much urged her unto it: Only now ſhe would kneele and joyn in prayer with them, but by no meanes in ſinging of any Pſalme, which ſhee affirmed not to belong unto any in her Caſe, being now38 very ſad and retired, and now and then in weeping fits, and ſometimes in ſhewes of jollity and mirth, ſo by turnes it pleaſed her to out-face her preſent miſery.
Patience, moderation and milde dealing much prevails with ſuch.But this as a Catholicon we obſerve in dealing with her, that the more patient we were, to ſuffer her to complaine and bemoane her ſelfe, repeat one thing over a hundred times as ſhee uſed, over and over again, giving her good words, uſing much meekneſſe, affability and ſervice unto her, even in her moſt untoward croſſe carriages, this got much ground upon her ſpirit, and brought her to doe many things which no harſh croſſeneſſe could poſſibly effect with her. And therefore this couſe was now taken, not to vex her any more, or urge her with perſwaſions to goe to Church, or to doe any thing39 ſo diſpleaſing unto her, but to goe along with her ſpirit, with patience abounding with love, mercy, good words and the like, untill ſhee were convinced in judgement, when they needed not to hale or pull her, Duties would then come off freely: For indeed, this is the undoing of many poore ſouls in the like, or any diſtempers, to chide, rate, and urge them to much; which is a croſſe way, diſpleaſing and unproſperous, yea, diſproportionable unto that courſe Chriſt takes (whom wee ſhould imitate) not to break the bruiſed reed, nor quench the ſmoaking flax; and a croſſe way, To make judgement return unto victory: In which Caſe, Iacobs pace with his flocks, with ſuch, is the beſt and ſafeſt way to drive them gently; eſpecially thoſe who are with40 young, in whom Chriſt is now but abreeding and forming, that ſo he may (as the Prophet ſpeaks, Iſa. 53) ſee of the travell of his ſoule, and be ſatisfied: And indeed, ſuch harſh ſpirits who are too quick with ſuch poor ſouls being too nimble with them before they know their diſeaſe, are but like rude Surgions, or unskilfull Phyſitians, who venter to give phyſick before they know the ground of the diſeaſe; who many times in place of curing, doe either kill, or ſo much the more ulcer their wounds.
Hitherto we have ſeen Satan malicious,A change in her occaſions. violent, ſubtile, various in his temptations, changing ſhapes, by all meanes ſtriving to have overthrown this good ſoule ▪ abuſe her judgement, affections, fancy, and beſt reaſon to fight againſt her ſelfe; notwithſtanding41 all which, the Lord miraculouſly preſerved her, was with her in, and brought her through this fiery affliction, to wonder and admiration: Wherefore, if the Reader will have a little more patience, he ſhall ſee how the Lord overthrew all thoſe ſtrong holds, which the enemy had by his wildfire unreſiſted temptions, and fiery darts injected in this good creature; which being not preſently caſt forth againe (as wildfire ſhould be) thus enflamed her affections and endeavours againſt her ſelfe; as in part hath been and God willing ſhall be related.
Tempta ∣ tion. 1For firſt, he faſtned this temptation upon her, as his great maine Bulwork, That ſhe had ſinned that great unpardonable ſinne againſt the holy Ghoſt; and therefore, that it was in vaine for her, either to uſe42 any meanes for ſalvation, or hope for it; and therefore, that it were fruitleſſe and in vaine for her to heare the word, read, pray and the like; which hee wonderfull faſtly had radicated in her.
Tempta ∣ tion. 2Hereupon, hee inferred that by Gods Decree ſhee was a Reprobate, a caſt away, appointed for damnation; being ſhee was ſuch a hard-hearted impenitent ſinner, not being able to repent: and therefore was a treaſurer up in all ſhee did of wrath againſt the day of wrath and the revelation of Gods juſt Judgements againſts her: and therefore, ſeeing that ſhee muſt eternally periſh, living for heaping up ſin only for aggravation of her puniſhments, therefore to make her ſelfe away, the ſooner the better: which temptation a long time ſtuck faſt, ſeeming unremovable.
43Tempta ∣ tion. 3From whence Satan made this third deduction (like a Sophiſticall Logitian, begging the Queſtion) that therefore now it was in vaine to uſe any meanes at all; but ſeeing her portion was now only in this life, therefore to deny her ſelfe no manner of pleaſures or jollity and mirth, but to caſt off all theſe ſad and ſoure things of holy duties performing, which were to no purpoſe, now that the irrevocable Decree was paſt, which was unchangeable: And therefore, if ſhee ſhould bee ſaved ſhee ſhould bee ſaved howſoever, and that God would ſoften her heart, and give her grace to uſe the meanes: But that the fearefulneſſe of her eſtate did ſhew (hee ſuggeſted) the contrary, that all her endeavors would prove in vaine; this ſtuck hard a long time.
44Now againſt any of theſe, nothing could bee faſtned upon her againſt them, which was not preſently ſhook off again: But eſpecially in that firſt mentioned of the Sin againſt the Holy Ghoſt, herein ſhee kept cloſe the Devils counſell, revealing the ſame at firſt unto none, but unto Mr Dod; though afterwards of her ſelfe three years after, being in a good humor, ſhee acquainted the Relator herewith; and more alſo then he hath thought fit to vent abroad (as unneceſſary) giving him leave to publiſh and make known after her death ſo much of her Caſe as might in ſome ſuch miſery be uſefull unto others.
After this Mr Dod at his appointed time returned, having ſeriouſly pondered all her buſineſs, & digeſted the ſame, and was joyfully45 welcomed of her friends, though by her in a muddy ſtrange way (former tentations by that time, having againe growne ſomewhat ſtrong upon her) when yet hee in his uſuall mercifull way, cheared her up, encouraging her what poſſibly he could. And ſo in ſome few dayes after fell flatly upon the buſineſſe, how to beat down and convince her erroneous opinions wherein ſhee was ſo ſetled, and wherein ſhee thought her ſelfe moſt ſecure in her owne judgement, unremoveably ſetled.
The ſinne againſt the Holy Ghoſt diſcuſſed and ſtated.The maine & grand matter troubling her, and quite unhooking her off from all manner of duties (as hath been ſaid) was, That ſhe had ſinned that unpardonable ſin againſt the holy Ghoſt, which ſhee firmly believed: Whereunto Maſter Dod thus replyed, directly croſſing all46 her thoughts herein, in the negative, affirming that ſhe neither had ſinned this ſinne, nor was ever hitherto ſo qualified, as to be guilty thereof; which ſeemed unto her very ſtrange to prove, but was eaſily done. For, he ſhewed unto her, our of Heb. 6.4. That thoſe who commit that ſin fight againſt their convinced enlighting, having taſted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, having alſo taſted of the heavenly gift, being made partakers of the holy Ghoſt; who in their practiſe crucifie to themſelves the Sonne of God afreſh, and put him to an open ſhame; and trample upon the blood of the Covenant, maliciouſly oppoſing the known truth, in a conſtant courſe remorſeleſſe unto the end: having lived & thriven under powerfull means, which47 yet they ſlight, maliciouſly and purpoſly oppoſe and perſecute. But that ſhee being ſtill in her natural eſtate,A ſtrong aſſumption. by her own confeſſion being farre from this enlightning, never having taſted of this heavenly gift, nor of the powers of the world to come, was never thus qualified, and ſo had never, neither could have committed this ſinne: ſo that her temptations and feares in this kinde were but meer deluſions onely. And for that other ſort who committed this ſinne, without the former inward illumination and taſte, ſuch as were the Scribes and Phariſees, Julian the Apoſtate, and the like, who maliciouſly perſecuted and blaſphemed Chriſt, notwithſtanding that by his Doctrine and Miracles they were convinced of his Diety; of this he ſhewed her, ſhee could not48 be guilty of, All ſhe could alleadge againſt her ſelfe, conſiſting only in a matter of thoughts, which could not without action and former qualification bee that ſinne, or within the compaſſe thereof: Which were only things wrapt up in that we call (tentatio Foeda) ſtrange injected thoughts of God, as Rom. 1.23. repreſenting him to the fancy in abominable ſimilitudes, likening him unto the vileſt and baſeſt things; which were only Satans wild fire tentations; for which ſeeing ſhee even then, and ſince, abominated them, being ſorry for them, Satan muſt anſwer for, they being hers no further then as ſhee entertained and allowed of them. And alſo, that theſe thoughts being thought of and injected betwixt the top and bottome of the hill whereupon her Fathers houſe49 ſtood, never breaking forth into any ſpeech or action which ſhee was ſorry for, could not be any ſuch ſinne as ſhee imagined; and therfore prayed her to content her ſelfe and to reſt ſatisfied, and not ſuffer the Devill to delude and torment her any more in this kinde.
All this diſcourſe ſhee heard willingly without replication untill he had finiſhed what he would ſay, when ſhee being very rationall and convinced of the truth of what hee had delivered, acknowledged her error, and Satans deluſion, promiſing no more to entertaine any ſuch like thoughts of that ſinne,A further complaint. But withall ſhee told him, that it was no matter for this, though ſhee were free thereof, yet ſhe had other ſinnes enough to damne her, and was aſſuredly a Reprobate50 and caſt away, being ſhee could not love God, nor any other creature, being devoid of all naturall affection, and given over to a Reprobate ſenſe, ſo as ſhee was moſt certaine that the Decree of God againſt her was paſt, being that ſhee had no heart or power to performe any holy duty, but was like a creature ſtarke dead, yea twice dead, good for nothing but for hell fire; wherewith ſhee ſometimes would laugh and ſmile; but wee muſt conceive that even in the midſt of this laughter the heart was ſad; for in private not long after ſhee would have ſore fits of weeping.
In vaine it was now to diſpute with her,Knowledge of Gods Decree denyed unto any one. or perſwade her in any thing untill her judgement was convinced & rectified in that matter of the Decree of God: For ſhee flung off all with ſeeming aſſurance51 of her knowledge being ſure that the Decree of her reprobation was paſt, of her rejection whereof ſhe was ſure and certaine: Therefore, this being the next ſtrong hold to be battered down, he bent in the next place all his ſtrength this way, Denying unto her that it was poſsible either for the Devill, or any other creature to know the Decree of God, either for ſalvation or reprobation; but that this revelation came in the uſe of meanes God bleſſing the ſame; for which cauſe all muſt uſe the meanes who would bee ſaved, not medling with the Decree of God, nor prying into his ſecrets; for which then was alledged that excellent Scripture, Deut. 30.12. That what they were to performe and know, Was not in heaven, that we ſhould ſay, Who ſhall goe up for us to heaven, and52 bring it unto us, that we may heare it and doe it: Neither is it beyond the ſea, that thou ſhouldeſt ſay, Who ſhall goe over the ſea for us? &c. But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart that thou mayeſt doe it. Further hee urged, that if thus much were certainly know by her, he ſhewed her,Argu ∣ ment. 1it muſt be by a Spirit of revelation; demanding of her, what ſpirit had revealed thus much unto her? If the ſpirit of the Devill (as it could bee no other) then he was a liar and the father of lies, as Chriſt Ioh. 8.44. ſpeaks, hee ſpeaking of his own and not from God, therefore not to believed. And as the for the Spirit of God (he ſhewed) who only ſearches knowes and reveales unto us the deep things of God, 1 Cor. 2.10. none but hee knowing the things of God, not53 any creature, This holy Spirit (he ſhewed her) had no ſuch office aſſigned him of Chriſt in the word to be a ſpirit of diſcouragement to revealed reprobation, being the Comforter appointed to lead the Saints in all Truth, to reveale and tell things to come and teach us all things, Ioh. 14.26. Argu ∣ ment. 2This were directly againſt his nature, miſſion, and office, and the Decree of God, Thus to beat men off the uſe of meanes, diſcouraging them in the good way, who muſt wait and lie at the doore of mercy ſtill, untill the Lords good time and pleaſure were revealed and known in the uſe of meanes. And this alſo was preſſ'd unto her further,Argu ∣ ment. 3what a horrible blaſphemy and impiety it were, either to honour the Devill ſo farre, or aſſume unto her ſelfe by his meanes, the knowledge54 of things to come; this being that which was only proper unto Iehovah himſelfe, by his ſpirit to ſhew and reveale; adviſing her to beware in this kinde, not to encreaſe the wrath of God againſt her, ſeeing God, Iſa. 44.7. & 46.10. differencing himſelfe from Idols, and all their diſcoveries, is to know things that are come and a comming, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that were not yet done: From all which iſſued this deduction, that ſhee was infinitly abuſed in this ſtrange conception, and that the Devill or ſhee from him were not certaine of any things to come (unleſſe revealed by the Spirit of God) ſhee having from thence no ſuch revelation; that therefore ſhe was by Satan utterly cozened and abuſed in the matter of Gods55 Decree, and ſo was bound to uſe the meanes, truſt and wait upon God therein; ſhee being his creature, to let him do what he pleaſed with her, either in life or death.
This ſtrong fiery dart thus repulſed quenched, ſhee became alſo convinced in this point, that only God (not the Devill) could reveale his owne Counſels and Decrees; and therefore, that perhaps ſhee might bee deceived in this her ſtrong confidence in that kinde: But ſtill retaining the third, That her indiſpoſition unto all manner of goodneſſe,Satan holds hard having once got ground. proneneſſe unto all manner of evill, her naturall temper and compoſition of minde, not able to uſe any meanes, or take any paines for heaven, too evidently demonſtrated that ſhee had no part or portion there, and therefore that ſhe had better leave off all then labor56 in vaine:Anſw. 1Hereunto anſwer was made, That God though he had Decreed to ſave mankinde by the meanes of a Mediator, yet in his good wiſe Providence had ſo ordered the conveyance of our ſalvation (as Auſtin ſpeaks) that he who made us without us,The uſe of meanes is ſtrongly preſſed upon her, to bee ſaved. will not ſave us without us: & therefore that all our life time we muſt be humble ſutors, labourers after, endeavourers and ſtrivers after that ſalvation which he hath appointed for us, uſing all thoſe meanes conſtantly, and not to lie ſtill in a ditch without endeavouring to riſe, and to cry Lord help us; ſuch a one hee told her did worthily periſh. It was further now alſo preſſ'd unto her, that God now after that miracle of all miracles, in the ſending his Sonne to aſſume our fleſh and ſave us, now ordinarily57 wrought not the ſame miraculouſly, but by ordinary concurring meanes and endeavours revealed in the word; that as thoſe who in the Wilderneſſe were ſtung by the fiery Serpents, were not healed unleſſe they looked up unto the Brazen Serpent; no more any now could obtaine ſalvation unleſſe they believed in chriſt, its antitype:Argu ∣ ment or motive. 1And that therefore, if ſhe uſed not the meanes, but rejected and wilfully withſtood the ſame, as there was no hope any way of ſalvation; ſo if ſhe uſed the meanes, there being hope, and many promiſes annexed to the ſame, there was good hope of her ſalvation;Argu ∣ ment or motive. 2And put the caſe (which hee denyed) that ſhe muſt needs periſh; yet much better it were to periſh in a way of obedience and duty full of hope all the way, and uſually ſucceſſefull,58 whereunto were annexed many promiſes wherein the truth of god who cannot lie, but is faithfull in all his promiſes is engaged, then in a wilfull way of diſobedience. Argu ∣ ment or motive. 3That all experiences ſince the beginning of the world have ſhewed, that it never yet was in vaine, or unſucceſſefull, but alwayes advantageous and proſperous to uſe the meanes, waite and depend upon God; yea, though it were as long and longer then the impotent man, Ioh. 5. lay at the poole of Betheſda, ere hee had help: And therefore ſeeing her caſe was now juſt like thoſe foure Leapers who ſate at the Gate of Samaria, 2 Kin. 4. Motive 4Note: preſſed home.Who being like to periſh in that great famine, reſolved, if, and ſince they muſt needs periſh, if they ſate ſtill there; but if they adventured into the Campe of the59 Aramites, they might peradventure be ſaved, (at the worſt but die) at their approach thither, finding the Amarites fled, they had choyce of the ſpoyle. So if ſhee uſed not the meanes, but deſpiſed them, ſhee muſt of neceſſity periſh; but if uſed, ſhee might no queſtion be ſaved. And ſo to this effect were urged thoſe places, Micah. 2.7. O thou that art called by the name of the houſe of Jacob, is the Spirit of the Lord ſtraigthned? and thoſe his doings? doe not my words doe good to them that walk uprightly? and this, Seek yee the Lord, all yee meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgement: ſeek Righteouſneſſe and ſeek meekneſſe; It may bee yee ſhall bee hid in the day of the Lords anger, Zeph. 2.3. And ſo that of Amos 4.12. Therefore this will60 I doe unto thee, O Iſrael, and becauſe I will doe theſe things unto thee, prepare thy ſelfe to meet thy God O Iſrael: even that God who is ſaid, Amos 5.8. to turn the ſhadow of death into the morning; all which put her on ſtrongly unto the matter of endevour, ſeeing as it is, Micah. 4.12. None know the thoughts of the Lord, neither underſtand they his counſell: ſo that their being a poſſibility for ought ſhee could know to uſe the meanes as ſhe was able; there was an abſolute neceſſity for her to ſubmit her ſelfe unto the meanes.
Theſe and the like things thus deliverd, did much amaze her ſpirit to have beene thus farre deluded and miſtaken in her own Caſe, and wherein ſhee was ſo ſetled, reſolute and confident; unto all61 which ſhee at length made this Reply,Her convinced anſwer. That now ſhe was convinced and did certainly believe, that none but God knew things that were to come; that ſhee had erred in judgement in ſo thinking of her ſelfe: That the deſperate Caſe and eſtate ſhee was in had cauſed her to make ſuch concluſions againſt her ſelfe: That now ſhee believed the Devill had no knowledge of Gods Decrees, concerning the everlaſting eſtate of the creature, no more then pleaſed God to reveale unto him: That ſhe was contented to do what ſhee could in uſing of the meanes, if ſhee might bee aſſured to reape any benefit thereby: But that the accidentall indiſpoſition both of her body and minde were ſuch, as ſhee in this Caſe could doe nothing to help her ſelfe, no more then a ſtark dead creature could; and therefore,62 that God muſt doe all; in which Caſe, if hee were ſo pleaſed to give unto her ſtrength and grace to work, then ſhee would, otherwiſe ſhe could doe nothing: a ſore temptation, which even untill her laſt ſhe could hardly ſhake off.
Anſw. Hereupon he Replyed, that God as was ſaid, wrought by meanes, and that ſhee was bound to read the Word diligently, to pray, heare the ſame, meditate and conferre thereof: That this was Gods way and appointed meanes, to make even ſuch dead creatures live, as ſhee pretended her ſelfe to be as it is Ioh. 5. That the time then was, and was a comming, when the dead ſhould heare the voyce of the Son of God, and thoſe who heard his voice ſhould live: Wherefore, ſeeing that their was ſuch a mervellous63 efficacy in hearing of the Word and uſe of meanes, (Wherein the power of the Spirit, did co-operate to make the ſame effectuall) There was an abſolute neceſſity to uſe the meanes for the attaining of ſalvation, or elſe one were thus guilty of their owne damnation in wilfull rejecting and refuſing of the meanes: Unto all which, her anſwer was,Her further anſwers. That ſhee had no power ſo to doe, but when that God would enable her, then ſhee would: Yet hee prayd her, to read the Word and pray as ſhee could and the like, which ſhee refuſed, alleadging that ſhe could not pray; and for reading of the Word, to what purpoſe were that, ſo to read her own damnation, or to heare judgements and arraignments againſt her ſelfe; that ſhee was better as ſhee was; and therefore64 prayd him to urge her no more in this kinde, untill God were pleaſed to work ſomewhat in her, with abilities ſo to doe, which (if hee had a purpoſe to ſave her) hee would ſurely doe.
Shee is brought off and from the third grand temptation.But for his paines and for his conviction of her judgement, rectifying of her from thoſe fore-mentioned errors ſhee gave him thanks, promiſing no more to torment her ſelfe with cogitations of them; for ſhe was ſatisfied in the Sinne againſt the Holy Ghoſt, in the matter of the Decree; and in Satan or her ignorance of any things to come, his knowledge to be none at all: But that for the preſent, here ſhee muſt reſt, no further ſhee could poſsibly goe, wiſhing him to ſhare himſelfe from being any more vexed with her untowardneſſe
65Hee much abaſhed at her present diſtemper, and reſolute ſhew of ſtoutneſſe and ſtiffeneſſe of Spirit; yet was not diſcouraged, ſeeing he had got ſo much ground of Satan, as to beat her from her former ſtrong holds, hoping in time alſo to performe the reſt, which ſeemed a tough task to effect: becauſe the indiſpoſition and melancholy temper of her body was ſuch as hindered much the works, ſhee therewith being averſe unto Phyſick. Therefore,Diſcretion not to preſſe too much at once. he reſolved for that time, to depart home and preſſe no more upon her at that time, but give her time to ruminate and think upon thoſe things delivered, hoping to finde her in a better tune at his return, and ſo accordingly giving charge to watch her diligently, in a milde and loving way, after he had given66 her many and good Exhortations to uſe the means & to have a good conceit of God, he departed, becauſe at this time hee would not tyre or overload her, or more new toyle out himſelfe.
Satan is not idle, a new ſtorme ariſes.A little after his departure ſhe began then to bee ſomewhat in the old poſture of frowardneſſe and diſtemper, uttering many times deſperate ſpeeches and hopeleſſe, ſtill refuſing all meanes; ſaying, that all were but in vaine: And was ſo farre gone this way, That the great ſnow, and all the diſaſtrous direfull events hapning abroad anywhere, ſhee ſaid were all long of her, and for her ſake, ſhe guilty of them, and that things would never bee better ſo long as ſhee were alive: For then indeed Santan taking advantage of her melancholy temper, wrought her67 much woe thereby, making her thus over-charge and accuſe her ſelfe, and endeavoring to have brought her back againe unto her former errors: So that now much adoe there was with her, to ſtay, ſupport, or allay that accidentall fierceneſſe, which now thoſe new diſtractions brought upon her; which bred much griefe unto her Husband, Parents and Friends, but was not ſo to be wondered at, that Satan ſhould cauſe unto her or them ſo much diſquietneſſe by his inceſſant new tentations, ſteering his time in Mr Dods abſence, to regaine his diſpoſſeſſed hold, or drive her unto finall deſperation.
In, or neere this interim ſhee was viſited by divers worthy Miniſters about the Town, amongſt whom was that famous worthy68 man, Dr uſher, ſince Primate of Ireland, a magzine of all knowledge and learning, a powerfull plaine Preacher, none like him in ſetting forth Chriſt in his high perfections and ſurmounting excellencies, and in pointing the right ſtraight next way unto him; and withall as a very wiſe ſtout man, ſo the mildeſt humbleſt and meekeſt man alive, of his infinite reading, knowledge, and parts: This worthy man many times did viſite her, would intreat, perſwade, open Chriſt unto her, magnified the riches of Gods mercy that way extended unto the ſonnes of men; ſhewing the freeneſſe of the gift of God this way, and that none were debarred, who did not wilfully exclude themſelves, with much meekneſſe and mildneſſe endeavoring to winne her ſpirit unto a reall69 embracing of thoſe tenders of grace made unto her in the uſe of meanes; whom ſhee willingly heard, delighted to hear ſpeak; but withall ſtill kept within the road of her old bias,Her anſwer unto him. her inability to performe holy duties or endeavor that way; that all theſe were excellent things he ſpoke of touching Chriſt, for them unto whom they belonged, but ſhe had no ſhare therein for for ought ſhee knew ſhee ſaid: but yet uſed ſhee him alwayes with much love, reverence and reſpect, in whatſoever temper ſhee was in, endeavouring ſtill to give him all content and reſpect; and he being wiſe and judicious, ſeeing the temper of her ſpirit, a great work to bee wrought, the iſſue whereof time muſt ſhew, to bee effected by degrees, did not much preſſe upon her ſpirit, or much70 urge her unto any thing, being contented when he came to her to drop upon her many ſweet diſtilling ſhowers of precious ſpeeches; leaving them to work after he were gone.
And now alſo about this time,Her excounter with Mr Forbs. came to viſite her another worthy Miniſter, whom the Relater brought to ſee her and judge of her Caſe; a wiſe, acute, learned, diſcreet man, of great judgement and parts, one Mr Iohn Forbs, Miniſter at Middleborrow for the Merchants. This man having firſt a great while viewed her and ſaid nothing, at length broke ſilence & told her, that he had heard of her trouble and diſcouragements, and therefore had come to tender his ſervice unto her, to try if any thing were within the compaſſe of his power wherein hee were able to71 ſerve here: Shee curteouſly gave him thanks, but withall told him that her Caſe and doome was already determined and paſt, and therefore there was no good to bee done by any one unto her: Yet ſeeing him ſo an acute ſharp quick witty man, ſhee was pleaſed to have a ſtrong bout of diſcourſe with him alone, walking at her houſe in Eſher Gallery, where having toughly diſputed with her a long time and no good to be done, but thwarted with many ſtrong uncouth objections and Scriptures, ſophiſtically applyed by her, beyond the skill or ſtrength of her own ſpirit or wit as hee judged, he confeſſed ſhe was too hard now on a ſudden for him. So at one bout having the better of her in a diſcourſe of Faith, he broke off laughing, with a jeſt, called72 her Husband near by an ſaid, Sir, now I can ſtay no longer, but I will ſtudy how to anſwer you Wives Arguments, and will now leave her in a good eſtate: (In faith, profeſsing infidelity,) who having taken his leave and departed: The Relator enquired what his judgement was of her and her Caſe? Who made this anſwer, That it was the ſtrangeſt that ever hee had ſeen, heard or read ofA ſtrange preſaging Cenſure. That the Lord had ſome ſtrange work to doe by her, but whether in mercy or judgement hee could not determine: no more hee would come to viſite her, nor could be drawn unto it.
Upon this her late diſtemper and untowardneſſe, the good old man Mr Dod being againe ſent for and come, was notwithſtanding entertained by her in ſhew lovingly,73 yet with a ſad louring countenance by and by accompanied therewith, as though hee had not been welcome; which he in his uſuall chearfull manner not regarding, uſing her with all meekneſſe and love, which he found gained much upon her ſpirit; after which having diſcourſed, & two or three dayes prayed with her, and for her, ſhee began to mend, but yet could not be perſwaded to read, pray by her ſelfe, or goe to Chruch; wherefore hee thought it expedient to leave urging thereof, untill her judgement were convinced therein: which was the next work to be done, a tough taske to effect, and which ſhee ſtrongly oppoſed and withſtood by one maine Argument (being beaten off from all her other ſhifts) which was this out of Rom. 14. ult.
74Object. Whatſoever is not of Faith is ſinne; but ſhee did not believe, nor could doe any thing in faith, therefore all her actions muſt needs be ſinfull; ſo aggravating her condemnation, ſhee having ſinnes therefore enough to condemne her, would no more this way encreaſe their number already too many.
Anſw. 1This Argument hee judged to be Sophiſticall, ſubtile, and a ſtrong fetch of the Devill, for his ultimum vale, and laſt refuge; whereunto hee after a little pauſe, thus Replyed, That he denyed the aſſumption, that ſhe could not doe anything in faith; for, the degrees of faith muſt be conſidered: There was a degree of initiation of babes in Chriſt, and of ſtrong men in Chriſt: That ſhe muſt now be conſidered of in the lower from of the ſchoole amongſt the babes in Chriſt,75 needing milk not ſtrong meat (as the Apoſtle ſpeaks) and therefore, though things were not done in a ſtrong, yet they might bee done in a weak and true faith, which might have a true and ſutable reward: So that there being in the World many and large promiſes made unto the reading and hearing of the Word (ſome whereof wee then repeated) now for brevity omitted: That duties done in obedience unto the command of God, were then ſo done in faith, becauſe according to and with a reſpect unto the commandement; and muſt needs becauſe of the truth of God who cannot lie nor deny himſelfe, be rewarded. And put the caſe (which he then denyed) that ſhee muſt eternally periſh, yet God hath many outward mercies and bleſsings in ſtore,76 wherewith to reward ſuch outward obedience, many times farre beyond our ſlight performances, freedome from many temporall judgements, leſſening, delay, and mitigation of them, in number, weight, meaſure and continuance, remove-all of them and the like, in his beſt time: So that all things conſidered, the beſt for her were to ſubmit her ſelfe unto the will of God, lie down Saint-like at his feet: uſe the meanes, truſt, waite upon him, and then to let the Lord as (Ioab ſaid to Abner) doe that which ſeemeth beſt in his eyes.
Anſw. 2And for that other cavill of the encreaſe of her ſins, in the matter of her endeavours; for this he told her, That all her good actions done, ſhould be upon record, & all her ſins ſhould be forgiven and done away, ſo that this ſhould not hinder her obedient walking.
77Object. Unto this ſhee objected her inability to performe any holy duty, and therefore ſeeing God in the up-ſhot of all his free promiſes declares himſelfe thus (Yet for all theſe things, will I be ſought unto of the Houſe of Iſrael) ſhe not being able to aske or make obedient endeavour to wrap her ſelfe up within the promiſe, ſo as to have intereſt, or challenge the ſame, that therefore it were in vaine for her to uſe any meanes.
Anſ. Reply hereunto was made, That true it was, that this was the ordinary roade of Providence in deſpenſing of ſalvation, to ſue and challenge the promiſes for our owne comfort, and to diſpence ſalvation in the uſe of meanes: Yet that God being a free agent to give and work at his good pleaſure, had not ſo tyed himſelfe unto78 any methode ſo in his working, but that at his pleaſure he might deſpence therewith: And that therefore for her inability and weakneſſe, God could at his good time ſtrengthen her to his work, ſo in the meane time, that ſhee did her beſt endeavor according unto her ability, not being this way wanting; for where much weakneſſe was, yet God many times helpt and took in good part our weak performances, and that weakneſſe with truth and doing to our power went farre in Gods acceptance: he loving us not for any thing in us, but freely for what he works in us; as that Hoſ. 14.4. I will heale their back-ſlidings, I will love them freely, &c. And that Revel. 3.8. Vnto the Church of Philadelphia, Thou haſt a little ſtrength and haſt kept my word. So was ſhewed unto her that of the79 Diſciples, Ioh. 17.8. being weak ignorant men in many things touching ſalvation, for whom Chriſt yet pleads with his Father, They have kept my word, though formerly they were not able to beare thoſe things might otherwiſe have been revealed unto them, Ioh. 16.12. Therefore from hence was much preſſed upon her the uſe of meanes howſoever unto her weak power and ſtrength, which God would encreaſe unto a greater growth, being that he giveth ſtrength to the weak, and unto them that have no ſtrength, Iſa. 40.29. Her Caſe was ſhewed her to be no worſe then that Ezek. 16.4.5. of the people of Iſrael polluted in their own bloud, caſt forth in a miſerable condition, no eye pitying of them, any way to help them; whom yet God in his mercy80 pitied in that wofull condition, ſaying unto them, That even then they ſhould live, they ſhould live, when they were thus in their bloud, Ezek. 16.6. Therefore to hope well in the mercies of the Almighty, not meaſuring the ſame by the ſcantling of her ſhallow conceits of God, in whoſe ſight all the ſinnes of the world are nothing, in compariſon of the infinite price payd of that blood of the everlaſting Covenant, and infinite value and merit of the ſame, which ſpeaks better things then the blood of Abel, Heb. 12.24. and whereby we have acceſſe with boldneſſe unto the Throne of Grace, by a new and living way which hee hath conſecrated for us through the•ei•e, that is to ſay his fleſh.
The ſtrength of theſe things thus enforced, ſo overcame her81 thus delivered, that herein ſhe was alſo convinced, that ſhee ought to uſe the meanes to her power, truſt and waite upon God for the iſſue, being contented of his good pleaſure whatſoever, and therefore reſolved and promiſed, that now ſhe would goe to Church,Shee is brought to goe to Church. uſe the meanes and try what Gods pleaſure were in time to doe with her; conceiving now ſome ſmall hope that poſſibly ſhee might bee ſaved in the uſe of meanes: and ſo was perſwaded to goe to Church; at her firſt going, being brought to heare Dr Gibſon; who knowing of her comming, applyed himſelfe covertly for her occaſions, yet not ſo, but ſhe ſuſpected that he had beene prompted, and had ſpoken things of purpoſe for her caſe (which ſhee murmured at) but was paſſed over; for indeed82 the burthen wherewith ſhee had over-loaded her ſelfe was ſo great, that we durſt never adde any thing thereunto, but fed her with all encouragements, ſhe being too apt to over-charge her ſelfe, and to deſpaire upon any addition of fewell unto that fire which already was kindled in her: And ſo whereſoever ſhee went to heare, notice was ſtill given, ſo to mannage their buſineſſe, that hee might know they had at that time a hearer thus qualified before them, whereby ſhee received no diſcouragement in hearing of the Word; but by the contrary matter of encouragement, her ſpirit being ſtill jealous that all things were prompted for her ſake (hearing no more terrible things) as indeed they were.
Yet in this interim, things being83 not yet well ſetled within her, not daring to truſt her alone, it was thought fit in the next place to fetch off her endeavours from her own deſtruction, which by Gods mercy was thus effected:How ſhee was brought from attempting againſt her ſelfe. One day being in a very good humor, merry and well pleaſed, Mr Dod prayd her that ſhe would reſolve him truly of one Queſtion, which hee would demand of her, which ſhe faithfully promiſed to doe. Then he demanded of her, That if now ſhee were condemned to be burnt, or hanged, drawn and tortured, to bee firſt rackt, ſcourged and many times whipt and tortured, Whether or no ſhee would not eſteeme it to be a high favour and promotion, to be reprived and reſpited for ten or twenty yeares or thereabouts, to live longer? Which ſhee affirmed ſhee would take in this caſe for a84 very high favour (not perceiving his ſcope and drift in the Queſtion;) Then ſaid he, tell me (taking her lovingly by the hand and ſmiling,) Why then did you all this while paſt make ſuch haſte to have poſted away unto Hell fire for ever, the torments and miſery whereof are many thouſand times in violence beyond all the poſsible torments of this world, ſeeing it is uncertaine whether ever you ſhall goe thither or not, but that God in the uſe of meanes will ſoften your heart and ſave you? But ſeeing the time (if ever) will be too ſoone whenſoever: therefore it were madneſſe and extreame folly in you, to fall into that courſe which might precipitate and caſt you there preſently before the time; but to live forth natures courſe, trying what end the Lord will make: Shee being by her85 own confeſſion in ſome ſort catcht now as David was by Nathan the Prophet, now perceiving the drift of this ſurprize, took him by the hand, and prayd him, That in that kinde no more jealouſie or ſuſpition might be had, for now ſhee was ſo by him convinced, that ſhee was reſolved to live ſo long as God would permit her, and that ſhee now was very ſenſible of his diſcourſe of Hell, and what ſmall reaſon ſhee had to make haſte thither.
Having thus by Gods mercy brought her to ſubmit her ſelfe unto the meanes,Shee is convinced, that ſhe ought & might receive the Sacrament. and hearing of Word, wherein faith and ſalvation are uſually conveyed and wrought; there wanting yet one thing, to bring her unto the Sacrament (unto which ſhe was very averſe:) The next thing this good man went about, was how to compaſſe86 this, and convince her judgement that ſhee ought, might and muſt participate herein, as well as in hearing of the Word: This was by her thought a very ſtrang thing to doe, that ſuch a one as ſhe imagined her ſelfe to be, ſhould dare to Communicate. But hereof hee aſſured her the truth, from the equity and neceſſity of that command of God where all the Males in Iſrael were commanded to appeare three times a yeare before the Lord at Jeruſalem to eat of the Paſſeover; in which caſe whoſoever refuſed to come, or deſpiſed the ſame; hee was to bee cut off from his people: Whence he inferred this concluſion, that whatſoever our worthineſſe or unworthineſſe in that caſe were, yet the command of God muſt be obeyed; all were bound to come and eat87 of the Paſſeover: And therefore that all within the Pales of the Church, ought to Communicate and receive the Sacrament howſoever qualified: In which caſe unworthy receiving ſhould not damne them, if once in all their life time they ſhould or did receive worthily: Shewing that in Hezekiahs time, many then had received the Paſſeover unworthily, for whom notwithſtanding hee prayed the good Lord to forgive them, though they had not eaten according unto the preparation of the ſanctuary. Beſides this he ſhewed her, That the Sacrament was not a comforting, ſtrengthning, building up Ordinance onely, but alſo a converting and healing power being therein for help of the ſick and diſeaſed, a reviving quickning Ordinance alſo; ſo as all ought to participate of the ſame.
88Object. Hereunto ſhe objected that out of 1 Cor. 11.29. That unworthy Receivers did eat and drink their own damnation, and therefore ſhe durſt not adventure any more to aggravate her condemnation and puniſhments.
Anſw. Unto this he Replyed, That ſhe was miſtaken in the meaning of the words, for the word Damnation muſt not there be taken in the terrible ſenſe, the Originall not carrying it ſo, but thus, (ſuch eat Iugdement) unto themſelves, viz. temporall puniſhments: which the enſuing verſe 30. corrects the ſame thus, For this cauſe many are weak and ſickly among you, and many ſleep, &c. Which ſhewes the meaning onely is, that ſuch endure ſometimes temporall puniſhments; who yet may bee ſaved and goe to Heaven. So that89 ſtill the generall holds in equity, as in and under the Law; that Gods Ordinance in the Sacrament is not to bee neglected of us for our unſufficiency and unfitneſſe for the ſame, no more then under the Law during the Paſſeover; becauſe, it may be a meanes to fit,Let the ſcrupulous note this well. heale, cure, ſtrengthen, revive, quicken and enable us to be worthy Receivers: For we come not to bring vertue unto the Sacrament, but to receive vertue, life, ſtrength and quickning from thence: And that howſoever in this caſe we be qualified, it were beſt to be obedient and uſe the meanes, all which with much more the Relator remembers not, was ſet on with more excellent illuſtrations, exhortations and pithy remonſtrances: which diſcourſe being finiſhed ſhe became in this alſo convinced in90 judgement, that ſhee promiſed him thus farre to ſubmit herſelfe yet further unto the meanes, that ſhee would now alſo goe unto the Sacrament: Onely in this Caſe ſhe begg'd exemption not to be urged, becauſe ſhee could not neither was able by her ſelfe to performe any private duties of prayer, or reading of the Word conſtantly: whereunto, becauſe they would not over drive her, put her beyond her ſtrength, or moleſt her ſpirit, they ſpared to urge her, contented with what they could with gentleneſſe and entreaty perſwade her unto.
A very ſtrange experience and wonderfull.Yet it is moſt ſtrange to heare, how the Lord dealt with her in one thing, wherein ſhe delighted, and was hardly broken off, viz. Shee had a cuſtome in tumbling over of the Bible, to put her finger91 ſuddenly upon ſome one verſe as it hit; ſaying, now whatſoever my finger is upon, is juſt my Caſe, whatſoever it bee, and my doome: But ſo the Lord directed all her fingers ſo put, that looking upon the verſe, ſtill it was found encouraging and comfortable, not diſcouraging: whereupon being much prayed and entreated, ſeeing hitherto ſhee had found all places to ſpeak for her, that ſhee would deſiſt, and not any more thus tempt God; who prayd that ſhee might doe but once more ſo (it being in the preſence of many) promiſing faithfully that after that one time, ſhe would never do ſo any more, to attempt any ſuch tryall: Whereupon at length all adventured to ſuffer her once more to ſee what Gods providence would prove in ſo ſtrange92 a Caſe. But withall if ſome croſſe place came, they prayed her not to bee diſcouraged; whereupon ſhee ſuddenly opened the Book, about the middle thereof, in the Propheſie of Iſaiah, and without looking or reading a word, or knowing what ſhee did, ſhe put her finger upon that excellent verſ. Iſa. 40.27. Why ſayeſt thou O Jacob, and ſpeakeſt O Iſrael, my way is hid from the Lord? haſt thou not known, haſt thou not heard that the everlaſting God the Creator of the ends of the Earth, fainteth not, neither is weary; there is no ſearching of his underſtanding: hee giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he encreaſeth ſtrength; even the youths ſhall faint and be weary, and the young men ſhall utterly fall; But they that wait upon the Lord, ſhall93 renew their ſtrength, they ſhall mount up with wings as Eagles, and they ſhall walk and not faint: Which place being conſidered of and read, ſo croſſing her hopes and expectation, made her being much abaſhed to bluſh. For therein ſhee was reproved for her croſſe conceits of God touching her, as neglected of the Almighty; and for all her weakneſſe and imperfections was ſhewed, that God could help all, who with a word made heaven and earth, enabling her to doe all duties at his good pleaſure; being therewith encouraged to wait and depend upon God in the uſe of meanes by ſuch an excellent promiſe: And ſo was therewith ſhewed how good God was unto her, every way ſhewing love, notwithſtanding her untowardneſſe, and94 tempting of him by ſuch ſignes: At which, not knowing what to ſay, ſhee flung off poorely, ſaying,Object. this was promiſed to Iacob and Iſrael; It was nothing unto her and her Caſe:Anſw. Whereunto anſwer was made out of that place, Rom. 15. Whatſoever was written before hand, was written for our learning, that wee through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope; and ſo was thereby vanquiſhed in judgement, that ſhe promiſed now to be ſatisfied, and never any more to make any ſuch tryall, but to offer her ſelfe unto the uſe of meanes, and to wait the Lords leiſure what hee pleaſed to doe with her: Yet ſtill alleadging the impotency in her, that ſhe was able to doe nothing herein towards this great work, but that God muſt doe all, when being95 enabled, ſhee would doe that whereunto ſhe ſhould be ſtrengthned.
Shee is perſwaded to joyne in ſinging of ſome ſort of Pſalms.Yet wanted there one thing more, to gether to joyn in ſinging of Pſalmes, which with much adoe ſhee was brought unto, alleadging that her Caſe admitted of no ſuch melody, neither had ſhee cauſe to ſing, but to mourn all her life time: Yet being told that it was a duty to ſing prayſes unto God, for all his mervellous mercies, power and goodneſſe, as well as to joyn in hearing of the Word; and that thanksgiving being the everlaſting work of Heaven in continuall prayſing of God, was a work could not be too ſoone begun upon earth; and that the Pſalmes being of divers compoſitions and poſtures; of thankſgiving, petition, gratulation, complaint, and deprecation,96 ſhee might joyne in ſome, many of which might fit her Caſe; ſhee was contented to joyn in Pſalmes of complaint, petition, mourning and deprecation, but in no other of any acknowledgement of any mercy received: For ſaid ſhe, If I be onely reſerved as a ſtalled Oxe unto the ſlaughter, what cauſe have I to give thanks; and if I be not to goe to Heaven, what have I to doe with the work of Heaven before the time, or having ſome work wrought in me, whereby I may be aſſured of my intereſt therein?
Why ſhee would have lived under a powerful Miniſtry.About this time willingly ſhee would have live under ſome powerful Miniſtry, hoping, that thereby ſome ſuch work might be wrought upon her, as might enable her to performe duties; and for this cauſe ſecretly made the Relator goe into Eſſex to try whether97 or not that worthy powerfull late thundering Preacher, Mr Rogers of Dedham, would have entertained her at his houſe, who willingly granted the ſame: But when the buſineſſe was moved unto her Father and Mother, neither they nor her Husband would conſent unto the ſame, though Mr Dod, and Mr Culvervell both affected to have gone with her, ſo too indulgent were they over her; which refuſall much unhookt her ſpirit, and had almoſt put her in her former Caſe againe, ſo much did it afflict her; but not remedy,An ex•erience of her ſp••••,〈…〉her. at length ſhee conformed her ſelfe unto neceſſity.
I should much tranſgreſſe, and wrong this diſcourſe of Gods mercies into this good creature, if I ſhould omit any paſſage of Satans ſubtelties and attempts98 againſt her, how farre they prevailed; for ſo, the Power and goodneſſe of God unto her in ſaving her at length, will ſo much the more evidently appeare to his glory: Therefore this enſuing paſſage I relate, as the furtheſt extent of Satans malice: One day as ſhee was walking in her garden at Waltham upon Thames with the Relator and another friend (for Eſher that place where her trouble firſt began, ſhee never after could endure) ſuddenly ſhee ſtopt and fixed her eyes faſt upon the ground, ſtaring upon it with ſtrange wilde looks, for halfe a quater of an hour, from which we could hardly divert her, but at laſt did, though ſhee ſeemed much troubled to be interrupted; and then (as her cuſtome was when the waters of her ſpirits and thoughts99 were become muddy) ſhe began to ſeem to caſt off all means again; ſaying, That her heart was ſo heard, as it could never bee ſoftned; this was by thoſe with her then much oppoſed and denyed as faſt as ſhe affirmed the ſame, enforcing that God who with a Word made Heaven and Earth could ſoften it; wherunto ſhee in anger replyed, (why then God cannot ſoften my heart) at hearing of this blaſphemous ſpeech, ſpoken in the heigth of temptation, the Relator without ſpeaking one word unto her ſuddenly left her; for ſuch ſpeeches were not to be born with, countenanced, or diſputed with, but to be caſt off, with deteſtation and abomination, for (contra principiis non eſt diſputandum) they ſay: A little while after, ſhee being then ready to ride abroad and goe to100 her houſe at Eſher to take the aire, going to take horſe, ſhee demanded of the Relator, whether hee would not ride abroad with her, whereunto hee replyed, No, he durſt not goe in her company, who did ſo lately blaſpheme, for feare the ground would open and ſwallow them up; but that ſeeing under the Law the blaſpemer was to die the death; that he would go to the Archbiſhop and complaine of her, beare witneſſe againſt her, and provide faggots to burn her; wherewith we both parted in ſeeming diſconrent. She being gone, the Relator ere his way-going, went to her waiting-woman, and left his remembrance unto her, which when her woman, at her return told her; ſhee would not believe that hee had ſo done, but asked her Maide, what farwell didſt thou think hee101 gave me, That he would goe complaine of me, and provide faggots to burne me: To which her Maide anſwered, Then Miſtriſſe, you have ſpoken ſome ſtrange untoward things; I think I did ſo, ſaid ſhee: In this interim the Relator ſent and wrote very kindly to her in his abſence, and after a Moneths time returned againe unto her; when,Confeſſion. ſhee prayed him to ſtay no more ſo long away, gave him thanks for his harſh uſage of her; ſaying, ſhee had deſerved worſe, and would never ſo doe any more; Telling alſo that then when formerly ſhe had ſtood ſtaring on the ground, ſhe was then aſſaulted with fierce and ſtrong temptations; all the while a brick-making for the Devill; and prayd him when he ſaw her do ſo any more, to put her out of that poſture, and not to ſpare her, how angry ſoever102 ſhee ſhould for the time bee.
Now as ſhee was in a ſeeming good tune and poſture of endeavour to uſe the meanes,A new ſtorme. in tumbling over the Bible, ſhe encountred with that terrible place, Heb. 6. enferred upon the ſinne againſt the Holy Ghoſt, That the ground which was often watered, and brings forth nothing but briers and thorns, was neare unto curſing and burning, &c. Object. Which place for a few dayes put her quite off hooks againe, affirming that ſhee was juſt ſo, a creature that brought forth nothing but briers and thorns, though ſhe had been often watered from heaven in the uſe of means, and therefore that ſhe was neere unto curſing and burning.
Anſw. 1Firſt, This was deneyd unto her, that ſhee had ever lived under103 any ſuch powerful Miniſtry, as to have been often thus watered.
Secondly, That ſhee neither hitherto had beene ſo bad, as to bring forth nothing but briers and thorns, having to their knowledge brought forth and produced much good fruit of her hearing in times paſt, though now ſhee were for a ſeaſon over-clouded with temptations, ſo, as ſhee could not diſcerne of her own eſtate, nor was apt to judge thereof.
Thirdly, That this place being enforced as a reaſon of the ſinne againſt the Holy Ghoſt, againſt their enlightning; which by her own confeſsion, was a pitch above her, that hitherto ſhee never had attained unto; therefore ſhe needed not to make any ſuch rigid application, or conſtruction of the104 place againſt her ſelfe; wherewith, and the like milde ſpeeches unto her to this effect, ſhee was at length pacified as before.
The journey paſt recounted.Good Reader be not weary, I will now ſuddenly make way unto a concluſion, for much of our work, and the greateſt part is done and hardeſt to compaſſe; Lo now, we have brought this good woman thus farre: To aske the way (in ſome ſort like one of Jeremies Converts) to Zion with her face thitherwards. She is brought out of the houſe of bondage, from he brick-making ſlavery, Pharaoh purſues as it were ſtill after her, but hath not overtaken her, ſhee is driven to flie and wander up and downe the wilderneſſe, now backwards now forwards, as the Church in the wilderneſſe was, ere ſhe can arrive105 at her heavenly Canaan; and I hope wee ſhall ere long ſee her Iordan ſtand up, and give her a faire paſſage in thither, though ſhee hath beene well buffeted by the way.
Firſt, Shee hath been now convinced, not to have ſinned that ſin againſt the Holy Ghoſt (as Satan perſwaded her) being in this ſettled.
Secondly, Shee hath been perſwaded in that grand buſineſſe of the Decree of God, not to meddle therewith, and that no Creature, Devill, Man or Angel, ſave God himſelfe had any knowledge thereof.
Thirdly, In the matter of endeavor, ſhe hath been convinced, that ſhee ought and muſt ſet her ſelfe in what poſsibly ſhee could, to uſe the meanes, wait therein, and106 to truſt God with the iſſue of all.
Fourthly, Shee hath been perſwaded to live as long as poſsibly ſhee could, not to be a means of her own deſtruction.
Fifthly, Shee hath been perſwaded of the lawfulneſſe and neceſſity of her communicating, notwithſtanding all her ſeeming averſneſſe, and indiſpoſition thereunto.
Sixthly, Shee hath been brought from that courſe in tempting God by putting her finger ſuddenly upon places of Scripture, to try her ſtare, all which fell out contrary unto her expectation, good ſtill.
Seventhly, How and on what conditions ſhee was brought to joyne in ſinging of Pſalmes: all which being paſt, one would think, that now there had not107 been much adoe, but to have had a quick end of her troubles, and ſufferings.
But the Lord wonderfull in working, and excellent infinitely in counſell and wiſdome, had otherwiſe ſo appointed the ſame, that ſhee ſhould yet a few years longer be ſtorm beaten and ſick, and wander as it were in a wilderneſſe, ere ſhee arrived at her heavenly Canaan: And therefore out of her habituall impotencie ſeeing ſhee was ſo ſtiffe and ſlow to work out her own ſalvation or take paines for it, Shee had at length her deſire, though hee made it coſt her deare ere hee at length revealed himſelf unto her: And therefore heareat ſhee ſtuck ſtill even to the laſt, expecting what extraodinary work God would work in her, to enable her to108 take paines for her ſalvation: A ſtrange temptation, which all her life time could hardly ever bee quite removed: Untill God in a ſtrange and unuſuall manner, for matter of feeling revealed himſelfe unto her in ſuch a meaſure, as mortality was incapable of, to the over-comming of her ſpirits (who lived not long after) to be in its place related.
About this time that famous worthy man of God, Mr Robert Bruce ſome time Miniſter of Edenborrow, then in priſon amongſt the wilde Iriſh, for not preaching or aſſenting unto the truth of the Earle of Gowries Treaſon, hearing by the Relator the trouble and true ſtate of this Gentlewomans Caſe, with the progreſſe thereof, and how ſhee had been brought to reveale the Devils counſell,109 wrote a letter unto the Relator touching his cenſure of her Caſe, and hopefull iſſue thereof: who being for afflicted conſciences one of ten thouſand (he himſelfe having beene for twenty yeares in terrors of conſcience, ere he was forced to ſettle unto the Miniſtry) gave a judicious propheticall cenſure of the event of her caſe, as in ſome ſort it fell out (too long here to inſert) but in concluſion with this upſhot: That now ſhee had bewrayed ſo freely the Devils counſell, hee knew that all would ſhortly bee well are long, and that her trouble would have to admiration a ſtrange event; and that for her finall eſtate, he thanked God, he made no more doubt thereof then of his own, which he aſſured himſelfe of, becauſe God had given him ſo large a heart to110 continue inſtant for her in prayer with a great deale of comfort; concluding his letter with a patheticall ſpeech turned in behalfe of the Gentlewoman towards Satan, worthy to be written in letters of gold, which being ſo rare and unuſuall in the Preſſe ſpeeches of this nature, I have therefore adventured here to enſert.
A Speech to Satan.
O Enemy Satan, although thy enmity for the preſent be troubleſome unto this patient, yet I thank my God through Jeſus Chriſt, that thou art an enemy unto her; and that he hath put her in his Camp to fight againſt thee. When I conſider how in Paradice the Lord proclaimed111 irreconciliable enmity betwixt thee and the bleſſed ſeed, I account her happy in that thou art her enemy, and that ſtrength is given her to fight againſt thee, for hereby I perceive that ſhee is none of thine, but ſtands on that ſide whereof Chriſt is the Captaine, and all the Saints are Souldiers; where the victory undoubtedly muſt bee both ſure and certaine on her ſide. O deceitfull Serpent! If we finde ſuch terrors and enſignes of thy fury for theſe ſmaller ſinnes of frailty which we fooliſhly by thy enticement commit; what ſhould we have found if wee had followed thee, in the reſt of thy deadly aſſiduall and unmeaſurable fiery injected temptations? from the which the Lords preventing and reſtraining112 mercy hath kept us. I have often by experience heard that thou art a faithleſſe traytor; becauſe thou tempteſt a man to ſinne, and for the ſelfe-ſame ſinne which by thy inſtigation we commit, thou art the firſt accuſer, and the laſt tormenter. The Lord encreaſe our faith, and confirme his good purpoſe in our hearts, that we never hearken any more to thy lying words, nor ſuffer our ſoules to be circumvented by thee and thy deceitfull ſnares. And as for the work of her ſalvation, ſince it is a work which our God will work in ſpite of thee; wherefore ſhould ſhee or wee any more regard thy lying teſtimony? Thou didſt moſt malitiouſly put the queſtion unto our Saviour, whether or no he were the Son of God? And then what marvell is it that113 thou dareſt ſay unto his children that they are none of his? Is there any ſuch undoubted truth that thou dareſt not deny? or any falſhood which thou dareſt not make good and juſtifie? Why therefore ſhould we enter in diſputing with thee? for, her ſalvation conſiſts not either in thy queſtioning, or in her diſputing againſt it; but upon the Lords unchangeable Decree of Election. If thou ſhouldeſt ſpeak for her, and plead her cauſe, ſhe were ſo much the worſe, and nothing the better; and now that thou pleadſt againſt her, ſhe is nothing the worſe. I love no teſtimony which proceeds from thee. When thou confeſſedſt that Jeſus was the Son of God, he rebuked thee, and would none of thy teſtimony; and when thou cryedſt out that114 Paul and Sylas were the ſervants of the moſt High God, although thou ſpakeſt the truth, yet they would not accept of thy teſtimonie. So although thou wouldeſt affirme that ſhe were the child of God, were ſhe any thing the better? no, but ſo much the worſe; thou canſt vent no truth but with an intent to deceive: Therefore keep thy teſtimomie to thy ſelfe, ſpeak what thou wilt, thou art ever like thy ſelfe, a liar; curſed art thou, and curſed ſhalt thou be, with all thy Confederates, and curſed are they that are in friendſhip with thee: So in concluſion, thy purſuite of her, and her ſafety hitherto from thy power, ſhewes mee that ſhee is none of thine.
The Lord powre in his comfort and grace in her weak heart, that115 ſhee may finde and feele the ſweetneſſe of the things we write of, and from her feeling to give God the prayſe of his glory, and of her victory, which I am ſure to be moſt certaine in Gods good time, and that her ſalvation is as ſure as mine own, I prayſe God.
By this time three whole years having paſt, ſince Mr Dod began with her, having endured ſo many hot skirmiſhes with Satan, made ſo many long journeys, being toyld out in body and ſpirit, and deſirous now to reſt awhile, having facilitated his tough task, and fitted it for ſome other to finiſh and build her up further, hee having in all things convicted her judgement, that God who does all things well, and makes all things Rom. 8.28. work together for good unto his children; who when116 Moſes was old, appointed the young man Ioſhua in his place; and who when Manna failed, brought the people into Canaan flowing with milke and honey, did now alſo out of his good Providence appoint a fit man to ſucceed as a helper in Mr Dods place, meet for that poſture of ſtrength ſhee was now in, In a ſtrange objecting, diſputing way, followed by Satans temptations, and prompted with ſtrong objections againſt her ſelfe: So that now her great want was of an able man to be continually with her, to diſpute conſtantly with all her temptations and objections, able to anſwer and cruſh all.
This and ſuch a Helper did God in his infinite mercy in the next place provide for her. Another fit help ſucceeds to M•ſter Dad.For it pleaſed God in his wiſe providence, ſo117 to order the matter, that her Huſbands Cure at Eſher being a Donative, and not a Preſentative endownment was voyde and to bee diſpoſed of: In which interim, notice was given unto him of one Mr Hooker then at Cambridge, now in New-England: A great Schollar, an acute Diſputant, a ſtrong learned, a wiſe modeſt man, every way rarely qualified; who being a Non-conformitan in judgement, not willing to trouble himſelfe with Preſentative Livings, was contented and perſwaded by Mr Dod to accept of that poore Living of 40 l. per annum, Mr Drake her Husband being a worthy welbeloved Gentleman, and able to procure his liberty, and retaine him ſtill in the ſame: This worthy man accepted of the Place, having withall, his dyet and lodging at118 Eſher Mr Drakes houſe; and ſo by this meanes, as to free Mr Dod from his toile and trouble, ſo to be at all aſſayes ready to mannage and work her ſpirit, encounter all her objections, eſpie all Satans windings and turnings, and catch her at all non-plus advantages, being acute, quick, nimble-witted, well skild in knowing and opening of the Scriptures; withall a good Logitian, a ſtrong Diſputant, as he could well doe. And ſo the good old man as occaſion ſerved, ſending and writing unto her, after divers ſad and ſerious diſcourſes with her, wherein ſhee covenanted to obſerve all promiſes paſt, retaining her former reſolutions in thoſe things wherin in judgement ſhe was convinced, he was for that time lovingly diſmiſſed, and rewarded largely by her Parents.
119This man Mr Hooker being a good acute, ſmart Preacher when he liſted, beſides that information Mr Dod had given him, was ſo wiſe, firſt to trie her ſpirit, to finde her diſpoſition, uſing her with much mildneſſe & love, ere he would adventure to meddle with her ſpirit, chuſing rather that way made from her might uſher the way unto his diſcourſe, then that at firſt hee ſhould enforce any thing upon her: Which was not long in ſuſpence; for now having a fit perſon to rough hew her (as it were) whom ſhee could neither weary out nor over-come in Argument, but was able to diſcerne and catch Satan in all his Sophiſmes, there every way fell out ſtrong diſputes betwixt them: But all within the compaſſe of thoſe former things wherein Mr Dod before had convinced120 her: Satan delighting ſtill to raſe new uprores in her, and (as his cuſtome is) not to ſuffer us to be at peace though we be out of danger: Such now were his practiſes anew, to winde up his old bottomes, and to renew diſputes, even in thoſe things ſhe was convinced of. For Mr Hooker being newly come from the Univerſity had a new anſwering methode (though the ſame things) wherewith ſhee was mervellouſly delighted, and being very covetous of knowledge, was pleaſed with new diſputes and objections to faſten further upon her ſelfe thoſe forementioned things; ſtill further and further ſifting into the ſame old Truths whereof ſhee was well perſwaded (and as is ſaid) convinced.
Yet could not he ſo evenly hold121 the ballance in mannaging of her ſpirit, but that now and then ſhee would flie out,By degrees ſhe is ſometimes off hooks ſtill. in many diſtempers, wiſhing to leave off all, for ſhee now ſaw that there was no remedy, the meanes did not work nor prove effectuall unto her: To what purpoſe ſhould ſhee any more labour in vaine? But eſpecially towards the Sacrament, then uſuaally ſhee would be off hooks, either not comming, or unwillingly, if ſhee did: Upon whom this place for her waiting and depending upon God was ſtrongly urged, Hab. 3. ult. That the viſion of Gods deliverances, was for an appointed time, therefore to wait; for though it tarried, yet it ſhould come and not tarry; and that alſo of Iſai. 8. I will wait upon the Lord, who hath hid his face from the houſe of Jacob; and I will look for122 him: affirming unto her that theſe and the like hard travels, were incident unto Gods beſt beloved people, to have many, hard and long trialls, and yet at length glorious deliverances, as was alledged from that place, Amos 3.2. You only have I known of all the Nations of the earth; therefore I will puniſh you for your iniquities: (which God may doe forgiving the ſinne, though bee take vengeance of their inventions:) And that Heb. 12. what ſonne is there whom the Father chaſteneth not? If therefore yee bee without correction (whereof all are partakers) then are yee baſtards and not ſonnes. Which with the like inſinuations from the word cloſely urged, brought down her ſpirit to mildneſſe and meekneſſe: For though her indiſpoſition and123 temptations, made her many times contrary unto her naturall diſpoſition harſh and untoward, with the habite ſhee had accrewed in time to be croſſe, and try thoſe ſoundly ſhee converſed with; yet this happy endowment ſhee had, to be very rationall according unto her conception, and would be ſet down and ſatisfied with pregnant places of Scripture being ſeaſonably preſſ'd and lovingly opened unto her.
But the matter of repentance much troubled her,Queſt. of repentance, diſcuſſed that ſhe could not repent; demanding, Whether it were poſſible for her to goe to Heaven without Repentance?
Hereunto was anſwered: Firſt,Sol. I. That God did not tie ſalvation unto any meaſure of repentance; but might at his pleaſure ſave, eſpecially where there were no124 groſſe ſinnes to dam up mercies gates; whereof praiſed bee God ſhee was free.
Secondly, That God exacted no more of his creatures then he gave unto them: as the Apoſtle to the the Corinths writes, If there be firſt a willing minde, accepting of us, not according unto thoſe things we have not, but according unto thoſe things we have: And therefore, that her weak deſires and meaſure whatſoever given, might be accepted of God. For, ſhee could not deny, but her wiſhes were that ſhe might repent, and ſhe was in ſome ſort ſorry for her indiſpoſition and hardneſſe of heart, which being a burthen and a kinde of griefe unto her, was ſo a kinde and ſore of repentance: Therefore was ſhee exhorted to be patient, and not to limite the Holy One of125 Iſrael nor preſcribe the fountaine and depth of all wiſedome which were the beſt way to bring her unto Heaven; but to ſubmit her ſelfe unto the good pleaſure of God; truſt, hope with the beſt, and uſe the meanes.
Thirdly, Further alleadging unto her, That it was not the greatneſſe, number or continuance of our ſinnes that could ſtop mercy from us; but finall impenitency and obduration.
Fourthly, Repentance being the gift of God, which hee might at his pleaſure give and accept in good part whatſoever meaſure thereof he were pleaſed: It was not to be doubted of, but that ſhe might in time attaine unto ſo much thereof in the uſe of meanes, as hee would accept of, and as might bring her unto heaven. For126 God of all his Attributes is ſaid only to delight in mercy, Micah 7. his nature being to forgive and forget iniquity, tranſgreſſion, ſin and ſinnes of cuſtome.
Fifthly, That as ſinne was a perpetuall act in us, ſo in God there was a perpetuall act in pardoning of ſinne, not tranſient, but in a perpetuall conſtant current; as Zach. 13.1. a fountaine opened, ever running, to waſh away all ſinne and uncleanneſſes; with many the like things, which now againe wonne her ſpirit to reſt upon God; though now and then upon divers occaſions ſhe uſed to fly out a little: Yet being continually hammered and hewen with the tough acute diſputations of this good man, Mr Hooker, who was very aſſiduouſly induſtrious in watching her diſpoſition, and127 various inclinations of her changes and tentations; by Gods mercy ſhee grew ſtill better, uſing to preſent her ſelfe conſtantly to the uſe of meanes: having prayer, catechizing, expounding and reading of the word, and ſinging of Pſalms conſtantly in the family, now with delight and willingneſſe acted: being never weary to have the word expounded; yea, and in private ſpending ſome time by herſelfe alone daily; as the indiſpoſition of her diſtempered body, heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall head-ach, would permit her; but yet would not bee known nor confeſſe unto any what in private ſhee did being alone.
The good ſoule is yet toſſed up and down.Now have wee her in the wilderneſſe toſſed up and downe, like the Church in their march unto Canaan,128 fraught with divers ſtormes, now backwards, now forwards, with many turning and winding temptations, reſtleſſe in her thoughts, becauſe (deſire hath no reſt) having ſome glimmering glimpſe of hope, but (as ſhe faid) had no grounds for the ſame, expecting when the Lord would bee pleaſed to work in her ſome great work for enabling. In which Caſe, now up, now down, the better ſhee grew in her minde, having ſtill therewithall the greater weakneſſe and indiſpoſition of body, ſhe continued a long time, her old friend Mr Dod now and then once in a quarter of a year comming to viſite her, whom ſhe much rejoyced to ſee, praying not any more to ſtay ſo long away; for now ſhee reſted aſſured her time on earth was but of ſmall continuance. 129About which time it fell out, that Mr Hooker alſo having acted his part with her, and done his beſt, to comfort, uphold and rectifie her ſpirit, ſo fitting her for mercy, as nothing remained to bee done but a full gaile of ſpirituall winde to blow upon her, to bring forth her fruit, that by Gods Providence he was married unto her waiting-woman: After which both of them having lived ſome time after with her, and he cal'd to bee Lecturer at Chemsford in Eſſex,Maſter Hooker leaves her. they both left her, her Huſband having provided another for the Cure, but not like unto the other; who alſo came often to viſite her, being much there. And there lived alſo two miles from thence, a worthy good Miniſter, one Mr Witherell of Waltham upon Thames, whom ſhee went conſtantly130 to heare, and was alwayes very helpfull unto her (but eſpecially when Mr Hooker had thus left her) whom every Thurſday ſhee heard, hee being a painfull, able, good mercifull man, did then much help her, both in publike, and alſo in private helps of conference and expounding of the Word, which now ſhee much delighted in at all occaſions; eſpecially ſhee found a little comfort in opening of that chapter Micah 7. one time when Mr Dod was with her three Moneths before her death, though (as ſhee ſaid) ſhe durſt not acknowledge nor confeſſe the ſame for feare it had not been ſo.
But ah, ſhould I now lance forth into the diſcourſe of the loſſe of ſo good a friend?The preparation unto her death. but what ſay I of loſſe? No, ſhe was not loſt, ſhee was now found with131 her face ſtrongly bent home Heavenwards: Having therefore thus far proceeded in this ſaid Trage-Comicall diſcourſe, I muſt now proceed to the Cataſtrophe thereof: If therefore good Reader, thou wilt have a little more patience to heare the reſt, thou ſhalt quickly ſee the Scene change with a joyfull Comicall concluſion: For though all this while ſhee hath gone forth weeping carrying pretious ſeed, now thou ſhalt ſee ber returne with ſheaves of everlaſting joy; though weeping hath beene many an evening, yet now thou ſhalt ſee joy come in an everlaſting morning. Though Satan hath much toyled, wearied out and vexed her ſpirit, yet thou ſhalt ſee how the God of peace ſhall ſhortly tread downe Satan under her feet: her reward infinitely ſurpaſſing all her132 momentany ſufferings; which now comes to bee the fourth and laſt thing propounded, Her death, and the preparation unto it.
Divers years ſince Mr Dod left her, and ſome large time alſo after that Mr Hooker was removed unto Chemsford, ſhee remained more chearefull in minde, though tormented with her heart-burning and in a manner perpetuall megrum, which made her to lie much of the day upon her bed, unfit for any other actions of endeavor in the uſe of meanes ſhe would or ſhould otherwiſe be employed in. About this time a ſtrong diſtaſte was given her from a neare friend,A new griefe is added to the former. (not neceſſary here to relate, nor to our purpoſe:) Which yet faſtened ſo upon her, that it grew more and more, and brought her into a poſture of great diſcontent, ſo as133 ſhee became in her thoughts a woman in ſome ſort of another world; who being reſolute in her way, unremoveable, having reſolved and alwayes purpoſing, when ſhee found her ſelfe neare unto her laſt, to die at her Fathers Houſe, and lie with her kindred and friends at Ammerſum, Shee ſuddenly told her Husband, that ſhee found her ſelfe very ill, and therefore that ſhee was purpoſed to goe ſuddenly unto her Fathers Houſe: Hee much wondering at the ſuddenneſſe of her reſolution, told her, If her reſolution were ſuch, to goe ſo quickly, his buſineſſe was ſuch as hee could not yet goe with her, unleſſe ſhe would ſtay until his buſineſſe was diſpatcht; but if ſhe were reſolute to goe, that hee would not ſtay her, ſhe might when ſhe would. 134So ſhee being reſolute, the next day with two of her men ſhee departed for her Fathers Houſe, where being arrived, they wondering that ſhee came ſo without her Husband, ſhee in plaine termes told them, That ſhee alwayes had reſolved to die at Sharolois, and therefore ſhee not knowing how long her time ſhould be, finding her weakneſſe great, had now come without her husband to die there, ſaying, that her husband would ſhortly follow after.
They much wondering at this ſudden newes from her, and unexpected ſtrange ſpeeches; yet at her comming ſmoothed her over, telling her that this was but ſome unwarranted feare had ſurprized her, and that ſhe would finde herſelfe herein as in many other ſurmiſed things deceived. But ſhee135 ſtill maintained the maine, that her time was at hand, and ſhe very weak, though ſhee carryed it faire; after which her Husband in a week or ten dayes arrived: But the poſture of her carriage for all this was the ſame, She being in a ſurpaſsing extraordinary ſtrange humor of talking of the beſt things perpetually night and day without intermiſsion, not having any jot of ſleep almoſt night or day; whereby her ſpirits were both much ſpent and tyred out.
The Relator who ſtill had a watchfull eye upon all the paſſages of her occurrences,Mr Dod is gone for to come unto her once more knowing of her late diſcontent and cauſe thereof, and hearing that ſhe was removed to Sharolois, made no more adoe, but with all haſte went and brought Mr Dod thither, fearing that this might136 prove his laſt journey unto her (as indeed it proved,) when he came unto her two Sundayes before her death, he by that time found her much weakned in body, keeping her bed; but with ſuch vehement deſires to diſcourſe of, and heare of the beſt things, reading, expounding and ſinging of Pſalmes, that all were ſtruck with admiration: and would not ſtay with her ſo long, as ſhee would have had us; nor read unto her, becauſe we would gladly have had her to reſt, which could not be done; for ſhee continued ſtill ſpeaking both night and day to ſome one or other who watched with her, yet all of the beſt things; for her time being ſhort, ſhe imagined (as ſhee ſaid) ſhee could not too advantagiouſly emprove the ſame.
The firſt of the two Sundayes137 before her death,Shee inſtructs, and prepares her children, to beare her death ſhee would not ſuffer her children to goe to Church that day, but made them ſtay with her, to inſtruct them, and ſpeak her minde unto them, alledging that ſhee muſt take time whilſt ſhee had time; for, ſhe knew not whether or not ſhee ſhould live untill the next Sunday: when ſhee vented unto them in the beſt manner ſhee could at large, all ſhee had to ſay unto them, expounding divers Scriptures unto them, formerly expounded unto her (which ſhee had a large ſtrong memory to retaine) this day finiſhing all ſhee had to ſay unto them, ſaving at laſt to give them her bleſſing.
Now the Munday after this, was all ſpent in continuall conference with Mr Dod, ſo much as he would conferre with her, for138 feare of over-toyling her ſpirits, ſhee being in the other extremity more forward to entertaine and ſpeak of the beſt things,A ſtrange change. then formerly ſhee had beene backwards; which ſhewed ſome ſtrange change at hand: yet all this while could ſhee, or would ſhee never ſleep, night or day, but in a perpetuall motion of ſpeaking of variety of all ſorts of things; but by her good-will, ſtill of Divinity, and of the life to come, undervaluing all this world, and eating ſparingly.
On the Tueſday next in the morning ſhee ſent for Mr Dod, who prayed and talkt a while with her, with variety of excellent diſcourſe of death, heaven and eternall glory; when ſuddenly as prayer was done, about eight of the clock in the morning we were ſtrangely enterrupted by a ſtrange139 and uncouth out-cry which proceeded from her, I am aſſured the like was never heard or read of before: which uncouth language (in ſhew a rapture of another world) a few words whereof the Relator can ſhew or expreſſe, onely he hopes the Reader will pardon him, if he miſſe in recounting things of another world, which Paul himſelfe was at a non-plus in after his rapture, 2 Cor. 12.4.7. and Peter alſo after his deſcent from the Mount, Mark. 9.6. not knowing what he ſaid: So difficult it is to expreſſe things unutterable.
A ſtrange Rapture of feeling.Oh, oh, oh, what's this, what's this, what's this? I am undone, undone, undone, I cannot endure it,140 endure it: O, ô, ô, let me be gone, let me be gone, ô, I muſt be gone, I cannot tarry, I cannot tarry; ô what ſhall I doe? what ſhall I doe? O Father, O Mother, O Husband, kiſſe me, kiſſe me, and let me bee gone: Come all, farewell all, let me take you by the hand and bee gone: Lo, lo, the Angels are come, they wait, they ſtay for mee; O deare Mother! why hold you me? I muſt be gone: O,141 he is come, he is come, he is come: Now you have it, you have it, you have it, why hold you me? let me be gone, my work is done: O call, call, call, where is my Crowne? fetch mee my Crowne: Bring, bring, bring mee my white Robes, quickly, quickly, quickly, why run you not? The Angels ſtay, now you have it, you have it, you have it. (Meaning that now wee had the iſſue and fruit of all our Prayers) O, it overcomes, overcomes,142 overcomes me; I am undone, undone undone; what ſhall I doe? what ſhall I doe? what ſhall I doe? O you will not let me be gone.
With innumerable ſuch ſwift expreſſions could not bee remembred, ſhee in that ſhort time of halfe a quarter of an houre ſpeaking more then one can treatably in an houre, with an incredible ſwitneſſe (no ordinary action of this life) when withall ſhee heaved and heaved up ſtill all the time with fixed eyes towards the houſe top, as though ſhee had ſeene ſome Viſion, and would have flown away from them all, making a hole through the chamber Roofe: During143 which time (as wee cannot blame them;) the poſture of all the Spectators was (ſave her Husband who went weeping and wringing his hands up and down the Chamber) ſilence, wonder, and admiration; they in all their life time having never ſeene or heard of the like: Which put Mr Dod, her Husband, and all of them to a non-plus (as being beyond all experience:) But if the Reader will have patience, this good Creature ſhall her ſelfe expound this rare Riddle, yea, and comment upon it.
This fit of ſudden, extreame, raviſhing unſupportable joy, (beyond the ſtrength of mortality to retaine or belong capable of) being over, and ſhee layd againe; who formerly had ſtriven to have got away from them all; they144 all being in an amazed aſtoniſhed ſilence; ſhee her ſelfe began thus? Why are you all ſilent?Her ſpeech after her Rapture. where is Mr Dod? Who being neere unto her, ſat down on the beds ſide by her, unto whom ſhee thus directed her ſpeech, Sir, what did you think of mee lately in this ſtrange poſture I have been in? did not you imagine me to have been mad all the time? Mr Dod Replyed, No, but that it was very ſtrange unto them all, having never heard or ſeene the like. So (ſaid ſhe) ſurely it was, it was very ſtrange, But will you know how it ſurprized mee? As this morning ere you came to prayer, I being alone prayed to God that hee would not abſent himſelfe for ever: but that that once before my death, hee would reveale Chriſt unto mee, give mee145 ſome ſenſe and feeling of his love: And open the brazen Gates of his hard heart of mine, that the King of glory might enter in. After which as you had prayed, this ſudden out-crying fit of unſupportable joy and feeling ſurprized mee with ſuch violence ruſhing in upon me, as I could not containe my ſelfe, but make this ſudden out-cry amongſt you all: But I muſt confeſſe unto you, I know not, neither doe I remember what I ſaid: But now I beſeech you to make this uſe hereof hereafter unto all in my Caſe.
Triumphant rare Speech and confeſſion.After mee never diſpaire of any, how deſperatly146 miſerable ſo ever their Caſe bee (which at the worſt cannot exceed mine) but uſe and apply the meanes unto them, and they will prevaile at length. I was like a piece of knotty timber, who have endured ſo many the more knocks with ſtrong wedges, ſo much adoe there was ſo work me; but now I thank God, who hath heard my prayer and revealed Chriſt unto me, and now147 I care not for all this world: The fountaine of all my miſery hath been, that I ſought for that in the Law which I ſhould have found in the Goſpel, and for that in my ſelfe which was only to be found in Chriſt. A wrong way I confeſſe, which hath occaſioned unto me ſo much ſorrow; but now all is well; O pray, pray, pray, O give thanks; for, now you have it, you have it, you have it.
This ſo ſolid and ſtrange ſpeech, ſo heavenly, rationall, gave a great deale of contentment unto all preſent; Mr Dod according unto her deſire, framing himſelfe unto a prayer altogether of thankſgiving, admiring Gods infinite work in her, and for her, beſeeching a happy cloſe of this great work begun: For matter of petition now ſhee cared not for, lying like a Conqueror, with an extraordinary cheerefull aſpect, full of rapt joy, as now ſhee had been poſſeſſor of all things, having no need of any thing; now that Chriſt was hers, all things being hers alſo; the remainder of the day being ſpent in over-joyed ſpeeches, with exhortations to Thankſgiving; ſtill telling us, Now you have it, yee have it, you have it: and taking our hands149 in hers, and heaving them up and down many times together very thankfull unto us all, as ſhee wiſhed us to bee thankfull unto God for her.
This ſame Tueſday,She bath the like Rapture againe. again about foure a clock in the afternoone, the Chamber being full of her friends, joyfull to ſee her ſo fraught with joy, after ſo many ſorrowfull dayes: Suddenly ſhee fell out againe, in a ſtrange manner, in ſuch an other rapt fit of joy, beyond all expreſſion, uttering juſt about the ſame things as formerly, in the ſame manner as in the morning, enduring about the ſame time; and ſo ceaſed and was quiet againe as formerly: She thereupon called Mr Dod, wondering at the ſtrangeneſſe of the thing, told him, That her joy and ſenſe thereof, was ſo over-comming150 and ſtrong, as ſhee could not for her life containe her ſelfe, from burſting forth thus againe; for as ſhee ſaid her fraile fleſh was overcome therewith; and ſo ſhee entreating him again to give thanks, he did ſo, ſpending the remainder of that day in heavenly diſcourſe of another world; hoping that ſhee ſhould that night have ſlept ſoundly, having now watched and been without ſleep, above a week together: But it ſeemes, as as the lame man, Act. 3.8. having received his feet, for joy did nothing for awhile but skip, frisk, and leap; ſo ſhee now having been as it were in another world, revived with uncouth new joyes, could not take any reſt or ſleep, but rejoyce alwayes and talke of the ſame. And ſo that night having divers friends to watch151 and ſit by her, ſhee ſpent the ſame in good diſcourſe and ſinging of Pſalmes.
All the time ſhee had been ill, ſhee could not of all the Pſalmes endure to joyn in ſinging of the thirty Pſalme, but that night of her ſelfe ſhe cal'd for it, with this expreſſion, Couſin now turn to the thirty Pſalme (by the Relator alwayes urged upon her to belong unto her) but I durſt never appropriate or apply the ſame unto my ſelfe, untill now, and ſo that Tueſday night ſung the ſame very cheerefully, as was ſaid, ſhe paſſing this night over alſo without any inclination to reſt or ſleep.
On the Wedneſday morning,Her dreſſing for the grave. her indulgent Mother, that worthy good ſoule Mr Tottle, did riſe betimes and came to viſite her, when finding her in a ſtrange152 unuſuall Attire, for that morning (now apprehending death ▪ at hand) ſhe had cauſed her ſelfe to be dreſſed from top to toe all in white, concealing her conceit therein untill her Mother came; who ſeeing her thus ſtrangely dreſt, ſpake lovingly unto her in her accuſtomed phraſe: How now Daughter, what's the matter with thee? me thinks thou lookeſt like a Bride, So I am Mother (ſaid ſhe) a Bride now trimmed for Chriſt the Bridegroome, and now Mother I have my laſt ſuit to make unto you (for I am a woman of another world) when I am dead, I pray you, dreſſe me juſt thus as you ſee me now, and ſo let me be laid in my grave; for, for this cauſe, I cauſed my ſelf to be dreſſed thus this morning, that you might ſee how I would be laid in the grave: Whereunto her153 Mother burſting forth into weeping, ſhee comforted her all ſhee could, ſaying, Mother, me thinks you ſhould rather rejoyce to ſee me ſo neare home, after that I have ſo long a time been ſtorm beaten and ſea-ſick, not now to grudge that I am arrived ſo neare the haven: And ſo prayd her to ſuffer her willingly to depart home in peace: whereupon her Mother for that time (being a matchleſſe tender Mother) parted with many teares.
Soone after this came Mr Dod and Dr Preſ•on to her, unto whom ſhe with a great deale of joy told the ſame diſcourſe as formerly ſhe had done unto her Mother, That thus as ſhee was then dreſt, ſhe deſired to be laid in the grave: After their departure having prayed with her and given thanks (for no154 other part of prayer ſhee now affected, as being heire of all things, not having need of any thing) ſhee ſent for divers of the houſe ſeverally,Shee ſchooles the ſervants. unto whom ſhee gave ſeaſonable and ſutable exhotations, fitting unto their places, thaking her leave of them all; wherein ſhee was ſo punctuall, that with her good will ſhe would have had every ſervant of the houſe to have come ſeverally unto her; but that her Mother fearing that which after came to paſſe, ſome weakneſſe to enſue ſo much watching, ſpeaking and toyling inceſſantly of her ſpirits, durſt not expoſe her unto the hazard of ſo inſupportable a toyle.
Being now very much ſpent, this Wedneſday after dinner, ſhee cauſed to voide her Chamber of every body, and ſent for her155 Father to ſpeak with, ſchoole, and take leave of him; whom ſhee dealt with and ſchooled (having him all alone) for above an houre together;Shee chooles and takes leave of her father. whom when ſhee had ſaid her minde unto, and taken her leave of, ſhee diſmiſſed him. At his deſcending from her, the Relator did what hee could in a a faire way to have fiſhed from him, what ſhe had ſaid unto him: Of whom nothing could bee obtained, ſave in the generall, That ſhee had given him very good counſell, both touching his wife and himſelfe, and concerning the ordering of his eſtate and family, and to keep a Preacher in his houſe; with many other, all good things, as hee ſaid.
Preſently after this ſhee called to ſpeak with the Relator,Her farewell, ſpeech to the Relator. whom having made to ſit down by her,156 ſhee firſt gave him many ſolemne thanks in a ſull gaile of loving expreſſions for his care and paines taken with her; and then ſhe ſaid ſhe had a ſuit unto him: Who replyed, that any ſuit of hers, if in his power, was granted ere known; which yet ſerved not the turne, but ſhee would have his hand to forgive her; which being done, ſhe prayed him to forgive her; who wondering at the ſtrangeneſſe of this needleſſe ſuit, told her, that hee had rather cauſe to ask forgiveneſſe of her, having much failed both in duty and love unto her:A rare confeſſion. O no, ſaid ſhee, you muſt forgive me that you for ſo many yeares together having ſhewed mee ſo much love, and beene a meanes of my everlaſting comfort and happineſſe, that yet I have been ſo unkind unto you, for157 I have not loved you by the hundred part, in that meaſure I ought to have done, according to that love you have ſhewed mee: But will you know the cauſe? I could love no body as I ſhould ſo long as I was not aſſured of Gods love to me (for that onely ſets our love a fire to runne ſtrongly the right way) I could untill then neither love you nor any body elſe, during ſo much diſtraction and diverſion as I ſhould have done: And now that my love is thus kindled, this is my ſorrow (my time being ſhort) that now I can no otherwiſe expreſſe my ſelfe then by this poore acknowledgement, in a time I am ſo unfit and diſabled to performe my deſires: But I well hope, that what I cannot doe, that God who ſet you a work for my good, and my other friends will performe, when I158 am gone: And ſo for that time with abundance of love and thanks diſmiſſed the Relator.
Thus having in ſome ample manner diſpoſed of all the buſineſſe ſhee ſeemed to have in this world: The remainder of this afternoone ſhee lay in her former joyfull poſture, rejoycing to ſpeak of the beſt things unto every one neare unto her; yet without any reſt or ſleep, or inclination that way. When Mr Dod and Dr Preſton came to viſite her, ſhee ſtill entreating to give thanks, no other diſcourſe ſhee had, as wanting nothing: So continuing all this day, untill the evening late, that there was a great change, as in part ſhall be ſhewed; for leaſt ſhee ſhould bee lifted up through her former revelation, joyes and rapture, ſo ſhort which endured159 not, ſurpaſſing her ſtrength, ſhee had a weakning cooler to keep her down low.
For, lo, lo,Shee is ſurpriſed with a weakneſs. the Scene now changes againe, the curtaine waves and toſſes a little with an uncouth winde, party coloured, no firme impreſsions appeared: She who lately was in a glorious triumph, flying away forcibly from us all, as it were with Eagles wings mounting upwards, is now ſuddenly ſurprized with an extreame fainting and weakneſſe of ſpirits, being for ten dayes and nights over-wearied, watched and toyled out, ſo as now ſhee bewrayed ſome weakneſſe in her expreſſions, not being as formerly ſo lively and ſubſtantiall; which continued the Thurſday and Friday after, never having any reſt or ſleep all the time; which diſtemper, made them ſend160 poſt to London for two Phyſitians, hoping by their advice to have made her reſt: But all in vaine, No phyſick could cure her but heavenly physick: Therefore on the Saturday, Mr Dod, Dr Preſton, and Mr Hooker,A Faſt kept for her. kept a private faſt for her; the iſſue whereof was, in that forenoone ſhe fell aſleep, reſted ſoundly ſome five or ſix houres together, and then waked in a very midle gentle temper. Then ſhee cal'd unto her Couſin Herreis (a good Gentlewoman, alwayes exceeding carefull of her) Sarah, tell me, did not I lately in ſome ſpeeches forget my ſelfe? Whereunto her Anſwer was, Truly Couſin ſo you did, but we imputed the ſame to your many dayes and night-watching, and over-wearying of your ſpirits, unable ſo long to hold out: So it161 was, ſaid ſhe, My ſpirits were ſpent and gone, which cauſed that weakneſſe.
Then ſhee remembring all that had paſſed,Her death. her ſtrange Raptures, (but nothing which then ſhee had ſaid in them) retaining her former grounds, comfort and cheerefulneſſe (as in ſo much weakneſſe could bee expreſſed) cald for Mr Dod, Dr Preſton, with the reſt of her friends, cauſing them to give thanks with her, and for her, venting her ſelfe unto them thus, That her time was now at hand, prayd them not to leave her, and being very weak, ſpake then her minde unto her Father, Mother, and Husband, in a ſort taking leave of them, ſent for her Children, and bleſſed them, now imagining to have done all her work: And ſo from thence fell into162 a ſilent Rapture of joyfull ſinging of Hymnes, and verſes of Pſalms, not greatly caring to ſpeak unto any body, ſave now and then unto Mr Dod when hee moved an occaſion: And ſo ſhee lay this Saturday night, and the next Sunday, only when Mr Dod came deſiring ſtill to give thanks, all which time ſhee grew weaker and weaker, having by this time no audible but a hollow low voyce, ſcarce to be underſtood.
The Munday after in the morning when ſhee fell aſleep being come, Mr Dod with the reſt comming unto her, ſhee when ſhee ſaw them all about her, rejoyced and ſmiled, taking them all by the hand with a cheerefull countenance, beckned unto Maſter Dod to give thanks, and bent her ſelfe what ſhee could163 with lifted up hands to joyne, ſpeaking ſoftly unto her ſelfe in her Hymning way: And ſo whilſt they were at Prayer, ſuddenly her hands falling, and her lips going, ſhe ſunck down in the bed and departed, leaving all her friends mourning about her.
Thus have we ſeene the ſtrange Story, and ſcarce credible, the like never heard of before I believe, of this good Gentlewoman, whom now wee will ſuffer to reſt in peace, freed from all the ſtormes and tempeſts wherein ſhee left her ſurvivers,Her buriall. Who two dayes after was buried according to her deſire at Ammerſum, in that Attire ſhee before her death had dreſſed her ſelfe; Dr Preſton Preaching her funerall Sermon, with the infinite teares of all her friends and poore of the Pariſh.
164Shee was of an extraordinary ſincere, plaine, true heart; full and abounding in love, mervellous ſecret in all her goodneſſe, very charitable to the poore, of an unblameable converſation and life; and the beſt Anti-hypocrite (Chriſt excepted) that ever lived; for, ſhe alwayes wore her worſt ſide outmoſt, and wonderfully clock'd all the good things ſhee ever did or ſaid; with all her skill endevouring to extenuate all ſhee this way did or ſaid: Of her jewels and other things her Husband lovingly gave her way to diſpoſe of, ſhee left Legacies and remembrances unto all her friends who had beene moſt helpfull unto her: and forty ſhillings a piece unto ſome few good poor women, whom ſhe had ſecretly, unknown unto any, procured to pray conſtantly for her.
165And now that we have brought this good Creature into Heaven, god Reader give mee leave, out of all which hath been ſaid (for memories ſake) to ſum up briefly her grand Caſe; leaſt it ſhould be miſtaken.
A good Creature, in her naturall eſtate,The ſum of this grand Caſe. qualified with the beſt of meere natures endowments; accidentally encountring with ſome grand difficulties, which a little overcame her natural parts. By the way, being ſurprized with admiration and wonder at the power of godlineſſe in ſome eminent Profeſſors her Neighbours (the reflex whereof ſtruck her with a ſtrong conviction, not to be yet the ſame, as to bee ſaved ſhee muſt needs bee) with her other concurring croſſes, wrought ſo upon her, as166 ſhee became very melancholy, yet with an enforced mirth to cloke the ſame; which advantage Satan eſpying (who ſtill loves to work out his ends by that dolefull temper) he aſſaults her with fearefull night-dreames, ſeconded with divers wilde-fire temptations to have driven her unto finall diſpaire, which hee had well neare effected. Meane while God intending to make her an everlaſting monument of his mercy, intending a great work unto others by her trouble and deliverance; to convert by the way her Husband and Parents with divers others in both Families (ſo ſtopping divers gaps with one buſh) and (as hee alwayes doth, and hath done) to over-ſhoot Satan in his own Bow; provides and ſends167 one of a thouſand to finde her out, wraſtle with all her temptations, foyle Satan, and convince her judgement; ſo drawing her unto a conformity of the meanes; though with much oppoſition. But yet ſo, as an habituall indiſpoſition ſhee had acquired (ſpiced with the dregges of remaining temptations) kept her off from endeavour, never all this time having had any comfort or feeling, without paines taking for it, in the interim ſhee is well beaten; God at length yeelding unto the importunity of prayers for her, affords her ſuch an immenſe meaſure of comfort and feeling for a ſmall time, as mortality was incapble to retaine: After which (her ſpirits thereby vanquiſhed) out-wearied with168 watching and inceſſant ſpeaking for divers dayes and nights together, for a ſmall time ſhee bewrayes ſome weakneſſe. But upon a private Faſt kept for her two dayes before her death, ſhee revives againe, maintaines her grounds, former joyes and feeling; from thence untill her death, remaining in a ſilent Rapture of joyes; wherein ſhee departed: leaving her ſelfe, the ever memorable mirror of Gods wonderfull mercies, unto all the ſtiffe, obdurate, hard-hearted for ever.
And now, good Reader, tell mee, Is it fit or poſſible that we ſhould part with ſo grand, ſtrange, rare, and matchleſſe a CASE, without ſome briefe uſe thereof unto the Survivers? for which cauſe it hath beene169 written, and for ought wee know, all her ſufferings were: O no, courage then, hold out a little, and I will now diſpatch briefly, endeavouring in the Cataſtrophe of this our Tragi-Comedie, to recompence thy patience, with the fragrances of ſome ſweet ſmelling cloſe of ſome Divine rarities.
Vſe. Firſt, Then here wee may learne, That not the great things of this world makes one happy, but the favour of the great God: Nothing being able to content the ſoule, but that which is able to fill it, which all this world cannot doe: Shewing that there is nothing ſuch in theſe earthly things (as wee imagine) in the evill day or times of tryall. Witneſſe this good Gentlewoman, the ſubject of our diſcourſe170 who might have ſwimmed in the fulneſſe of all earthly pleaſures; all which were nothing unto her, ſhee was dampt in the midſt of all; ſo as nothing could revive or joy her (like unto David) ſave the light of Gods countenance to be lifted up upon her. And therefore, not to deceive our ſelves, but to ſettle in our judgements, that wherein onely true ſolid laſting happineſſe conſiſts, the favour of God, and follow that with all our might.
Secondly, Then ſee hence, That of all the Burthens in this world, ſinne is the moſt inſupportable, eſpecially when therewith in any meaſure is joyned a ſenſe of the wrath of God: For if God, as it is in Amos, complaine, that hee is preſſed down under the171 ſame, as a Cart under the ſheaves, the ſenſe thereof alſo making David to roare for griefe of heart, having alſo bred ſo much terror, amazement and trouble unto this good Gentlewoman, for ſo many yeares together, being free of groſſe ſinnes; what may they think of themſelves, who goe on ſinning! without feare, living and going on in groſſer ſins without repentance?
Thirdly, Here we may ſee, That in the beſt, where there is ſinne, there muſt and will bee ſmarting puniſhments, though it be forgiven as Davids was: Yet we may ſoundly be beaten for the ſame, he taking vengeance of our inventions, as the Pſalmiſt ſpeaks: for this good Gentlewoman, though ſaved and forgiven, yet was ſoundly beaten ere ſhee departed hence. Therefore172 to bee afraid to ſinne, and to ſtand in awe of the anger of the great God; for though hee may forgive, yet if hee open Hell unto us, keep us in perpetuall fear as upon the rack, as he did this good Gentlewoman, letting Satan looſe to buffet her, oh what comfort can we have in ſuch a tormenting dying life? having our happineſſe hid from our eyes?
Fourthly, Hence alſo we may learn, That the more beloved, uſually the ſoundlier beaten, ſifted and tried, Amos 3. You only have I known, of all the Nations of the Earth, therefore you ſhall not goe unpuniſhed for all your iniquities; wherefore corrections being a ſign of love, not of reprobation (as the Devill perſwades) that the Saints ſhould not be diſcouraged though ſtorme-beaten in their journey173 homewards; they may goe to Heaven for all this, as this good Gentlewoman did.
Fifthly, And ſo here alſo we may gather what need we have of patience to have its perfect work in us, to fit us for the greateſt and moſt ſmarting afflictions: there being yet ſome light in this darke cloud; the ſoreſt and moſt ſmarting croſſes, ending uſually in the greateſt and moſt glorious deliverances: Witneſſe the none-ſuch troubles of Iacob, Ioſeph, Iob, David, the Churches forty years Pilgrimage in the Wilderneſſe, & of this good Gentlewoman, all ending in peace and joy; becauſe the promiſe is, that of neceſsity, the patient abiding of the righteous muſt needs end in joy.
Sixthly, Then alſo we ſee here, that croſſes and afflictions are only leſſer and greater, as it pleaſes the174 great God to ſet them on leſſe or more: as it pleaſes him to abſtract the light of his countenance from us, turn looſe Satan upon us, enfatuate our judgements, giving us ſome taſte and ſenſe of his encenſed wrath: Oh! who then can dwell with ſuch everlaſting burnings? and if ſmaler ſins diſcovered thus ſet on and torment, yea, ſome thoughts only, as in this good Gentlewoman; Oh! what may the greater doe, if he ſhould aggravate them, diſcovering the wrath due unto them, without a ſuitable ſight of mercy? Therefore to break off our ſins betimes, repent of them, and to ſow for our ſelves in righteouſneſſe, that wee may have a ſure reward, and bee able at laſt to ſtand with boldneſſe before the Son of Man.
Seventhly, So ſeeing too eager deſire175 of feeling coſt this Gentlewoman ſo deare though ſhee had her deſire, therefore not to dote too much upon it; being reſtleſſe untill they have it, as many good ſoules doe, who like Rachel reſtleſſe for children, cryd out ſtill, comfort, comfort, feeling feeling, or elſe wee die: But let them be contented of what meaſure thereof God of his infinite wiſedome thinks beſt for them: For, He who hath created them for eternity of glory, ſurely knowes the beſt meanes and way to bring them thither: Seeing, feeling at the beſt is uncertaine, ſhort and quickly vaniſhing; and too much doted upon and eagerly perſued, brings us onely to a habit of diſcontentment without it: whilſt wee cannot bee contented unleſſe every day the Almighty feaſt us, forgetting that wee walk by faith,176 and not by ſight; and that the life we now live in the fleſh is by the Faith of the Son of God; viſion and ſenſe, for to come.
Eighthly, Then behold from this rare experience here this leſſon, Not to preſcribe or appoint God a way which way to bring us unto glory; Hee knew the fitteſt and ſhorteſt way to have brought the children of Iſrael unto the Land of Canaan, without paſſing through a red ſea: But out of his infinite wiſedome, he made choyce of the wilderneſſe way unto them, That (as Moſes ſhewes) hee might prove them, try them and doe them good at their latter end: And yet how crooked ſoever his wayes ſeem unto our corrupted ſenſes, they bee alwayes ſtraight, how full ſoever of turnings and windings; as the Pſalmiſts, That hee brought them177 out by a right way unto Canaan: Therefore to reſt confident herein, that this which God appoints is alwayes beſt for us; whether hee lead us in a wilderneſſe, in a a ſtraight, crooked, ſmooth, tedious long afflicted way, by the gates of Hell unto Heaven, or with a more gentle comfortable gale of joy; let us be contented, ſo he bring us thither, as hee did this good woman here; if by any meanes wee attaine unto a joyfull Reſurrection of the Dead, it is a very great purchaſe as Paul acknowledges.
Ninthly, For (which is the next) Sure it is, Seeing a glance of Heaven, a little taſte of heavenly joy is ſo prevalent to make us to forget all, even an age of afflictions, as this good Gentlewoman found, who thereupon forgot all her178 by-paſt troubles ſwallowed up in ſurmounting joyes; I ſay, if a touch, a taſte, a ſhort glance onely bee ſo forcible and raviſhing, How ſurmountingly excellent glorious and reviſhing ſhall that eſtate bee to drink at the fountaine head of the beatificall viſion, out of the rivers of his pleaſures for ever? Therefore to reſt confident and patient in all afflictions, ſeeing our comforts are at length beyond all our croſſes; ſeeing God ruines none by afflictions, but purges, purifies, cleanſes, whitens, enlightens and fits us thereby to bee veſſels capacious of ſo much the more glory; out of the ruines of the fleſh, erecting, framing and building up that glorious ſtructure of the new creature, to mount up at length out of the wilderneſſe of this world, fraught with Myrrhe179 and Frankincenſe, and all the ſpices of the Merchant, unto eternity of glory for ever.
Tenthly, Next hence obſerve, That God never comes too late unto his ſervants, but will alwayes bee ſeene in the Mount, making our extremities his opportunities: as he did unto Abraham in Iſaac's caſe, and as this good Gentlewoman found, who being much afflicted, comfortleſſe for many yeares together, even at the point of death: yet at length hee was entreated, came and revived her, in a ſwifter courſe then the running ſwift Charets of Aminadab: nay, came flying as it were upon the wings of the winde, paſſing ans skipping by all the hills of ſinnes and mountaines of her corruptions; when (in her appearing laſt ſuit unto him, and extreame weakneſſe) ſhe had beg's180 now at length once before her death to open the brazen gates of her hard heart, that the King of glory might enter in; which was abundantly done. Therefore, though he ſtay never ſo long, let all the hard-hearted gaine by this experience of hers; with the Churches reſolution in Iſaiah, I will wait upon him who hides his face from the houſe of Iacob; and I will look for him; and reaſon good, For he never failes of comming, being waited for, and engaged by ſo many promiſes; wherein it is impoſsible for him to deny himſelfe.
Eleventhly, Further alſo hence wee may learn how to deale with thoſe in affliction in whatſoever Caſe: View them well firſt, be not too brief with them; Heare them vent themſelves, Try the ſymptomes and pulſes of their diſeaſe,181 as Iobs three friends who ſate (it is written) ſeven dayes and nights ſilent, becauſe thay ſaw his griefe was great; for unſeaſonable comforts are and prove but like raine falling upon hard ſtones, which runs off as faſt as it comes, making no impreſsions: whilſt their buzzing heads and tranſported ſpirits are gadding, plodding elſewhere with ſtrong diverſions; as it fell out with this good Gentlewomen; who paſſed not for all was ſaid unto her for a long time, neither was hope of cure, untill the Devils counſell was bewrayed.
1. Therefore, it behoves to be circumſpect and patient awhile to finde out the cauſe and circumſtances of diſtempers, or elſe no good can bee done; for though counſell in the heart of a man be like deep waters, yet Salomon182 ſhewes, that a man of underſtanding will fetch it out.
2. And then his counſell being bewrayed, the Patient muſt be mildly, meekly and gently uſed, not hald and puld, hurried and chid; O no, this is a wrong courſe; but uſed with abundant patience and love, waited upon, with many good words, and ſuffered to bemoane themſelves as much as they liſt, repeating one thing ſtill over and over againe, as often as they pleaſe; Many good things fit for them muſt be uttered in their hearing not too ſoone preſſd upon them, as ſpoken unto others; they muſt have here a little and there a little, not preſſd beyond their ſtrength; wonne by degrees with a loving ſweet affable carriage; as all theſe yeares of this good womans trouble ſhee was183 ſerved by all her friends which wonne much, and wrung many things from her in love which could not otherwiſe poſſibly have been attained: For alas, All that while they are in a ſpirituall fever; and what and Phyſitian will adventure to give phyſick in a burning fever?
3. When they begin to mend and become more docible, wee muſt no then bring like Iobs friends (who miſtook his caſe) the Law for the Goſpel. This is Satans work uſually, moſt of them are to apt to lay too much load upon themſelves; It is an eaſie matter to throw down, when one is a going (facilis diſcenſus Averni) then it is Satans work, down with it, down with it, down with it even to the ground: O, but it is the work of the great God to raiſe184 one up who is dejected: It is the work of the Holy Ghoſt in that caſe to raiſe up, encourage, and convince us in a deſpairing eſtate: Wherefore ſpirituall Phyſitians muſt be like Chriſt the great Phyſitian, of whom it is ſaid, A bruiſed reed ſhall hee not break, and ſmoaking flax ſhall he not quench, untill hee bring forth judgement unto victory, or a victorious ſanctification in us: as wee were glad to doe by this good creature, by all gentle meanes to toll on, uphold and cheriſh her ſpirit, untill God at length came in, and did all.
Twelfly, But lo, lo, whilſt we are now towards a concluſion, where Thanksgiving alſo appeareth, in treating on the paſſages of this Rare Caſe not to be forgotten, ſo as the ſtupidi•y, dulneſſe, deadneſſe185 and ſluggiſhneſſe of our ſinfull diſpoſitions might be whetted and ſet on edge more then ever thereby unto more exact and ſerious frequent actings thereof; for our freedome from thoſe innumerable troubles, ſorrowes, ſickneſſes and diſeaſes, both inward and outward, of all ſorts, which tormenteth many others better then we; who enjoying abundance of unperceived, ordinary mercies, doe therefore ſlight and neglect the ſame: For, when vexations of tooth-ach, ſtone, ſtrangury, convulſions, gout, palſies, burning, fevers, agues, ulcers, ſwellings, broken and diſ-joynted bones, ſtreined ſinews, diſplaced arteries, inflammations and the like annoy us; terrors of conſcience, with a wounded ſpirit; Satans inceſſant buffettings, apprehenſions of Hell,186 and the wrath of God affright us: O what torments, dolefull dayes and miſeries doe we endure, to bec as it is, Deut. 28. In perpetuall feares, having no aſſurance of our lives? And yet O how unthankfull are wee and ſenſleſſe of ſo great and wonderfull mercies, as daily and nightly we are freed from, the leaſt whereof (when their contraries ſurprize us) makes us cry out as moſt miſerable: witneſſe this good Gentlewoman forementioned, Who being and living in continuall feares, valued nothing at all this world, took no comfort in any thing here below: And yet it is ſtrange how daily we ſlubber over our Thanksgivings and freedom from miſeries we enjoy, as though they were not moſt great and wonderfull, every morning renewed mercies; or elſe we187 ſhould have wonderfull and dolefull dayes: But it is our miſery and frailty, that a prick of a pin in our fleſh uſually wee are more ſenſible of, then of the health and harmonicall concord both of ſoul and body: And therefore hereafter, to chafe, ſurvey, and conſider of our preſent mercies, to bruiſe and toſſe them, as men doe Aromatick ſweets, that their fragrancies may the more abundantly ſpread forth themſelves, whilſt the North and South winde of the ſpirit thus blowes upon them, to ſhew forth and make us conſider of their excellencies unto Admirations utmoſt wonder; thus to aſcend a higher pitch upon this mount of Thanksgiving, and become more perfect upon earth of our endleſſe work in Heaven.
188Thirteenthly, As we began with this good Creature, who led forth the Van in a Tempeſt; ſo now having been victorious, let us ſo far honour her as to bring up the Reere, and make the laſt Uſe, which ſhe her ſelfe made unto all ſucceeding Survivers howſoever afflicted, eſpecially, by diſſertion or hardneſſe of Heart: That they ſhould upon experience of her CASE, and Gods goodneſſe unto her, not be ſo diſcouraged in any eſtate whatſoever, as to give over the uſe of meanes, but to ply them ſtill; truſt and wait, and they would prevaile at length. Therefore then from hence, let all ſuch learn to wait and depend upon God: And ſince (as it is Iſa. 30.) hee waits in all their troubles for an opportunity to ſhew mercy unto them; therefore to wait and depend189 upon him untill hee come: For though they may wait long, yet herein they may abundantly comfort themſelves, That God will comfort them according to all the dayes they have beene afflicted, and the years wherein they have ſeene evill; That hee who hath ſhewed us ſore and great troubles, will yet quicken us againe, and bring us up from the depth of the earth; encreaſe our greatneſſe, and comfort us on every ſide, Pſal. 71.20.21. That though they have beene led through fire and water, cauſing men ride over their heads, yet that he will bring them forth unto a wealthy place, Pſal. 66.12. That when they walk in the midſt of trouble, God will revive them, and maintaine their cauſe, Pſal. 140.12. That after deliverances190 from affliction, their ſouls ſhall be as a watered Garden, and ſhall not ſorrow any more at all, Ier. 31.12. And that in deliverance, they ſhall have ſeverall comforts, anſwering their ſeverall croſſes, Ier. 31.8. being built up againe, as at the firſt, Ier. 33.7.
And therefore to perſiſt and goe on, truſting ſtill and depending upon God; becauſe though they may for the preſent want ſenſe and feeling of Gods love; yet (as Peter ſpeaks) becauſe in the interim they are kept by the power of God unto ſalvation, that they are all in Gods hand at the worſt, Deut. 33.3. from above having the eternall God for their refuge; beneath being claſpt in his everlaſting armes, Deut. 23.27. And ſo, Becauſe hee brings light from darkneſſe, perfection from weakneſſe,191 by death bringing unto life, and by the gates of Hell unto Heaven: Seeing he makes all things work together for good unto us, and all his works (how croſſes ſo ever) beautifull in time. O let the Saints after ſo rare a Preſident of this good woman, never hereafter bee out of Heart, aſſuring themſelves of deliverance whatſoever their Caſe be, in uſing of the meanes: For, What is a hard heart, yea ten thouſand hard hearts unto that great God, who with a Word made Heaven and Earth? for whom nothing is too hard, Gen. 17.1. Who over-turneth the Mountaines by the roots, who ſhakes the Earth; Heaven dropping at his preſence, Pſal. 78.8. who calleth all the Stars by their names; by the greatneſſe of his might, ſpans the Heavens, clothing192 them with blackneſſe, making Sack-cloth their covering; commanding the Sun not to riſe, and ſealing up the Starres, &c.
Upon all theſe grounds therefore, and many moe (too tedious to relate) let all ſtoope unto God, Saint-like lie and ſit down at his feet, receiving of his words, taking the experimentall counſell of this good woman, to keep cloſe unto God in the uſe of meanes, and then they are ſafe, Reſolving that though they die, yet to die at his feet; and ſo to wait, and truſt ſtill unto the laſt, for he will come at laſt unto them; as Habacuc hath it, The viſion is for an appointed time, though it it tarry, yet wait, for it will come and not tarry, as it did unto this good woman after ten years expectation, whoſe abundant feeling and comforts193 in the end, did manifoldly ſurmount all her ſufferings and troubles in an unſpeakable manner and meaſure, leaving her ſelfe as the matchleſse monument of Gods unſpeakeable mercy, unto all ſtout, ſtiffe, and hard-hearted ſinners for ever, even though for a while they doe reſiſt the meanes; who for all this may be won by overcomming mercies as ſhe was; ſo tryumphing over all their ſpirituall enemies, as to ſing at length in a more enſulting and lofty way with Deborah.