Mrs. Parliament her GOSSIPPING.
WELL, well; Never make compariſons with me Goodee Statute, 'tis, known to my Neighbours what I am well enough, and to what Houſes ally'd; thou art but of a mean Parentage; nor that Trollup (thy ſiſter Juſtice neither;) marry come up mother Ʋgly? ſhalt thou and thy Siſter Damnable take the upper hand of me? I defie ye both, and ſcorn to foul my mouth with two ſuch Bagagges, that for neglect of doing your ſeverall Offices, are now turn'd out of ſervice by my Mother Parliament, and now doe ye think to take place? Yes, yes, when my mother hath nothing elſe to doe, ſo ye ſhall. Get you gon to your King to the Ile of Wight, he perhaps may entertain you, (if Colonell Hammond pleaſes) for my Mother ſhall have nothing to doe with ſuch homely Goſſips as you are; Pray be packing: neither Statute, Juſtice, Law, Reaſon, not Religion, either comes within her doors ſo long as Ordinancas eyes be open: And though I ſay't (that ſhould not ſay't,) I have been an obedient Daughter to her, and have up riſing, and down-lying, with all dilligence executed her commands (right or rong) ſhe knows it well enough, and ſo doth my Father in law Cromwell too; and my Reveren'd Uncle, the new Chancellor of Oxford. High and Mighty Phillip Switch, Earl of Pembroke, will ſweare Dam him he loves me; and I muſt love him againe, in deſpight of what doe ye call it hu, hu, hu, I huming Learning, 'tis; my Mother and I have pepper'd huming learning, Biſhops! ha, ha, ha, I laugh to think of Canterbury; oh my ſides, how I made him ſhorter by the head, and quite ſpoil'd his huming learning: Doſtors cotha; I have caſt their waters for them, and made many of them to4 drink water, and to leap at a cruſt too; I laugh to think on't, what doe they call them, Deanes, Prebends and Chapiters; all one with me, or my Unckle Phillip either: If we ſay they be all Popiſh, they be all Popiſh, and pray who dare ſay the contrary; then will my Unckle and I out them their profane Nurſeries of Learning becauſe there ſhould be none wiſer then ourſelves; and put in their Places Innocents in Learning, pure J•norance, Devout Folly, and Zealous Madneſs; What though the Wicked terme them Fools, Mad-men or Knaves, ſo long as we are a•l accounted ſo at Weſtminſter; Is it any matter for Learning? Give me my Mother tongue in a pure Parliament Dialects the Alphabet where of begins with K. that is in plain Engliſh Knave, or Knaves: L. betokens Learning, and may be let out, Beſides it is a Numerall Letter, and ſignifies fifty, that is ſome of the Number of the Beaſt; and is uſed in CharLes•M. that may ſtand, becauſe we cannot ſpell money without it, which my Mother Parliament loves exceedingly: Money is the main Key of our Work; Take away money, alas Ordinance is not worth a ſtraw, nor Parliament neither: O begins my own Name; wee have taught the people that already, to cry out O, oh! when we kill them; Rob or Plunder them of all they have, and then the poor wretches being ready to ſtarve, will quickly learn O: P. begins my Mothers Name, P. Parliament, P. Priviledge, Pay, Perjury; P. is the best Letter in our Alphabet. Q. is profane, being the firſt Letter of Queene, and is not to be used in my mother tongue, ſave in two places; Queſtion, and Quarter: R is abomination, and ſo is C too; who hath not read〈◊〉we cannot indure it, Rex, 'tis as hatefull to us as a Croſſe upon a Steeple; yet in Riches or Revenue it is tolerable: S ſignifies Seſſments, Say and Seale, and is a Letter much uſed in Weſtminſter School, as S for Sed•tion, S. Sacriledge, S ſlavery: T TOM, T — &c. T Traytors, T Tyburne, T tyrants, and T task-maſters, Turn coats, &c. V. Vote U for me, and ile Vote for U: V ſhall pay for all (U the Common People I mean:) V have undone us all; the Devil take U, and all the reſt of the Alphabet for me; Here be Letters enough for my mothers Children; your will with me Statute?
Had I my will, I would hang both thee and thy mother too: had thy mother been an honeſt woman Statute had never forſaken her; when I and my ſiſter Juſtice gave her over ſhe entertain'd thee into ſervice, to execute her unjuſt commands; then ſhe play'd the Strumpet to ſome purpoſe became a Murderer, a Witch, a Thief.
Wilt thou prove my mother a Witch or a Whore?
Yes, and a murdering bloody Whore too: Siſter Juſtice call hither my Cozen Trut•, ſhe can witneſs it.
I will obey yee. Siſter Truth? why Siſter Truth, Come into the Court.
Truth, here is a difference betwixt Mrs. Ordinance the Baſtard Iſſue of Mrs. Parliament and my ſelf; I know thou art her profeſt enemy; but yet thou art ſo honeſt, that thou canſt not hate her Perſon more then her Conditions; therefore I deſire thee to ſpeak of her as ſhe deſerves and no otherwiſe.
I will; ſhee deſerves to be hang'd drawn and Quartered; or burnt with her Houſes about her ears.
Make her Crimes known good Truth; I muſt not alwayes deferre deſerved puniſhment.
Dear Cozins, had either of you both been us'd by her as I have been; you would not•uffer her to live a Day.
I prithee tell us how?
Why ſhee has Voted me a Malignant kick'd me out of the Church, the Parliament-Houſe and all the Courts of Juſtice, and banniſh'd poor Truth into an•land, where J have ſuffered all miſeries whatſoever, as cold, hunger, nakedneſs, whil'ſt ſhe like a Strumpet, hath•ur•eited with the Exceſs ſhe hath gain'd by Extortion, Theft and Rapine; Rob'd God, the King and Common-wealth, and hath bewitch'd the People into abhorred Rebellion, and led them blindfold by the Noſes to their own deſtruction; That her eldeſt Baſtard Ordinance is likewiſe a Traytor to the Kingdome, and a bloody murderer, of ſouls as well as bodies ▪ and an arrant Pick-pocket, and a Pawde, and her Daughter the like; for what miſchief ſoever hath been Ordered by the one, hath been acted by the other, both againſt Reaſon, Law and Conſcience.
I can forbeare her no longer; apprehend the Scrumpet that ſhe may ſuffer deſerved puniſhment, according to he•crimes?
Ile proſecute the Law on them, and Truth ſhall brin•in the Evidence againſt them both. But who comes here cla•all in ſables?
Was ever grief like mine? O my HEAD! my Eye are dimm'd with weeping; my bowells tremble, my hands are palſied or'e, my heart weeps blood, and all the faculties of my ſoul and body are out of frame; I am troubled with lunitick paſſions, and a dull lethargy ſeizes on all my vitalls; ſure I am bewitch'd, a Paniqe fear glides through all my veines; Help, help O ye Celeſtiall powers, and ſtave Confuſion off me, which threateneth my ſudden ruine.
'Tis Mrs. England; ſhee's in a ſtrange fit, ile ſee if I can comfort her,
All hayl to ſad dejected England; What is the reaſon of your heavineſs? if Iuſtice can adminiſter any comfort to thee; be ſure on't: Here is my cozen Statute too, and honeſt Truth will doe the lik.
Dear friends, welcome to poor deſpiſed England; this full ſeven years J have enquir'd after you, and never could finde you out till now, though J have ſought for you at Westminſtered, and all the Kingdom over.
Alas Mrs. England, we have been, all three baniſh'd from thence this ſeven yeers, and beat out of the Church too, Robb'd, Plunder'd, and Sequeſtrated of all our Lands and goods, flung into Priſons, and expoſed to all the miſeries that Malice could invent againſt us.
Mrs. Enland, our ſufferings are all alike: therefore it is but folly to complain of our wrongs; let us finde out the authoreſſe of all this miſchief, that by her Witchcraft and black Sorcery hath wrought all our ills; Know you who 'tis has wrought all this that J may whet my glittering ſword, and pierce the Strumpets heart.
'Tis ſoon known who is the Authour of our miſerys 'tis that dam'd Hagge Mrs. Parliament, and her Daughter Ordinance, that feeds fat with Theft and Rapine, and quaff whole mazor Bowls of Englands blood.
Let's apprehend the Witch, and try her and her Daughter by the known Lawes of the Land; but firſt let us degrade her, ſtrip her out of her Parliament-Roabes, and then ſearch the Impoſture, to ſee what marks ſhe has about her privities, to give ſuch damned Spirits ſuck, as Mancheſter and Lenthall her two Familiars, and thoſe Evill ſpirits Mildmay, Veine, Martyn, and Devill Challonor conjur'd as low as hell, and all the damned Furyes in the Houſes to knaw tbeir wriſts, and bite their fingers ends off, tearing their Snaky locks whilſt they ſit mumbling or'e their helliſh Charmes, and execrable Spells, till we have diſpers'd all hells balefull Powers, that now ſeeme to overtopp us.
We are all agreed; let's make it known unto the Common People, and they'l diſpatch her preſently; many hands will make light work with her: but firſt let Mrs. London guard her ſurely leſt ſhe run away before this be effected.
No, 'tis pitty the Rude multicnde ſhould handle her; Let me firſt try this damn'd Geneva Witch; perhaps ſhe may confeſs her guilt: If ſhe can rehearſe the Lords Prayer, or the Creed ſhe is no Witch.
She hath deny'd that long ſince; Nurſe Synod can tell that well enough: Ile draw up her Indictment preſently.
Doe good Truth, and ile produce you witneſſes enough againſt her Ile warrant you.
Summon them all three to the Barre.
Mrs. Parliament, Mrs. Ordinance, Mrs. Synod, anſwer to your Names, and appear in the Court to anſwer what ſhall be objected againſt you for my Lord the King.
Mrs. Parliament hold up thy hand to the Barren, Thou8 art Arraigned by the Name of Parliament, That wheras thou haſt (not having the grace of God before thine eyes) ever ſince Novem. 3. 1641. againſt the Lawes of our Soveraigne Lord the King, by the inſtigation of the Devil, Trayterouſly endeavoured to change the Fundamentall Lawes of the Kingdom; and to root out the King and his Poſterity; to root out, and overthrow the very beings and foundations of Parliament; and to bring a ſcandall and reproach upon that High and Honourable Ceurt; That ſhe hath by her ſorceries and deluſions bewitched the People into Rebellion againſt their Gracious Soveraigne the Lords Anointed; That ſhe hath ſacrilegiouſly rob'd God of his Worſhip, he Church of its Patrimony, the King of his Revenue; the Subject of his Libertie; and changed Religion into Faction; Preaching into prating Blaſphemy, Treaſons, Contradictions and Tautallogies; That ſhe hath by the Power of the Sword by the help of a Tyrannicall, Schiſmatticall and Overawing Party) robbed and killed the Subjects, even at her very doors as they come to make know their a grievances; That ſhe ſtill keeps her King in Priſon, and inſults and Tyranizes over the Lives & Fortuns of a Free-born people, charging them with inſupportable Impoſitions to maintain an Army to deſtroy themſelves who act nothing but Rapine, Murder and Cruelty, and hath brought all the Plagues of God upon this Nation.
What ſayſt thou Mrs. Parliament, art thou guilty, or not guilty of all theſe crimes objected againſt thee by Truth?
Guilty of all this, and ten times more, and would doe it again, had I yet power.
Graceleſs wretch! Let us proceed to ſentence.
Miſtris Parliament, thy Conſcience is a thouſand witneſſes: I Wiſh thou couldſt repent; Thou art to return to the place from whence thou camſt and from thence to be drawn to the place of Execution, and there to be hanged and Quartered. So Lord have mercy on thy ſoul. Take her Jaylo•.
I defie ye all; doe your worſt: Yet ſave my childe.
Call a Jury of Women to ſearch her.